sirjoe55

    *"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her     sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give     you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If     you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and     enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready   to recieve a ...

Love Story


I will seek and find you . .
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm
finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu
...

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.>> One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to>> ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of moneyif>>> she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.>>> If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide Child>> Support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would>> know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her tosimply>> mail him a postcard, ...

The sharing of marriage...

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to ...

An old man goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.

'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'

'I can cut them for you' said the chemist 'but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.'

'I am 96' said the old man . 'I don't want an erection.

I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a
couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I ...

 Three little ducks go into a Bar............




"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's ...

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer
in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this,
and I love the way this old guy handled it:


An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached ...

Should children witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the
Call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked
Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her
Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very
Diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and
Pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The Paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on ...

KNOCK KNOCK  
                                                                  A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and ...

   What I thought was Impossibe is now reality Ferrari Champions  F1    The Red 

Italian Altar Boy


Bless me Father, for I have sinned"  "I have been with a loose girl."

The Priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Parisi?"

"Yes Father it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you might
as well ...

 Well this is my day sitting here in my office and my sister called me up to tell me to come to the hospital where I will be recoverd for 3 days . It's for a deep and total check up hoping nothing serious . Besides that it will be difficult for me to be away from TF which is my Thai connection and my close friends here , But I will try to get into my sisters office and get on her computer just to say hi can't stay away from my TF connection to long  Well you all have a wonderful day

 Today hada wonderful surprise .I was on my to the beach when I stoped for a cup of coffee at a lovely park with a little lake and I decided to talk a walk then I started to smell in the air something so familiar looking around i started to so so many Thais after a while it seemed like I walked into Thailand ,I thought I was dreaming . Then they explained to me that the first Sunday of every month the Thai comunity have this get together here in Rome , now I know where I will ...

  Well since I have gotten back from my holiday there is nothing but long hours of work in my office  (newspaper) in Rome, as I am sure probably as most all of you know Daniele Mastrogiacomo Italian journalist kidnappped in Afaghanistan 15 days ago . Seemed he was going to be released today but seem the Talibans keep asking for more for more ransome . I am here like the rest of the world hoping Daniele Mastrogiacomo will be free soon to get back to his family and normal life ...