get as many votes as you can,,today a friend of mine died of cancer,,,docters gave her 6 months ,she copt it in 5 weeks ,,,,i am glad personaly that she left so fast.......her mother and family are beyond talkin to,,,, she leaves us with wonderfull memories and a wonderfull daughter,35 years young,,i will see her again,,i hope its not soon...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
last night i was host to a wedding recerption..we all been to them,,fammilly one side of the room other side the other,,,,anyway
tonight ,one of my scottish bar girls got hooked to a marrocon guy ,,no fight s no nothing,,the marrocom people and th e sweatysocks were an absalooooooote plesure to with we had belly dancers ,we had a dance team from the casino,and everybody got on juust fine,,all the mixed kids dancin together,,everybody dancin together and NOT ONE FIGHT,,that is the first wedding
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found
his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?"
"Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his
wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few
minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the
man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got ther
>>A New York City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
>>"Nice bike", the cop said, "did Santa bring it to you?"
>>
>>"Yep", the little girl said, "he sure did!"
>>
>>The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
>>The young girl looked up at the cop a
In 2050 A.D. Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He
> finds himself in the
> Purgatory waiting room, when God enters...
>
>
>
> "Well, Bill," says God, "I'm confused. I'm not
> sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell: you
> helped society enormously by putting a computer in
> almost every home in the world, and yet you've also
> created some of the most unearthly frustrations
> known to mankind. I'm going to do something I've
> nev
createRecreate Bangkok in Your Very Own Home.
Missing the land of smiles? Why not re-create the full city of Angels
experience in your own home with these few simple suggestions.
Re-create the feel of being in a short-time hotel room by hanging up two
grubby towels with the texture of a Weetabix, taking a shower with a bar of
soap no bigger than your thumbnail and getting your wife(or Jerry Albone)
to periodically bang on the door for no reason whatsoever.
Re-create the Soi Patpon
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer
>them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.
>OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
>
>
>
> Ready?
> GO!!! (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> First Question:
> You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What
>position are you in?
>
>
> Answer: If you answered that you are first, the
boas festas feliz natal e filiz ana novo to all my friends on tf,,,sorry if i didnt get back to anyone but this is my buisiest time of year for me,,,so i hope every one of you has a fantastic festive season
boas festas feliz natal e filiz ana novo to all my friends on tf,,,sorry if i didnt get back to anyone but this is my buisiest time of year for me,,,so i hope every one of you has a fantastic festive season
> >FOR THOSE BORN BEFORE 1986
> >>
> >>According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were
>kids
> >>in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived,
>because
> >>our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which
> >>was promptly chewed and licked.
> >>
> >>We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or
> >>cabinets and it
my childhood hero died today,,he was the finest footbaler i ever saw,,i will never forget the pleasure he gave me and millions of others,thx georgie......
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always
circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment
from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and
check that it has gone.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the
object you wish to view.
Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but
you'll also be getting paid for it.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nib
> > Satan appeared at the front of a church. Everyone
> > started screaming and
> > running for the front entrance,
> > trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away
> > from evil incarnate.
> > Soon the church was empty
> > except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in
> > his pew without moving,
> > seemingly oblivious to the
> > fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
> >
> > Satan walke
> >
> > This is so funny that it will boggle your mind.
> > And if you are
> > anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will
> > keep trying at
> > least a few more times to see if you can
> > outsmart your foot,
> > but you can't.
> >
> > 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right
> > foot off the
> > floor and make clockwise circles.
> >
> > 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6"
> >
A young man called Derrick wanted to purchase a gift for his new
sweetheart's Christmas present. As they had not been dating for very long,
after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves
would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister he went to Harrods and bought a
dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant
mixed up
· This test only has one question, but it is a very important one.
· By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
· The test features an unlikely, fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
· Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
· Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION
You are in New Orleans to be specific. There is chaos all around you
more bombs in balli ,when will this **** end,,lifes to short as it is,, without all the idiots killing inocent people for all the wrong reasons,,anyway thats my twopenneth on it,my condolences to anyone caught up in the mess
Billy was at school one morning in the outback and
>
>the teacher asked all the children what their fathers
>
>did for a living. All the typical answers came out,
>
>Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry
>
>etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet
>
>and so the teacher asked him about his father.
>
>"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes
>
>off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes
Subject: Fw: LITTLE BOY
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My
Subject: Fw: Memo from your boss
>
>
>Dear Staff:
>
>It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals
>in our office have been using foul language during the course of normal
>conversation with their co-workers.
>
>Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
>offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated.
>
>We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
>accurately e
The Lawyer and The Sheriff
>A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He
>thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has
>
>a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some
>fun at the deputies expense...........
>Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
>Lawyer says, "What for?"
>Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign ." Lawyer
>says, "I slowed down, a
Tax inspector
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the Books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical a
