Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it's about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.Good night and sleep well to all of you
How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess?
A teacher says: we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says: hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a airline stewardness says: put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked
Lady:Are they your babies?
MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
To be happy with a MAN, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a WOMAN, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.