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Reasons why I never visit my rich friend:

Once visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and...... Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino or Coffee?" Answer: " Tea please" Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or green tea ?" Answer : " Ceylon tea " Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ? Answer: "white" Question: "Milk, or fresh cream? Answer: "With milk " Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk

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iBatch

 

Misheard Lyrics

and  http://www.funnyjunk.com/movies/3569/Black+Eyed+Peas+I+Gotta+Feeling+PARODY+I/ 

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iBatch

 

China Southern Airlines Announcement...

[Pre-take off announcement on a China Southern Airlines Flight].  This is true story of what  was heard on a recent  flight from Shenzhen to Qingtao .                 Chinese Air Stewardess   'Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang Lui speaking. On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to welcome you on board our Bowling 737 from Shenzhen to Qingtao. Members of my crew speak Chinese and other languages that you do not know. It is a great pressure servi

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iBatch

 

Dirty Jokes

4 Kinds of Sex There are four kinds of sex :  HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.  BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.  HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU"  COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.     Hand Job  A guy has been askin

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iBatch

 

The Girlfriend

Ladies, you want to know how to be the perfect girlfriend? You just have to behave and think like this girl does. You don?t have to look exactly like her although it wouldn?t hurt. Bonus points if you?ve got a sexy accent.

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iBatch

 

R.I.P Santa

dun get all yr hope up this year... paparazzi found Santa layed unconscious on the street. Police said he got bitted by Edward- the Cullens from Twilight... after he refuse to send him glitter.  

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iBatch

 

Flat Stomach

A Flat Stomach........ A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.  The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'  The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it...' 'Your wasting your time,' said the boy. 'Why is

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iBatch

 

I'll be on holiday

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.   Read the full description before looking at the picture.  The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary 's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differe

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iBatch

 

Good Ones

1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin. Mom asked 'How do you know?' Girl replied 'Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover.'    (2) Bangladesh Worker: 'Sir, me no come to work, me sick.' Boss: ' When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it.' 2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: 'Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house.'     (3) After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock. Man asked: 'Why? Want to have sex again?' Thai Girl replied: 'No

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iBatch

 

"MEN OF HONOUR".

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!   "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.   "Is this

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iBatch

 

Added more Jokes! Hahahahah ooi yoi hahaha Help me i cant stop laughing!

Confusing Chinese Names Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)! Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent. Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother

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iBatch

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