How tO shOwEr
Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
>Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, *cover* up any exposed areas.
>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
>Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
>Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
>Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
>Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>Rinse conditioner off hair.
>Shave armpits and legs.
>Turn off shower.
>Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
>Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>Get out of shower.
>Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent
towel.
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>If you see husband along the way, *cover* up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the *bed* and leave them in a pile
>Walk naked to the bathroom If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
>Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener
and scratch your butt.
>Get in the shower.
>Wash your face.
>Wash your armpits.
>Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
>Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
>Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
>Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
>Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>Pee.
>Rinse off and get out of shower.
>Partially dry off..
>Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
>Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>Leave shower Curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
>Throw wet Towel on her pillow.
>If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something so very wrong with you. Have a great Day! Oh, and...
woo woo J
0 Comments
Recommended Comments