Well its been a long time since I last posted anything in my journal.  The last time I was in Thailand was in the summer of 2006.  I had a great time and met some nice people. One woman in particular I enjoyed spending time with.  We went to the movies, dinner and enjoyed each others company. After I returned home I began to chat with her online on msn.  She told me that she missed me and wanted to see me again.  When I heard this I was happy because I thought she was just interested in being friends.  Thats the impression that I got every time we hung out together in Thailand.  So because of this I never made any moves on her.   We chatted online and decided that we would have a serious relationship.  She told me that she would not date anyone until I returned to Thailand.  However after just a few weeks I would get emails saying please hurry and come see me. This kind of bothered me because it is not cheap to fly to Thailand from the USA.  So unfortunately I cant' come there every month to see someone that I like.   Eventually I asked her online - " After I come see you again then what?" Looking at the big picture what do you think will happen.  Can you say to yourself that you would do whatever it takes to make this relationship last or only be with me if I keep coming to Thailand? Will you leave your country and come live with me in the USA? These  are the questions that I ask before I get too serious with someone online.  Because if these questions can't be answered then I don't see any reason to date someone from another country. I would love to move to Thailand and be with someone but right now I can't do that.  I have student loans, a new car and soon a condo.  So unless a woman is okay with moving here I really can't do anything but see her once in awhile when I come to Thailand.  Unfortunately that is not enough for a relationship to work out.  This is what I call the Big Picture! 

im happy to move there, my visa is ready for you!!!

hahahahah

could understand what you mean....totally understand.

i know someone did that before, move to her man's country and leave everything; her family, friends and a really good career...a couple years went by and it didnt work ( doesnt mean yours will be the same)..she got nothing left back home..that's probably why she doesnt wanna go there...same as you.

take your time...get to know each other more...and longer

then make a big decision

good luck!

it is you that has to choose what you want to do, and where you want to be...cars can be sold, loans can be paid, and condo's at home don't have to be bought.

it depends on you, and also what she views as the big picture.

but she doesn't have to move to the usa...that seems like your requirement....might be a little inflexible, but it is your choice.

hope the best thing works out for you!

So what did she reply to your questions?

I guess a lot of people are facing the same dilemma. I agree with blueocean take your time get to know eachother and hopefully when the time comes either of you find find a solution that is good for the both of you.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Just wanted to ad that I am not talking to this woman anymore. However this is a dilema that I think a lot of people go through when dating women internationally. Its great because you can meet women that you are more compatable with and not just looking in your own city. If you compare it to business its like expanding your operation internationally instead of just doing business in your home country. The possibilities are endless! However eventually someone has to make the move. Otherwise it ends up being just a small pleasant time you had when you were in Thailand.

I think Vacanti is a little unrealistic when it comes to some things. You don't just pay school loans off in one day to meet someone you care for. (haha) I wish it was as simple as that! Sure I could sell my car and sell a condo but if you don't have much equity in those things then there is no use in selling them!

Any how I am a hopeless romantic and I will be in Thailand again in a couple of months. Who knows what can happen. I like to think that true love can happen any where and at any time! I wish everyone the best on this site!

:-) i didn't say pay off your loans in one day! i said they could be paid off ( i meant over time!)

and i didn't say sell the things just "to meet someone you care for" (that choice takes time)

as for the equity...the car isn't important...and the condo equity for something you said you haven't even bought yet??? you have no equity!!

and if you did, and wanted to retain it, then rent it out!

maybe i am unrealistic..lol...i have been guilty of that sometimes :-)

and also guilty of being a romantic (although not totally helpless :-)

anyway, you did the best thing according to your desires...that is what is important!

cheers!

If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

I agree with Vacanti. Quit paying the bills and besides who needs good credit when your living in Thailand.

Do you best...good luck (^^)