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I give up ….


soda

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this is a moment of truth, but anyhow my subconscious always keep telling me since late 2009 that this going to be end sooner or later which I already have plan B as to live single life. We never have a proper communication or perhaps a long distant turn us to be perfect strangers after 4-5 months passed. To compare relationship in the past on & off and relationship at present which once a year meet I couldn’t help to asked myself that, what is the different between these two?

I am bad at relationship and I never have real or solid relationship in my life but at least I’ve tried. I’m not regret of loving him and think he must’ve been loved me or at least he used to. I admitted this is my own choice and my own failure, that I want to be with someone for the rest of my life but at the same time I always realized that single life is suited me best.

I lied my parent that I’m not going abroad or any where out side Thailand but at the same time I’ve planed. Since I handed my application early Jan 2010 and I called them again when six weeks due and I told them that this is not make sense to let me wait for six week but never contact. A person who hold my application asked me if anyone contact me since then and I said, no, there is no one contact me and when I called they said wait to contact.

On Monday after I called the embassy they email me & cc him ask for more document support and I’ve email him if he could get some document for me and they asked to submit document by this coming Monday, but he kept silent since last Monday and up until now there is no news and I keep emailing him since Monday and today I heard nothing. I know I probably freak him out when he call on Valentines Day I told him if I didn’t get my visa then he should come and make other plan as some of my friends and cousin do then I think we should do it, and now I’m freaking. I try to make it simple for both of us because he wants me to go to his country and I’ve tried many ways but nothing I could do. I have never plan to go to other country and if I want to see I can buy documentary CDs. But the reason I want to go is because of he is there.

I’m hurting & disappointed but at least I know what I should focus to from now on. I must say I don’t know what to do and I feel like I have tried hard in everyway I can, but the result is turn out of event. I don’t angry or hate him and I will never ever because it is not his fault and it’s not mine as well. I understand that we never mean to be. I can’t reach him in a way I’ve tried and it’s beyond my power. He is my fantasy & from now on he is my legend.

I give up this isn’t for me I can't deal with it anymore and I’m so tired… I know I’m not ok….but I will be ….. …

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this is a moment of truth, but anyhow my subconscious always keep telling me since late 2009 that this going to be end sooner or later which I already have plan B as to live single life. We never have a proper communication or perhaps a long distant turn us to be perfect strangers after 4-5 months passed. To compare relationship in the past on & off and relationship at present which once a year meet I couldn’t help to asked myself that, what is the different between these two?

I am bad at relationship and I never have real or solid relationship in my life but at least I’ve tried. I’m not regret of loving him and think he must’ve been loved me or at least he used to. I admitted this is my own choice and my own failure, that I want to be with someone for the rest of my life but at the same time I always realized that single life is suited me best.

I lied my parent that I’m not going abroad or any where out side Thailand but at the same time I’ve planed. Since I handed my application early Jan 2010 and I called them again when six weeks due and I told them that this is not make sense to let me wait for six week but never contact. A person who hold my application asked me if anyone contact me since then and I said, no, there is no one contact me and when I called they said wait to contact.

On Monday after I called the embassy they email me & cc him ask for more document support and I’ve email him if he could get some document for me and they asked to submit document by this coming Monday, but he kept silent since last Monday and up until now there is no news and I keep emailing him since Monday and today I heard nothing. I know I probably freak him out when he call on Valentines Day I told him if I didn’t get my visa then he should come and make other plan as some of my friends and cousin do then I think we should do it, and now I’m freaking. I try to make it simple for both of us because he wants me to go to his country and I’ve tried many ways but nothing I could do. I have never plan to go to other country and if I want to see I can buy documentary CDs. But the reason I want to go is because of he is there.

I’m hurting & disappointed but at least I know what I should focus to from now on. I must say I don’t know what to do and I feel like I have tried hard in everyway I can, but the result is turn out of event. I don’t angry or hate him and I will never ever because it is not his fault and it’s not mine as well. I understand that we never mean to be. I can’t reach him in a way I’ve tried and it’s beyond my power. He is my fantasy & from now on he is my legend.

I give up this isn’t for me I can't deal with it anymore and I’m so tired… I know I’m not ok….but I will be ….. …

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Sorry to hear that, soda. Sometimes men don't like to do paperworks and lean to some other things instead. Whatever happens, you'd better think of things positively. If you belong together, it will be together, no matter what.

I understand your visa process can hurt you and keep you waiting. Believe it or not if you belong to live abroad and someone you love, you will belong to that. If not, you won't ever belong to that even though you've been trying hard. Take it easy, and think positively. You'll see how good it is and there are some other things to think of in your life.

Good luck with your partner and visa:)

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Hey Soda,

Getting the visa or not isn't a big deal. If it does affect your relationship with him, then it wasn't meant to be. Even if you were to go to his country, maybe you wouldn't be happy there.

Soda being happy is the most important thing...doesn't matter where you are ja.

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Again... the chances of a long distance relationship working for the long run are close to zero. Yes, some have made it. But for every one that has, there are 1000's who are left heartbroken and exhausted.

Why do people keep doing this to themselves?

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Agree with what Holly, JapAm and Marc all said. Things happen for a reason sodapop. It is not until after that we see what the reason was.

Long distance is wrong distance. Long distance require something special to work. I know I don't have that something special to make it work.

Wait n see what your man does, all is not lost, just yet....but if he is finding it all too hard then he should tell you so you can make your own plans.

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sorry that I dont believe in any 'if you belong to me' thingy...I only know that once you've got a life to live you gotta make it wise !!!!!!

Live your life wisely and happy with or without any man !!!!!!

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Another example where long distance creates uncomfortability and uncomfortable situations.

So far I have seen lots of long distance relationships from people I know and myself. Some seem to work depending on the length, but many of them fail in long term.

Thats why I don't recommend LDR if you are not the type that likes to suffer slow pain lol.

Try to focus on what is here and now, on what you can see with your own eyes, feel and touch with your own hands.

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They say distance makes the heart grow fonder........... I say distance makes the heart feel worse. As another BM stated, long distance relationships almost never work is a fact. The love and feelings only last so long until reality sets in. The distance of miles and time becomes just to much to bare for some. Now Soda, I am fairly new here but have gotten more involved on this site since I have moved here. There is an old saying in the US (I'm sure others have a similar one as well) If you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back it was never meant to be! If it does not work out, well TIME heals all wounds but can never erase the memories, you will just have to create NEW ones!!!!!!

BIG,

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Hehe...for my country dont need visa...or if need, its easy to get it...Sorry to hear that, but u have choice - keep tryin or give up..whatever u choose, it is your choice, and u must ask your heart what u choose....if this love is right one, love will win all boundaries...

Faraway from eyes - faraway from heart :(

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Women value good comunication either close or long distance relationship will not work without supporting each other emotionally , leaving her in doubt and tell no words then should leave her in peace .

I give half of my heart and the rest is to receive from his ...it wouldn't be too hard to bare with the long distance .

Big hugs for you my dear friend.

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There will always be the light at the end of tunnel you can give up anything but hope.

The song waiting someone to sing along make its meaningful one..

wait for the best..

Tomorrow will always come for the one who hope for it wait til your praying be answered

...............

you will never be alone.

Happiness it depends on you not anyone else if it s too much take a rest dear...

Tomorrow everything will be ok :)

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SODA

:(( sorry to hear that you feel like your are at a crossroads...

do all that you can do sincerely

...patients with those out of your controll ( the athorities, etc.)

...understandings with boundries with Mr. Kiwi... because both people

must work at it (not always equally)...whether next door or miles away....

By trying---- you will always satisfy yourself, and that is very important in life!

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Sometimes it is very difficult to meet the requirements to get the visa. If you were trying to get a fiancee visa to the USA, your future husband must show bank account at a high level, and that he has medical insurance for you, in order to get visa from Thai authorities. I'm not sure the requirements for going to New Zeland, but it sounds like similar requirements on his part. He simply might not be able to meet those requirements yet.

Don't give up. Don't let them beat you at this game. Keep fighting them, and eventually you both will win.

For USA visa one year is the average waiting time, with some longer.

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