Tiger should change his name to "Lion Cheetah"

I don't know what set her off... All Tiger said was "Rachel has a much a

tighter grip."

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

Tigers Attorneys issued the following statement: "Mr. Woods would like

to take a mulligan."

That's the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards

Tiger Woods finally released a statement today and admitted he did have

an on going affair with at least one hottie . " I regret those

Transgenders with all my heart ." ..... Later he went on to say " I'm

glad I am a golf pro instead of a baseball player because that *****

would have killed me with my own bat ! "

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree ... he couldn't

decide between a wood and an iron.

Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver

Tiger woods is the holder of 15 majors --14 golf majors and one major

f-ck up

I find it's a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can't see the

Woods for the trees.

The crack investigative reporters at TMZ have reported the shocking

rumor that Tiger was in a foursome while in the Open.

Tiger's wife went for him over a birdie.

Tiger Woods changed his name today to ***** Willows

What was the second worst part of Tiger's car accident? The police found

the driver in the trunk.

I think Tiger Woods could have prevented his troubles with his pretty

blonde wife if he'd just had a little OJ that morning!

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?

They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods had some lacerations on his lip when he crashed his car the

day after Thanksgiving... He claimed it's self-inflicted and normal for

golfers.. stating, "I always make cuts on Friday"..

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a

ball 400 yards.

Hey, maybe Tiger Woods isn't all that great a golfer. Seems like he

spends a lot of time getting caught in the bushes.

New Nike "TW" hat........$25

New Nike Golf Shoes......$125

New Cadillac Escalade....$60,000

New Nike Iron, wrapped around your head by jealous wife... PRICELESS ! !

That's an awful steep price Tiger paid to coax his wife to hand over his

seven iron.

Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement.

According to the new contract, the next time Tiger plays a round, Elin

will hand him his balls.

There are unsubstantiated reports that Tiger Woods' wife is pregnant.

It seems that Tiger had another accident while pulling out.

Most sports advocates believe Tiger Woods' incident with his wife will

actually improve his golf game.

"...Let's face it; when you get hit in the head with a seven iron, you

are going to see a lot of birdies...."

Tiger's troubles started early today, where, on only his second ho, he

drove through a water hazard and into the trees.

Don't you think it's suspicious that all of the sudden Phil Michelson

thinks it's a great idea to install fire hydrants on all major golf

courses?

What is the difference between Elin and Tiger? While both are *******

who swing golf clubs, there is an extra hole in one, and fresh driver

dings on the other.

Suddenly becoming a "golf widow" might not be such a terrible fate if

you're in Elin Nordegren's position.

Tiger Woods learned an important lesson last week: always let your

caddie choose your driver.

When asked by a counsellor what led him to stray off course in his

marriage, Tiger responded: "Well, it's the old adage my Daddy taught me

I suppose, 'the green always looks grassier on the other side of the

fairway'".

What did Tiger Woods' wife do with the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving

dinner? She made him a club sandwich.

This is one of the few holes the great Tiger Woods regrets playing!

Tiger Woods pulls out of tournament...It was so much easier than pulling

out of his driveway.

When asked what drove her to chase her husband out of the house at 2:30

AM swinging a golf club at his head, ultimately causing him to crash

headlong into a tree, leaving him bleeding and unconscious, prostrate on

the curb, Elin Nordegren's answer was surprisingly mundane.

"I didn't want to become a golf widow!".

Tiger's Neighbor Speaks - When as about what he had seen, Tiger's

neighbor said: All I know is that I ain't seen anybody swing a golf club

that hard with a running start since Happy Gilmore!

In case you had any doubt as to whether Tiger Woods was part Asian, his

recent car accident should finally convince you.

It has been rumored that after 3 years of continuous play; Tiger Woods

can no longer play the 19th hole after each golf tournament. If he does,

he must take a four-play stroke penalty, drop 2 balls and pay $5 million

dollars to his wife.

Elin's suspicions aroused when...Tiger kept getting texts mentioning "my

favorite 9 wood with the extra thick shaft" from anonymous "golfing

buddies".

There is no "9" wood, as any true golfer knows.

FOR SALE one used golf club, use to be my favorite iron. helped me win

the master's and the open. twice. slightly bent with several what appear

to be teeth marks. NEED TO SELL, ASAP! WILL SHIP ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.

JUST PLEASE! GET IT OUT OF HERE!!!

When asked how the recent car accident/beat down had affected his

playing ability, tiger said, "well, my long game is still pretty good. i

just need to focus on getting my putz down."

Tiger Comments on Assistant Caddy: "Relax, guys, Steve Williams is still

my main caddy and always will be. Babette here is just along to pick out

a good club from time to time and help polish my woods afterwards.".

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

Norwegian? I thought Elin was swedish and I'm not sure if swedes kill cute and lovely baby seals

^ Right indeed, and they don't.

Was Tiger taking Nike's words too literally, when he jumped the fence and screwed that other woman? Just Do It.

That was awesome, thanks for that!

Definitely saving this one.

I have been reaching for some of these with golfing buddies but we were nowhere near able to put together something as long as this. these are great! brilliant.