what life is?? This question have been run around my head since

I studied bachelor degree.I am always doubful towards life

.Everything happens for a reason or no reason based reason!!??. What people

get from what we have learned depens on what kind of your own

views or even experience you have exposed all your life.Up to this poitn ,

I need my life to be valuable simply thing. Just , I have

to figure it out later HOW? I guess , the good thing to start is to focus on what I feel first

, and believemy instinct. They never lie me once. That what I found today

from discussion about job with other chiefs of other departments in order

to get the best sulution for " a report which NO ONE in the company

is willing to do the job. What I felt? Of course I am scared to death since

this report was my job for almost 4 months, but I set the meeting to clarify how

can we deal with risk about this job.Without my boss,I can't make

this meeting kinda sucessful because

every department know exactly what I am doing for " your own sake".

Recall the situation...Do my best to hide my feeling from ppl.. how much I scared.

If it were failed.I would do this job forever without "any big ones" in the conpany know.

I do my best not to talk with emotional based discussion...OK.

tired again. but atleast I feel good and relieve now.

But I still wanna quit though!! it is kinda boring now......

.look back when one who are 25 ....agrued with

ppl around 40...*sigh* It is chalengeing.. I didn't denied.. but HEYYYY I am not ready to fight yet!.

End for now.

if u really want to understand life, you should get out more. Take some risks, experience things. Its nothing to do with money, career or logic. These are just illusions and distractions. Life is an experiential thing; you cant learn it from books etc. You cant drive a car by just reading the manual.

I don't know really what risks I should take...Anyway... this week , I have medical leaves for 3 days already.

and yeah today too!! Oh my dear boss LOL