What's going on?
After a long period of works and works and works
Try to find a place for myself in this big big world
It has been … a decade now…
I feel old and exhausted…
Where am I in this world?
Have I grow up…?
What am I doing now that actually difference from the past 10 years?
I’m still going to the theatre…
I’m still working with very same troop.
I even have new job in fields other than theatre.
I have many new friends, load of new acquaintances.
Still…I talk to no one.
I haven’t written a journal, actually I haven’t written anything for a long time.
(Except for a column in a fashion mag here, this doesn’t mean much to me in spiritual way)
Worse than that… I don’t even talk to myself anymore…
I could say that I have grown up in many ways.
I work for the sake of work and getting paid…sometimes.
I work for the sake of satisfaction and pay for it…sometimes.
At least I learn now how to do the first part.
I haven’t written… one of all the reasons…pop up in my head.
Who cares?
I mean how many of you guys actually pay attention on what’s other bragging about their life
which has nothing to do with you and has no effect in your life whatsoever.
I didn’t find my journal to be entertaining.
Even tho what I do for a living is entertaining people in the range of one to thousands people.
I have to admit I got some pleasure out of it, and seem to be enough.
When it comes to journals or blogging, I prefer something difference.
I write… most of the time… out of desperation.
Many of things I wrote poured out with tears.
Sometimes…this makes me feel like I take anybody who reading my things for granted.
I don’t want to.
Bad excuse for not writing, not talking to anyone and disappearing from many things isn’t it?
I know…
Too much of alcohol and confusion, this should be all for today.
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