The minute that she's decided to investigate on her husband, the relationship is ended right there.

Get it over with, get a divorce. There is no reason to live with someone you can't trust.

There are always many sides to any situation. You seem to only have her side.

Your answer to her is best I think. Just be there to listen as a friend, since only he and her has the whole picture and real truths.

As to your question, don't get married to anyone you cannot trust 100% and love completely. It seems your friend neither trusted or loved her man 100%, and now she is paying the price for her choices.

she said maybe it's for the best as she doesn't really love her husband that much ...... amazing .... why did she get married in the first place?

Pandorea, at this stage she told me today that she just want to be left alone so she can have time to think whether she still want this marriage or not.

Peemarc, yes I only have her side of the story as I don't talk much with the husband. She told me before the wedding that she's not 100% wanted to marry the guy but she did eventually. I guess she likes the idea of getting married and being married to someone.

yes... i stupidly and naively married a girl a long time ago who wanted to get married for the experience and idea of it. And, my last gf was with me mainly for the 'farang experience'. It is devastating to finally realise this. This stupidity and selfish behaviour destroys lives. Real life isn't the same as comics and TV dramas.

"it's for the best as she doesn't really love her husband that much"

sounds like sour grapes.

also sounds like something someone would say just after learning their husband had committed an infidelity.

If divorce made my life happier, I would do.

Marriage is just a form of legal relationship. It's substance that matters. She should get a divorce if she's not happy. Divorce doesn't make any one a damaged goods.

Well Peemarc, I hope you will find the person whose not only want 'farang experience' and want to get married for the experience and idea of it.

Pjack, that was exactly what she told me but I think if she didn't find out about this infidelity divorce would be the last thing on her mind.

Absentee, I don't think to make her life happier would be the best reason to get a divorce, it should be more than that.

i would divorce for sure! there is no trust anymore

but everyone should decide for their own, let her think about it and follow her feeling

very intensive investigations seem to be a quite common nowadays. But still it seems a pretty disgusting thing to me when it comes to marriage. On what basis is such a marriage ? It cant be trust however.They should not have married at all.

I'm having a far more difficult time deciding if I should have a Monteiths Lager (world winner) after 3 x glassaes of red wine and knowing it's bed time while logged onto Tf and realising I have to wake at 7am......no question...I WILL drink the beer.....but there are so many similarities in the choices available in both your friends scenario and mine.......grab the nearest coin and toss it.....even if my lover had sex with another man...I would still have another beer....regardless......

Thinking out loud tonight......

love without trust can not be love ...

maybe she just get sad and say she dont love him?

I would ask if he's still in touch with that woman, if yes then I will ask that will he stop seeing her? Then it will close the case in either way, if not (it just slipped off once thing) then I will stay in relationship.. oh well, if I love him, I would stay just like that. I dont walk away from anyone, I'm too weak to do so.

she should go out and get laid by a perfect stranger and then come home and admit it after and intense investigation...lol

get divorce and move on. sorry, thats the onlly one solution. :-(

If I were you. Yes, i ll do the same as you be there to listen my friend.

But if I get married with someone and he slept with a girl before married me 1 month and also not keep intouch with her anymore.

I will forgive him and I ll think ..atleast he picked me up from many girls that he dated with and he must do the best for his life as I do. But if he slept with some girl or that girl after married. I ll quiz with him for sure incase no kids.

Honestly, I had been searching around for a nice guy to marry me

I also had been thinking about wanna marry last year, with a guy that ready and love me because I just feel lonly and want someone to support my emotion and take care for each other. I had been spending time with him almost 6 months as bf-gf first. And after that I realized that I can not love him even I tried. He is a nice guy and really love me. If I ask him to come and see me any time , he will come.

I thought I love him, because the way he treat me. And he a nice guy. But In deeply I knew we are different. We dont have same interesting. And I asked many people, mom ,dad,friends..should be marry with him or not.

Untill I got answer to my self..If I wanna marry him , Why I have to ask many people for answer?

I must say "Yes"

I think your friend will know answer for her self and do her best for her life.

Anyway when she come down ,she must discuss with her husband incase she cant forget it.

And he ll give nice word to make her trust him again. And It will be better.

Perhaps love is : forgive,trust,support,same interest,same attitude and understanding

also find someone love me as who i am.

And I still be poor single girl. Because too much selective the best for my life..

Almost 30 already!! Aghrrrrrrrrrrrr

Magnificent theories......you have to love that........xxx