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they are laughing


trocks69

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they are laughing once again. this time they sent Eros to shoot his arrows into my heart. its been 18 months since i was divorced. when i meet this girl i did not want a relationship just some fun which was what it was at first then things turned serious. strange enough i was OK with this also. i got use to her being there when i got home and awoke in the mornings. we had a easy life and things were fun. only small silly arguments that did not amount to much. hell we both knew i was leaving soon that i would be taking a job in Saudi Arabia.4493-Valentine-Cupid-Boy-Shooting-L.jpghere's the hard part the real bummer. we had a real stupid fight almost 3 weeks ago. it was mostly my fault, hell it was my fault. i left got my stuff and said its over i need to go on a trip anyway am done. during that week long trip i realized one thing i was in love with this little girl and i really do mean in love. the gods got restless.got a call from Saudi Arabia job is canceled. great i can make up with the girlfriend and we can get serious after all am in love with her. she wont talk to me, doesn't want any thing to do with me. i did something i have never done before...**** i fall apart.....what the hell is that about. i have never ever had anyone effect me like this hell. 2nd week of break up am a mess cant sleep get only 1 to 3 hours a night it effects me in meetings all that week...cant sleep during the weekend either. get a call on Saturday morning last week. almost did not answer because i had only been asleep 2 hours. its Saudi the job is back on. good maybe my life will get better.Nope. i talk to her on Sunday try and make things right. this should fix my sleep problems. damm she just wants to try and be friends. i want more......that night the gods are dancing on my head and heart laughing only get 3 hours of sleep. meetings all day Monday am a zombie the gods are having fits of ecstasy over my suffering. I'll fix them tonight i have the pills and means to sleep. 2 codeine's and 2 muscle relaxers and one beer at 11 pm and i will sleep like the dead....WRONG!!!!! the gods are in fits of laughter completely tear jerking laughter ..1 fing hour of sleep what the hell 1 hourmeetings am there brain does not function. people ask me questions i wonder what language they are speaking and who they are. am a zombie that wants to eat their brains to get them to shut up.Brain_Eating_Zombie_Bunny_by_nikowa.jpg i find a peace of her hair on my shirt. i almost breakdown in the conference room. by the time am home am a complete wreck. i cant function. i remember calling her at one point and we actually start to talk a little she agrees to dinner on Wednesday. i pass out at 7:50 pm on the sofa. i stay there till 9 am with out waking. am a corpse a dead rotting thing on the sofa. o hell late for work and more meetings. i get a round of cheers and clapping when i do show up 2 hours late. We talk we make up kind of i actually sleep again. Wow. sounds like i beat the gods i bet that's what your thinking but you forgot they still have a joke on the table. the job offer its ssitting there like a small iceberg floating on the ocean. but what kind of hell is underneath. for those of you that read what i thought would be a short self pitying rant. sorry longer then i thought. heres the issue am having. She cant go with me to Saudi Arabia. i wont really be coming back to the states enough to continue a relationship with her if i take the job.                simple decision right pick love. wish it was that simple. the job puts me closer to my angels. i will be able to see them more.DSC00837.jpgit pays almost 3 times more then i make now in actual pay and benefits. its the biggest challenge that i have ever come across and i believe that i am up to it.I LOVE her though...........the god laugh at my sufferingi think this is what a god looks like. evil little buggers with evil laughs 
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they are laughing once again. this time they sent Eros to shoot his arrows into my heart. its been 18 months since i was divorced. when i meet this girl i did not want a relationship just some fun which was what it was at first then things turned serious. strange enough i was OK with this also. i got use to her being there when i got home and awoke in the mornings. we had a easy life and things were fun. only small silly arguments that did not amount to much. hell we both knew i was leaving soon that i would be taking a job in Saudi Arabia.4493-Valentine-Cupid-Boy-Shooting-L.jpghere's the hard part the real bummer. we had a real stupid fight almost 3 weeks ago. it was mostly my fault, hell it was my fault. i left got my stuff and said its over i need to go on a trip anyway am done. during that week long trip i realized one thing i was in love with this little girl and i really do mean in love. the gods got restless.got a call from Saudi Arabia job is canceled. great i can make up with the girlfriend and we can get serious after all am in love with her. she wont talk to me, doesn't want any thing to do with me. i did something i have never done before...**** i fall apart.....what the hell is that about. i have never ever had anyone effect me like this hell. 2nd week of break up am a mess cant sleep get only 1 to 3 hours a night it effects me in meetings all that week...cant sleep during the weekend either. get a call on Saturday morning last week. almost did not answer because i had only been asleep 2 hours. its Saudi the job is back on. good maybe my life will get better.Nope. i talk to her on Sunday try and make things right. this should fix my sleep problems. damm she just wants to try and be friends. i want more......that night the gods are dancing on my head and heart laughing only get 3 hours of sleep. meetings all day Monday am a zombie the gods are having fits of ecstasy over my suffering. I'll fix them tonight i have the pills and means to sleep. 2 codeine's and 2 muscle relaxers and one beer at 11 pm and i will sleep like the dead....WRONG!!!!! the gods are in fits of laughter completely tear jerking laughter ..1 fing hour of sleep what the hell 1 hourmeetings am there brain does not function. people ask me questions i wonder what language they are speaking and who they are. am a zombie that wants to eat their brains to get them to shut up.Brain_Eating_Zombie_Bunny_by_nikowa.jpg i find a peace of her hair on my shirt. i almost breakdown in the conference room. by the time am home am a complete wreck. i cant function. i remember calling her at one point and we actually start to talk a little she agrees to dinner on Wednesday. i pass out at 7:50 pm on the sofa. i stay there till 9 am with out waking. am a corpse a dead rotting thing on the sofa. o hell late for work and more meetings. i get a round of cheers and clapping when i do show up 2 hours late. We talk we make up kind of i actually sleep again. Wow. sounds like i beat the gods i bet that's what your thinking but you forgot they still have a joke on the table. the job offer its ssitting there like a small iceberg floating on the ocean. but what kind of hell is underneath. for those of you that read what i thought would be a short self pitying rant. sorry longer then i thought. heres the issue am having. She cant go with me to Saudi Arabia. i wont really be coming back to the states enough to continue a relationship with her if i take the job.                simple decision right pick love. wish it was that simple. the job puts me closer to my angels. i will be able to see them more.DSC00837.jpgit pays almost 3 times more then i make now in actual pay and benefits. its the biggest challenge that i have ever come across and i believe that i am up to it.I LOVE her though...........the god laugh at my sufferingi think this is what a god looks like. evil little buggers with evil laughs 
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hmmm.... no money , mean no ticket to fly to go see your baby. if you dont have love for the one you are with , then where is the happines??? I dont know.. for me? I would say its depend on the situation, I need money to take care of my girl but i have to be away from her for work to bring money for food , clothes and etc...So i guess you cant eat love, and I guess you cant live without money either!

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i have money now but i cant take the time as much to see them 33 hour flight to see them...from saudi arabia its only a 10 hour flight...plus more money.... but i still love the girl here. i think i know my decision anyway...my kids come first

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