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Married with Divorce Man


Unny

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    Just talk to my P' Sao (Someone that i respect her as my Sister) on the Phone. she back to Thailand now for 2 weeks, She just has her wedding party in Australia a few month ago..  In that time when i knew that she will get marry.I was so happy for her, that finally she  have someone that really love her and care about her.. But since she came back and told me the story about her life in Aus...Thats.... hmmm.... make me feel upset.  ..She lives with her husband in Melbourne.but every weekend, her husband 'kids will come to stay with them,( Oh yes. her husband just divorce from his ex-wife,Coz she has a love affair ) about the kids.. yes, Farang kids always look cute. They re 15 yrs and 6 yrs, cute lil girl and boy.(as i saw in her photos.).., but as P Sao told me... they re not that cute. They re so like a monkey, They do nothing. when they come to visit her and her husband.when they with  their daddy and P Sao, they be so cute and nice children, but when they with just only P Sao , they change,...... Once P' Sao said. 'Lets wash our dishes after we ate,,,,, and then they cry,,, and tell his daddy that P Sao want them to wash those dishes.....???? What the heck///// just wash the dish// is that so hard???   Her husband understand this, so he told his kids,'if you dont wanna wash those dishes, you just put them back in the basket... ..they do it,,,  but after daddy go out, they called to their mom,and told mom that" they have such a hard life here, have to wash the dishes,put the dishes in basket... bla bla. For me i think, mayb their parent spoiled them too much. They cant do anything. even the girl.when she has period.. Just imagine the panties dirty with her period,and she let P 'Sao wash her panties...:????????

  I heard this kind of story.. For me its like  some Soap Opera story  in Thailand.. But it really Happen...  Nothing i can advice her... Coz i never marry,and never have children..all i can say just, You need to talk with your husband,and kids, make it right... Now she feel like shes a Housekeeping or some maid in her own house  

What should I say??

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    Just talk to my P' Sao (Someone that i respect her as my Sister) on the Phone. she back to Thailand now for 2 weeks, She just has her wedding party in Australia a few month ago..  In that time when i knew that she will get marry.I was so happy for her, that finally she  have someone that really love her and care about her.. But since she came back and told me the story about her life in Aus...Thats.... hmmm.... make me feel upset.  ..She lives with her husband in Melbourne.but every weekend, her husband 'kids will come to stay with them,( Oh yes. her husband just divorce from his ex-wife,Coz she has a love affair ) about the kids.. yes, Farang kids always look cute. They re 15 yrs and 6 yrs, cute lil girl and boy.(as i saw in her photos.).., but as P Sao told me... they re not that cute. They re so like a monkey, They do nothing. when they come to visit her and her husband.when they with  their daddy and P Sao, they be so cute and nice children, but when they with just only P Sao , they change,...... Once P' Sao said. 'Lets wash our dishes after we ate,,,,, and then they cry,,, and tell his daddy that P Sao want them to wash those dishes.....???? What the heck///// just wash the dish// is that so hard???   Her husband understand this, so he told his kids,'if you dont wanna wash those dishes, you just put them back in the basket... ..they do it,,,  but after daddy go out, they called to their mom,and told mom that" they have such a hard life here, have to wash the dishes,put the dishes in basket... bla bla. For me i think, mayb their parent spoiled them too much. They cant do anything. even the girl.when she has period.. Just imagine the panties dirty with her period,and she let P 'Sao wash her panties...:????????

  I heard this kind of story.. For me its like  some Soap Opera story  in Thailand.. But it really Happen...  Nothing i can advice her... Coz i never marry,and never have children..all i can say just, You need to talk with your husband,and kids, make it right... Now she feel like shes a Housekeeping or some maid in her own house  

What should I say??

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im once married to american man who had two children ( teenager)...

From what i read...it was something that happened to me also...take me almost a year to won thier heart..i can feel your P sao Really!....give her a hug for me...and tell her...I wanna cheer her up!

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Oh no.....the stereotype backfired!

Sounds like Daddy needs to put a foot in some little butts. That'll solve that problem. I've got no problem being the bad guy in the family setting when it comes to the kids.

That's an easy fix. The Daddy becomes the bad guy and P'Sao takes on the role of loving, comforting savior.

It works. I've seen it a dozen times. But it only works if the father has a set of nuts.

I had the same problem when I moved in with a gal who had a spoiled child. That relationship did not start out as a long distance thing. And we still had those problems. Could it be that most problems facing couples are fairly universal no matter where or when the relationship originates?

Could maturity and open communication solve most of these problems?

Stay tuned for the answer. Same Bat Channel. Same Bat Time.

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i am not so sure, kids play, or its easy for the kids, live in a situation like that, looks like its a difficult situation for all, and just time and support from her husband can help.

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kids are like monkeys no matter what country they live in. they know all the tricks such as playing one parent against the other and its worse when there is divorce involved. so, yes, the husband has to offer more support to his partner and not take any **** from the kids. and the partner has to understand that things aren't going to change unless there is a lot of love and understanding. the fact that there is a teenage daughter involved makes the problem even more trickier. best of luck to your friend. ;)

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It all comes down to the kids not accepting someone else in their fathers life. Kids don't get it until they are older or until they gain respect for the step parent through time. If he wants the children to respect his wife he has to respect her himself. If he shows respect and sticks up for her when he instructs the kids to do something then the kids will do it. As long as he lets his kids play them off each-other he will make things worse.

A bit of tough love for the kids will go along way for their future.

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All of this is tricky. But husbands and wives have to be consistant with kids any then support each other

And the parents (the ex & Dad) "should also; which also helps out "new Mom " in her role

Limited custody Dad maybe does not want to be the Bad guy --only sees them less, loves them , and wants their's in return... but kid's need boundries and the security of their world. Good that your friend and Dad have talked --IMHO he needs to call a family meeting ....New Mom needs your help sometime and she going to help you too etc...

Split parenting can confuse Kids (see above) ...teen years...Dad's new wife and have they become second class for him...takes time to accept the life changing & when their Parents divorced that surely upset them.

Takes time...24/7 life is a lot harder than one hour SOAP...sounds like your friend "sees" "things clearly.

Good luck to her

of course you could loan out Dave :))

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I think this will be a difficult situation to fix. The kids have a learned behavior. They know how to take advantage of their parents. The parents have a learned behavior in how they deal with the kids. They allow the kids to get away with being lazy and not responsible.

Your friend is trying to change this. It is not going to be easy. She is going against years of 'training'. And I doubt that her new husband is going to do much about this. He was/is comfortable with the situation.

I appreciate what your friend is trying to do, and I wish her the best of luck.

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To me it sounds like the parents or at leat one of them, used the kids to score points when they were divorcing.

Now the kids are using the parents to get what they want by trading one against the other.

Tell your friend to be firm and dont back down or let the kids get away with anything.

Once the kids realise they cant bully her they will settle down as long as her new husband backs her up.

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I kind of feel sorry for her, but in the end, you make your own nest to live in, and if you make it with a guy who's been married before, has kids, and live thousands of miles away from your family, then thats your own tough luck...

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it's the same story for a women who live in Holland and i met her when i took Dutch class and she told me that she hate her husband's kids and she was not happy and comfortable when her husband's kids had to stay with them during the weekend then she said i will never get marriage again with a guy who have kids that is NOT over 18 years old and their mom only want money more and more from my husband! Sad story

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