I have an update on my last blog and a new story to share. I think being in Thailand is going to change me. My heart is becoming calloused.

"Pixie" recently started working for me. I met her through a friend "Ms Kitty" who recommended her. Pixie is educated, very smart and has a great vibe. She speaks excellent English was earning a great wage working as a librarian. She took a wrong turn in life when she fell in love with a looser farang who, physically and emotionally abused her, leached all her money and left her pregnant. Since Pixie can't work a normal job, she is a great fit for my company. I don't have an office, so she can work from anywhere, any time and at her own pace. The job I offered her is very flexible and would work great with her condition.

While I was training her we became friends. Pixie told me horror stories about her past relationship that made me flinch and I have a strong stomach. I am under the impression that the only way to deal with this guy is to cut off his nuts.

Ms Kitty just came back to town with her boyfriend and the four of us were supposed to hang out. When I got to the meeting spot Ms Kitty who knows me well warned me that I should have "jai yen yen". Pixie is hanging out with her ex, and brought him with her. I had to suppress the urge to beat him to death with his own shoe. After all that he has done to her, how can she look at him and not feel disgust? I am not sure how to handle this situation; for me her stories are poignant... and elicit a reaction. Seeing this made my heart sink. I guess it's not my problem, you can't rape the willing.

Any advice on how to feel about this?

In other news. Monkey sent me an email it explained that she found out he wasn't cheating on her and she overreacted. They are still broken up, but he took her to Samet to make it up to her (and probably get some free ass). She offered to pay me the 300 baht back. I told her to save the money for the next disaster, because I am not going to be there.

It all makes sense but I'm emotionally drained.

its ok vlad, still better then to be in kievs parlament, they are more crazy ;-)

some Thai girls still use the same old story to..... (depends on their motives)... get money, a quick shag, attention, etc.

stories like

- can't pay her tuition fee

- can't afford text books

- worn out student uniforms

- no money to visit sick parents up north

- lost mobile, mobile has no signal

- ex'es cheated on her, lied to her, stole her money blahh

- sick but no money to visit a doc

- casual depression (with no reason) but need someone to be there

- lost/forgotten wallet, ID card.

- it's her dream to have __(objects)____.

- parents kicked her out, no place to live. No money to buy food.

etc.

These are what I have been hearing from foreigners these past 11 years.

drama lama strikes back

as from now, you are officially the male Soda

soap opera modus operandi!

vlad maybe ur being too good to them?

@fontok - I'd end up BLUE lol or Orange!

@dr - i dont think she wants anything from me. maybe just someone to listen.

@SB - no its the revenge of the lama

@gee - I did steal her naming convention

@Q - All I do is listen, but maybe I should stop

I just don't get it...these girls realize they were with a loser and then go back with them, yet there are millions of great guys out there. Maybe it is the great guys don't want to deal with all their drama and thus the only choice for these girls are the losers they were with.

Didn't I hear your phone ring and you have to leave the group, including that loser, to help someone out? Text your friend to call you and then he calls you...that is your out.

Some people would love to feel free and feel safe to tell someone and listening to them, understand them. Some people thinking diffirent also.Some thinking from the heart and some thinking from the brain.

Most of woman thinking from her heart first.

Keep it coming I'll become your fan now

I hate to say this Vlad but to some degree you have to become calloused to the sob stories. There's a certain gal (I won't mention her name) that has a farang boyfriend that is a total ass. I wanted to beat him senseless before I even knew he was her bf just because he was that much of an ass. I've seen other guys come close to beating his ass too. He's just one of those people who nobody likes.

His gf has done everything for him. When he's out of work she supports him (which is way too often). He disrespects her in public. He is emotionally abusive towards her. I've seen bruises on her on several occasions which were clearly put there by him but she refuses to admit it. Blah, blah, blah. You know the story.

I know several of her close girlfriends too. And it's amazing how no matter how badly she f*cks up. No matter how many times she breaks up with this guy and then screws her friends over and runs back to him, they stick by her. Her friends have spent thousands of baht helping her rent her own apartments when she said (again and again) "This time it's for real, I'm never going back," and yet a week later she's back with him and her friends are out the cash they paid for the apartment. Worse, is they've given her money before so she could get out of town or whatever and when she goes back to this loser she gives him their money because he's usually broke and can't take care of himself.

Drama just seems to be a way of life for some people. This particular gal, her friends tell me she also had n abusive Thai bf before him. It's not just Thais though, I've had many friends (male and female) who can't seem to survive unless they're on the verge of some huge emotional crisis.

Her friends are enablers. They are there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, money, a place to stay, etc but if she ever ran out of shoulders I'm sure she would dump this loser. I keep trying to tell her friends that they're not helping her by helping her. They're making it easier for her to stay with him because whenever it becomes too much they welcome her and support her until she's ready for more drama.

To some degree, I feel like I know her better than her best friends. They told me she went back to her home village and was going to stay there for three months (and borrowed money from them to go back home). I laughed my ass off and said there's no way she lasts 2 weeks. One week later she was back in BKK broke and asking them for cash to hold her over until she got a job. Then she told her friends she was going to get out of BKK and take a job, get her own place, etc outside of BKK (and she needed more money for that). Again, I laughed and told her friends there was no way that was happening. Yesterday she told her friends that her deadbeat boyfriend was moving into her 4000 baht a month apartment with her because he couldn't afford to keep his own place. Bingo!

My advice is . . . when someone tells you something like that (about the ex) keep your distance (emotionally). It serves absolutely no purpose bashing the guy physically or wanting to bash the guy because, just like an alcoholic or drug addict, she's never going to seek anything better until she realizes she's hit rock bottom.

All that's going to happen is that you're going to spend valuable emotional cycles giving a shit about someone who doesn't give a shit about themselves.

Blya... prochital obe chasti... nelegko tebe... chesno ne znau cho tebe posovetovat, opita net

Prosta poderzhivau tebya...

Very well put Admin.

Also, if she was an employee of mine, I wouldnt feel comfortable getting to know the ins and outs of her personal life, because then she can play on your emotions when things go from bad to worse.

@primetime - same here.

@Chanapa - guess you are right. girls use their hearts... If she used her brain she'd walk away.

@sugar_husk - you already got a fan! j/k hope my next blog is a happy one

@admin - best advice I've heard. I think you are on to something. i will heed it

@vitka - spasibo

@teddy - you are right too. But I did meet her as a friend 1st the job idea just kinda came up.

Stories from the friend zone.

The problems your talking about in your journals are not ones of logic so I'm not sure why you're trying to logically explain to her why she should leave him, women will naturally be attracted to men who lead them, whether its to places they want to or should go is another story.

I have similar issues with some friends, male and female. Hard for me to be friendly to some and I am civil but distant. Best to keep out of others relationships. Not easy sometimes and i make my feelings known to my friends if it seems they aren't aware how much their relationship sucks. If the person is well aware the person is an a**hole then its definitely hard to be around.

Bill, well said indeed.

"Pixie" and "Ms Kitty" sound like children storybook characters. Have you decided to write children storybooks Vlad??????

It just what I think of them when I see them, Initially I wrote My friends and her friends and what not... But then it was confusing and boring. So i gave them names like Soda does. I don't think it sounds like children book names, more like porn star names... but it's what they remind me of.

Ms Kitty is strong and independent, perfect fusion of western and eastern worlds. The only draw back is she has a short attention span for men and is terrified of commitment or surrendering to a feeling. She reminds me of a cat smart, independent and self absorbed.

Pixie is fragile and kinda bobbing. It doesn't seem like she has a ground to stand on but goes where the wind takes her. Lacking a strong father figure in her life she seeks it out in the wrong people. Maybe she's more like a humming bird. That's why I named them that.

interesting story ja keep comming up

old saying - but it always takes two..

So why is it mostly the bad guys having the stunners ? Why are women often attracted to ar*eholes, bikers, outlaws, pornmakers or drug addicts ?

Because some bad guys dont hold back to be different, but dare to be even in public, they play with their dark appearance, outlaw attitude whatsoever, and some women are very much prone to these guys.Even if they get real about them and leave them or separate, they are very much likely to miss them after a short period of time.

They just want to fall back into their old habits, because a normal life without deviations doesnt suit them anymore. In some way your friends are very much like drug addicts.

i have enough to worry about with my own life, my daughter and family without getting hung up on the problems of girls with no brains, low self esteem, no self respect or whatever !!!

maybe u just need to take a step back and let them sort it out themselves !!

and if they keep going back to these losers/abusers u r just wasting ur time/money/effort/energy trying to convince them otherwise !!!