1. A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator with a man. They both noticed he had some dandruff on his shirt, but were too nice to say anything to him about it.  When he finally got out two floors later, the brunette said, "Wow, somebody should give that man some Head n Shoulders" and the blonde replied, "How do you give him shoulders?"

2. A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.  After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, she shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.  Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "****, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

3. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.  The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.  The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

4. A blonde went to a flying school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.  He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.  After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."  After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, then watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan..."

5. A blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions.  She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within a half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.  During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately flipping the coin, swearing and sweating.  The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.  She replied, "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, I’m rechecking my answers!!"

6. One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says, "I'd like to buy this TV".  He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".  The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.  Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses again for the same reason.  She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"  He replied  “That's a microwave."

Great ones! Thanks for sharing!

some of those jokes are older than you mate!! Have a great Xmas!! : )

Hahaha.Iain cracks me up sometimes.

very good