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Big girl want 2 cry…

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soda

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11.01.10 at 09.01 AM I’m at the NZ consulate and I’m a first applicant. The receptionist look through my applications and:

Receptionist: you have to wait 6 weeks for your visa approval.

Me: why is taking so long?

Receptionist: 1 you are never travel oversea before

Me: I’ve been to Abu Dhabi before as a business trip.

Receptionist: that’s doesn’t count, and the 2 you apply for visitor visa while your invitation letter say you both in serious relationship as a boyfriend, girl friend, right?

Me: Yes, and?

Receptionist: why don’t you do sponsorship visa is easier to get approved.

Me: I don’t need sponsor, I want a visitor visa and I have copies of bank statements and other docs.

Receptionist: do you talk to each other by phone often?

Me: Yes, and mostly by email exchange.

Receptionist: do you have picture taken together to show us?

Me: Yes, I have, but No, I won’t show you, because it’s inappropriate. Its personal pic-tures..

(She looks at me while I’m saying “personal pic†but I turn my face away to avoid eyes contact.)

Me: is it possible that I can get visa approved sooner.

Receptionist: it depends on how soon your boyfriend can provides us his information. Wait until you get contact by us.

I’m abit disappointed while I’m taking bts home to get my sandals replace my high heel because it is killing me. Thinking of 6 weeks to get visa it is really frustrate me I have planned to see ADCD concert in Auckland on Feb 04, 2010 and I will miss even Valentines Day.

10.15 AM. At work I’m abit despond and thought, maybe mom doesn’t want me to go that’s why it’s so difficult. I’m talking with dad & mom the night before I handed visa application.

Me: Dad, I’m thinking maybe I take a trip oversea.

Dad: why?

Me: I go to a man

Dad: Oh No, you don’t want to go, daughter. Why he is not come to you?

Me: He came here already last year.

Dad: Ok, ok, your mom is here waiting to talk to you.

Mom: what is it, daughter?

Me: Mom, I will go to oversea to meet a man.

Mom: No, you don’t go anywhere, honey. U know a girl in our village went to her bf’s country and when she’s there, her bf bring not only his members family but also the whole town guys to sex her. When she come back she told me she almost dead . some even do anal sex and lick this & that. What an orgy animal!!!

Me: Mom, he is a nice guy.

Mom: I don’t care he is nice or not, but if he love you he must come to meet you hear.

Me: what if I married and live in oversea?

Mom: that is another case. You can get any man here and marry any man in Thailand.

Me: Mom, I don’t need ANY man.

Mom: you love him that much? And it makes you want to go to see him?

Me. Yes, mom.

Mom: No, I not let you go, but if you go I will hold my breath to dead.

Me. Ok, ok, mom I’ll not go any where, and I’ll be here in Thailand.

Mom: No, I don’t believe you, you are lying. Dad, dad come, come talk to your daughter, she is not listen to me. She’ll come to a man in oversea.

Dad: Listen to your mom, daughter, don’t go or she will die.

Me: Dad, I said I’m not going anywhere, I didn’t say I will go at all.

I almost snap my mom back as “ when I was young you marooned me and now you try to cage me like I’m an animal but I will not let you do that†it would make mom cry for two weeks and more over she would be more hurt to know I remember my childhood. At first I thought I would tell her the truth when I’m back from NZ but I’ll tell her I didn’t go any where and told her he is the one who come to see me here. It is my solution to protect my man to be resented by mom, incase they met because I’m afraid my mom would thought “this is a man who make my daughter come to him†she probably fine but inside she would be abit like a hen protecting her chicks.

Everything seems hard for me…. and I’m exhausted ….

Anyone used to go to NZ? And have you wait that long to get visa approved?

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11.01.10 at 09.01 AM I’m at the NZ consulate and I’m a first applicant. The receptionist look through my applications and:

Receptionist: you have to wait 6 weeks for your visa approval.

Me: why is taking so long?

Receptionist: 1 you are never travel oversea before

Me: I’ve been to Abu Dhabi before as a business trip.

Receptionist: that’s doesn’t count, and the 2 you apply for visitor visa while your invitation letter say you both in serious relationship as a boyfriend, girl friend, right?

Me: Yes, and?

Receptionist: why don’t you do sponsorship visa is easier to get approved.

Me: I don’t need sponsor, I want a visitor visa and I have copies of bank statements and other docs.

Receptionist: do you talk to each other by phone often?

Me: Yes, and mostly by email exchange.

Receptionist: do you have picture taken together to show us?

Me: Yes, I have, but No, I won’t show you, because it’s inappropriate. Its personal pic-tures..

(She looks at me while I’m saying “personal pic†but I turn my face away to avoid eyes contact.)

Me: is it possible that I can get visa approved sooner.

Receptionist: it depends on how soon your boyfriend can provides us his information. Wait until you get contact by us.

I’m abit disappointed while I’m taking bts home to get my sandals replace my high heel because it is killing me. Thinking of 6 weeks to get visa it is really frustrate me I have planned to see ADCD concert in Auckland on Feb 04, 2010 and I will miss even Valentines Day.

10.15 AM. At work I’m abit despond and thought, maybe mom doesn’t want me to go that’s why it’s so difficult. I’m talking with dad & mom the night before I handed visa application.

Me: Dad, I’m thinking maybe I take a trip oversea.

Dad: why?

Me: I go to a man

Dad: Oh No, you don’t want to go, daughter. Why he is not come to you?

Me: He came here already last year.

Dad: Ok, ok, your mom is here waiting to talk to you.

Mom: what is it, daughter?

Me: Mom, I will go to oversea to meet a man.

Mom: No, you don’t go anywhere, honey. U know a girl in our village went to her bf’s country and when she’s there, her bf bring not only his members family but also the whole town guys to sex her. When she come back she told me she almost dead . some even do anal sex and lick this & that. What an orgy animal!!!

Me: Mom, he is a nice guy.

Mom: I don’t care he is nice or not, but if he love you he must come to meet you hear.

Me: what if I married and live in oversea?

Mom: that is another case. You can get any man here and marry any man in Thailand.

Me: Mom, I don’t need ANY man.

Mom: you love him that much? And it makes you want to go to see him?

Me. Yes, mom.

Mom: No, I not let you go, but if you go I will hold my breath to dead.

Me. Ok, ok, mom I’ll not go any where, and I’ll be here in Thailand.

Mom: No, I don’t believe you, you are lying. Dad, dad come, come talk to your daughter, she is not listen to me. She’ll come to a man in oversea.

Dad: Listen to your mom, daughter, don’t go or she will die.

Me: Dad, I said I’m not going anywhere, I didn’t say I will go at all.

I almost snap my mom back as “ when I was young you marooned me and now you try to cage me like I’m an animal but I will not let you do that†it would make mom cry for two weeks and more over she would be more hurt to know I remember my childhood. At first I thought I would tell her the truth when I’m back from NZ but I’ll tell her I didn’t go any where and told her he is the one who come to see me here. It is my solution to protect my man to be resented by mom, incase they met because I’m afraid my mom would thought “this is a man who make my daughter come to him†she probably fine but inside she would be abit like a hen protecting her chicks.

Everything seems hard for me…. and I’m exhausted ….

Anyone used to go to NZ? And have you wait that long to get visa approved?

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awwww,,, hug ** hug ** Hug***everything gonna be ok na kha :) ÃÂèÒ§§ÕéáËÅäèà ¾èÃáÃèà¤éÒ¡çà»ç¹ËèǧàÃÒà»ç¹¸ÃÃÃ´Ò áÅéÇÂÔ觶éÒà¤éÒä´éÂÔ¹¢èÒÇäÃè´ÕÃÃ’ à¤éÒ¡ç¨ÃÂÔè§à»ç¹Ëèǧ仡ѹãË­è ¶éÒ¤èÃÂæøԺÒÂãËé·èÒ¹¿Ñ§ ·èÒ¹¹èÒ¨ÃਢéÒ㨹äÃ

ÊÙé ÊÙé ¶éÒ·Ñ駤Ùè¾ÂÒÂÒà ÃÃäáçäÃèà»ç¹ÃØÊÃä ¹Ã¤Ã

Just like my mom, the first time that i travel with my bf, i told her and all she said was, No, No, No and No Mayb he will sell you, mayb he will hurt you,mayb hes a bad guy.... bla bla bla.....

i knew that mom worry that her daughter will go aboard, its not our Home country.

All i said to her. I said, I Love my bf, and i trust him,and he is a good guy.

and finally she agree, she think im old enough to think by myself, or do whatever i want to do.

since then, every time that i travel she never ask me to stop, all i have to do just call her, to let her know that Im ok :)

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@ SB. Because the NZ govt has not yet figured out that Abu Dhabi is an emirate of a country! ;)

A woman from your mum's village told her that she was the vitcim of a pack rape by her bf and others when she went to visit him in another country!? Sounds like an urban legend type of thing that Thai mothers tell their daughters.

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Dont worry, dear Soda...and dont be unpatient....if your love is strong, it will beat all barriers...and above us is some force, ppl usually called it God, who look and take care of all...and u deserve to love and be loved, so...trust me, everything will be ok...just believe!

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Good that your mom concern and care for you. :-)

When I told my mom, she just said “ÃÃäà à»ç¹Ë¹ÕéäÃè¨èÒ áÅéÇÂѧ¨ÃÃÕ˹éÒä»à·ÕèÂÇàÃ×ç¹Ã¡â€

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ahhhh!

Soda I told you NZ is very similar to Australia in its requirements, except we know that Abu Dhabi is in another country away from thailand!

Can you get your man to sponsor you or is that something that makes you uncomfortable?

Sorry I can't provide you with better news! :(

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I wish your man taking quick respond to their requirement since he wrote invitation that you two are in serious relationship .Not much you can do about this once it handed to the embassy ..patient is only alternate.

Finger cross ja.

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@LakeGeneve - you could be right, but there are many cases of Thai women being lured to other countries to work as forced prostitutes in brothels.

This kind of problem is common with the NZ Embassy unfortunately. They seem to assume that any Thai woman going to NZ is a bar girl, so they just make it as difficult as possible. I had to get the Minister of Immigration to talk to the Embassy staff personally when we needed visas for Thai staff in our NZ office.

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@LakeGeneve - it certainly sounds like an urban myth. There are millions of cases of Thai women voluntarily working as prostitutes... very few who are forced... don't believe Neo - he's a white knight out to save all the poor Thai girls in peril... even the imaginary ones!

It's even more doubtful when from a woman who will 'Hold her breath until she dies.'!

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sounds a big drama from isaan village.

The receptionist at consulate is thai, isnt she? From my XP to deal/wrok with ppl from embassy, they quite rude and pretend stupid even they know our situation. kinda »Ñ­­ÒÃèù àËÃææ

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ÊÑ¡¾Ñ¡ áÃè¡éêԹ

¨ÃÔ§æáÅéÇ à¢Ò໧Ëèǧ ¡ÅÑǾÕèäÃè¡ÅѺ

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Wish you well too Soda, if your paperwork is in order, then everything should be OK.

You know folks around here have "Nana Plaza Itis" may it seem like every other girl in Thailand is bar girl. Truth is there are also millions of jai dee, gang, and suay girls (like Soda) in Thailand.

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Neo is correct in his comment.

You have to think from their perspective - their job (at the Embassy/Consulate) is to dissuade (prevent) thai girls ending up in brothels as prostitutes - there are some horrific tales.

If you have all your papers in order and your bf has his as well, the process will be much quicker - as quick as 3 to 4 weeks.

The best thing you can do now is to ask your bf to send in his information as quickly as possible.

Good luck.

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Take the bf to meet with your family, although for a brief moment, at least they know who he is.

As for the Visa, it's normal for the embassy to say 4-6 weeks, but I got my Visa to the UK approved within 10 days. But the letter from your bf might be a bit of a problem, since you applied for tourist Visa. I wish you all the best though!

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¹éÃ§â«´Ò »¡µÔà¤éÒÃÃÇÕ«èÒ Approved »ÃÃÃÒ³ ÃÒ·ÔµÂì˹Öè§ÃÂèÒ§ªéÒÊØ´¡éÃÊçÃÒ·ÔµÂìÃà ÃÑ·Õè¹Õéà¤éÒãËéÃùҹ¨Ñ§Ãà ÃÂèÒ§¶éÒÃÔµÒÅÕ¢éÃÃÙŤúà¤éÒ¡éùѴÇѹÃÒÃѺä´éàŹà áµè¶éÒá¨é§à¤éÒÇèÒä»ËÒΌ¹Ã¨ÃºÃ¡ÇèÒ¨Ãä´éÂÒ¡¡ÇèÒä»à·ÕèÂÇÃà à¤éҨöÒäӶÒ÷Õèà»ç¹ÊèǹµÑÇÃÒ¡ææ ¢Ã§¹éçÂѧ¹éùþÕèàË繢ç·Õè¢Ã§ºÒ§Abbassy ¶ÒáÃ÷Ñé§Çѹà´×ù»Õʶҹ·Õè ·Õ辺¡Ñ¹¤ÃÑé§ááÃÃ(¤Ñ¨Ã¨Óä´éáÃè¹¢Ò¹¹Ñ鹿Ã) áµèÅäӶÒÃàËç¹áÅéÇʧÊÒùé礹¹Ñé¹Ãà ºÃ¡ä»à·ÕèÂǧèÒ¡ÇèÒ áµèÇèÒá¨é§à¤éÒä»áÅéÇä»ËÒΌäÃèÃØé¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹ä´éà»èÒáµè¨Ñºä´éÇèÒâ¡Ë¡ºÒ§·Õ»Ã÷ѺµÃÒ ËéÒÃà¢éÒ»ÃÃà·ÈÃà ¡Õè»ÕáÅéÇáµè¡Ã³ÕÃà ¶éÒʧÊÑÂÃÑ PM ÃÒËÒ¾Õè¡éä´é¹à §èÒÂÊØ¡¤×à Business trip Ãà ¼èÒ¹©ÅØ·ء·Õè

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SODA-darling!

---Have b/f get his papers in as soon as he can

--- Photoshop an innocent picture of you two (And post them on TF :) )

-----send one to Mom and Dad----

---sned a map of the world to the NZ embassy with highlights around Thailand

New Zealand

Abu Dhabi

--- tell them to wake up! Bring coffee...have them smell it ! :x

worse case have TWO 1) a Valentine's apart and 2)a delayed Valentine's togeather! :o

six weeks is terrible...! Mom ...well ...gently live your own life! Good luck Darling :)

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I think it is very inappropriate for a mother to threaten a child with suicide if that child does something of which the mother does not approve - and especially when the child is an adult in her 30s! This is the first I've ever heard about you, Soda, but I already trust your judgment more than your mother does.

That being said, why didn't you take your boyfriend to meet your parents when he was visiting you here last time? That would have given them more confidence about your proposed visit, I think.

Conclusion: Try to convince your mother (somehow) that you should go to New Zealand to spend time with your boyfriend. If you can't convince her, just go anyway. You're a grown woman and it's your life. (What is she going to do? Hold her breath until she dies?)

By the way, I think it's extremely unlikely, given what you have said about your relationship with your boyfriend, that he intends to lure you over to New Zealand to gang rape you. That's just not something that your average person does.

And finally, thanks for sharing that conversation that you had with your parents. I found it extremely enlightening to hear how Thai people talk with their parents. It is very different from conversations that I would have with MY parents, for example.

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Soda, Oh my Buddha, Jesus Christ and whosoever - I bet your mum aint the only Thai mother with such an opinion on guys from abroad..

Introduce TF to her and let her read here - then she might probably open her mind to other cultures and change her mind towards men from abroad who still carry some lost former thai values on their minds.

Old-fashioned attitudes such as responsibilty and reliabilty, which oh so many thai men have lost long time ago..

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Not sure what advice to give other than I'm pretty sure you already know your bf is not the kind of guy to do something like your mother fears. Although I don't agree with the guilt trip (threatening suicide) I think every parent tries to be protective. If I have a daughter every boy who comes to meet her will be shown my shotgun and told what happens if she comes home any different than how she left the house :-)

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my wife and i were married in australia and its not much easier to get a visit visa for her to go to australia even when i am with her at the australian embassy in bangkok. i think the thai staff at these embassy just like to prove how important they are. relax and you'll get yr visa. i hope its soon enough for you to see ac/dc ^__^

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Be thankful you're not trying to get a visa to the USA. My friend's fiance visa took one year to get, with all paperwork in order.

You will get visa, just have to be patient. After the first one, and they know you come back, the next ones will be much quicker.

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English Bob needs to read a newspaper occasionally. Yes many Thai women deliberately become prostitutes overseas but there are many cases IN THE NEWS EB where they are forced. There are even organisations who provide help for such women.

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