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I wanna find this guy and marry him, NOW!


iBatch

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Are you my soul mate?

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

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Are you my soul mate?

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

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Desperated old woman who cant stay sober after 7 pm. on Friday seeking soulmate who can cook, clean and be able to prepare and serve drinks all night long...

:-)

serious reply only.. damn.. im serious !

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Here's are a few of them:

I am looking for a very discrete relationship with someone that is open minded and is not into games. must be mature and responsible. age does not matter. I am not looking to rush into a relationship...

Interpretation:

I am looking to cheat on my wife with someone who won't play games, although that's exactly what I am planning to do with my wife and with YOU. She must be mature and responsible although by my very presence here, I am showing immaturity and irresponsibility. I don't want to rush into a relationship because I have shown myself to be incapable of having an honest one.

I'M A GOD FEARING MAN WHO'S ABOUT TAKING CARE OF RESPONSIBILITY FIRST. WHEN MAKING LOVE TO MY WOMAN MY PRI0RITY IS TO PLEASE HER FIRST BECAUSE IF SHE'S PLEASED THEN I'M AUTOMATICALLY PLEASE. I'M A HARD WORKER WHO CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. HAVE A BLESS DAY.

Interpretation:

I am a zealot who thinks he's the Don Juan of the Southside. I also know nothing of internet etiquette or grammar. I don't know what a "caps lock" is. With the use of "my woman," I exhibit a tendency to think of a woman as a possession! I ran off my wife, so now I have to look for luv on the innerweb. (heehe!)

Come join the party

I am out going, love good conversation I like it when I am with a lady that is smart and sexy.I enjoy a clean house to some extent not extreme measures an I enjoy good sex and good times with one person.

Interpretation:

I am looking for someone to clean house and be my sex toy after she's done.

I still open doors!

I`m a shy person not one that likes a crowd. I seem to be too affectionate toward woman, I've been told. I like romance and time together with a woman.I like to go to romantic places, weekend getaways, the beach.

I would like to meet a woman that likes being with there mate, someone that will put the effort into a relationship. Someone willing to communicate their feelings. Someone that does not flirt with other men, but will with me. A woman with no sexual problems. I know your out there somewhere.

Interpretation:

I'm insecure, clingy, jealous and possessive. I worry myself sick when my partner is anywhere out of my sight about what she might be doing and with whom. In my mind, "flirting with other men" includes speaking to them or making eye contact with them.

Looking for honest , reliable...

I'm who I am I'm honest.faithful ,@ dependable . I'm hard headed strong willed ,determined@ I'm very loyally . Work all the the time. But I do like to play with the right person . I'm looking for a friend.companion ,@ hopefully for a wife .For the rest of my life .

Interpretation:

I need a woman with editing skills. For the rest of my life.

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