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Thinking too much

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breakofdawning

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Not exactly an appropriate moment to post a journal but I feel like getting this out of my system.

I have been thinking and rethinking about a few things the past week. It's all in the future and I am not sure how things are going to turn out but I cannot help assuming, expecting, and worrying, most of the time for the worst rather than for the best.

Work-wise, my boss is looking for a new opportunity. He has been supportive and protective of me during the past year and 3 months that I have been working in this position. If he is to leave, I'd pretty much be left with an ass-creep idiot, who doesn't seem to wanna leave this extreme comfort zone.

Being just an employee at the lowest of the food chain, I do not have any negotiating power to say who I want as a boss. My options are quite limited right now.

1. I can try asking not to work under this ass-creep idiot and report directly to the bigger boss.

2. If that doesn't work, then I stay until I complete my 2 years working under the idiot and suffer everyday of work.

3. Resign... and start looking for a new job, living on my saving in the meantime.

I'll know in a few weeks, how this is going to turn out.

Another thing that has been bothering me is moving overseas to be with my boyfriend. It is not going to happen this year, but being me, I cannot help but assuming the worse. I am not sure how many Thai people, who moved overseas, actually get a good job.

Being a middle class here is much easier and have better quality of life than in Western countries, in my opinion. I can take taxi anytime I want, dine in a restaurant (not fine dining though) a few times a week, drink Starbucks every day and would still have enough money to give to my family and put in saving. I doubt I'd be able to find a job that would allow me to maintain this lifestyle in Europe.

I am debating if I'd regret moving over to Europe and leaving basically "everything" behind in order to be with the man I love.

If you were to choose love and money, what would be your choice?

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Not exactly an appropriate moment to post a journal but I feel like getting this out of my system.

I have been thinking and rethinking about a few things the past week. It's all in the future and I am not sure how things are going to turn out but I cannot help assuming, expecting, and worrying, most of the time for the worst rather than for the best.

Work-wise, my boss is looking for a new opportunity. He has been supportive and protective of me during the past year and 3 months that I have been working in this position. If he is to leave, I'd pretty much be left with an ass-creep idiot, who doesn't seem to wanna leave this extreme comfort zone.

Being just an employee at the lowest of the food chain, I do not have any negotiating power to say who I want as a boss. My options are quite limited right now.

1. I can try asking not to work under this ass-creep idiot and report directly to the bigger boss.

2. If that doesn't work, then I stay until I complete my 2 years working under the idiot and suffer everyday of work.

3. Resign... and start looking for a new job, living on my saving in the meantime.

I'll know in a few weeks, how this is going to turn out.

Another thing that has been bothering me is moving overseas to be with my boyfriend. It is not going to happen this year, but being me, I cannot help but assuming the worse. I am not sure how many Thai people, who moved overseas, actually get a good job.

Being a middle class here is much easier and have better quality of life than in Western countries, in my opinion. I can take taxi anytime I want, dine in a restaurant (not fine dining though) a few times a week, drink Starbucks every day and would still have enough money to give to my family and put in saving. I doubt I'd be able to find a job that would allow me to maintain this lifestyle in Europe.

I am debating if I'd regret moving over to Europe and leaving basically "everything" behind in order to be with the man I love.

If you were to choose love and money, what would be your choice?

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how long have u been with ur bf ?? how much "real life time" have u spent together ?? does he want u to move to Europe to be with him ??

1 thing i would say .... is don't resign from ur job (unless it becomes completely unbearable), but instead look for another employment opportunity whilst continuing in ur present job !!

i'd choose money .... lots and lots of ******* money !! money may not buy u love .... but it can buy u everything else u need !!!

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I choose good job that is suitable for my professional skills set and it doesn't necessarily mean that I choose money. I used to work as an external staff for swiss investment bank in the US for a year and had been invited to have interviews for the same position for different banks in the US and in London. However, I don't have work permit as needed to be permanent employed and green card . Nowadays, with high unemployment rate in the US, it would be very competitive to get visa sponser by the company unless I earn another Master's degree in one of the top 50 business schools that would help me to get to a game a bit. I can't imagine being a waitress overseas so far which lots of my friends make a good live on than comparing to their normal salary structure in Thailand which is about 40k-5Ok for starters. I can't comment about the guy...I do think if I have to depend on him financially all the time, he wouldn't be happy much!

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I agree with Ciaran for his suggestion about your job. Please don't leave your job unless you can get a new one. I understand your feeling to work with an idiot. Trust me there is such person in everywhere so let find the way how to deal with him and make you feel better.

For your life in the future with your bf, I guess there will be a lot of good advices for you.

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Sorry,, my comments are for the US ..not for the Europe. However, I think, if you have another degree in the country that you will live in the future, then it will enhance you chance of getting a decent professional job.

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You only have to change your outlook on the kind of job you will get where your BF lives after you get married. The best jobs to get are waitress jobs in good restaurants. You work for tips, and tips are very very good. Thai restaurants are always looking for Thai waitresses that speak good english. Keep this job opportunity in mind if you want to have a chance of making good money. It's totally different than working in restaurants in Thailand. The work is pretty much the same, but the money is allot better.

If you get married then that is the only time you will be interested in the job market. If you do not marry him, then you will be coming back to Thailand, so do keep your job opportunities open here.

With the job market like it is in Thailand now, do not change jobs until you have another one. You don't want to be spending your savings now. That is not what you planned for your savings this soon.

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you have been loving for over 5 years and that should be enough to know that what is the best choice for yourself & the love one.If there is no tomorrow I 'd rather be with my love .Money could be an issue but a smart girl like you will get through eventually just need a little faith to yourself and the man. People do make some sacrifice for love and the life style that we're all having in Thailand will need to be cease for awhile but it will not be the end of it ...as you know you will spend money wisely and plan a little more until you get yourself a job in other country . If I 've been apart for 5 years from my love one , I will think this is will be the end of it...I will trade love with 'middle class' life style any time !

without love is without live , doesn't matter how much money you make ...waking up alone in the empty apartment for so long people tend to get lost some how especially women :)

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without love is without live , doesn't matter how much money you make ...waking up alone in the empty apartment for so long people tend to get lost some how especially women :)

well i have been know to get lost occassionally, but that's due to the amount of beer consumed rather than being without love !!!

and i can get along in life without love .... so long as there is still some lust in life !!! ;-)

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@Koolbreez, I also agree with you about the waitress job 's revenue. However, I feel bad and sad if I have to leave all my skills and knowledge behind and work in the areas that are not required to use sophisticated level of financial formula. Working in a fine restaurants in The US give you a lots of money and your professional skills are deteriorated at the same time.

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Agree with Ciaran when he says to not quit until you find something else. It's always easier to find further employment when you are already employed.

As regards to moving away. This is an interesting podcast about a Thai girl who moved to London to study and work. It's interesting to hear about the adaptation to British life style. It may be of some help. http://www.bangkokpodcast.com/bangkok-interviews/moving-away/

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well i have been know to get lost occassionally' date=' but that's due to the amount of beer consumed rather than being without love !!!

and i can get along in life without love .... so long as there is still some lust in life !!! ;-)[/quote']

It's easy for expat men living here in Thailand without love as there are lots of lust around wherever your beer is !! :P but for lovers, they are happier with having each other aside and fight the obstacles :))

The OP & her love has been fight for work for over 5 years yet still not enough to be certain for future and be there for each other...yeah no one knows what is enough for our self anyway... with some more skill practice as other suggests and let alone the Bangkok lifestyle for awhile ..it shouldn't be that bad.

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To the OP, I don't know you..or your CV...but You look smart and your English skills are exceptional. If you are certain about the guy...marry him , eventually you will get a decent job wherever you are in the world even if you need to be patient for job hunting for some moments.

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Ciaran -- I know you do not have faith in long distance relationship but I do. He came to see me 11 times during the past 5 years and me going to his country once. So I'd say if a guy is willing to spend so much of his money and all of his holidays (25 days a year) on/with me, he sure does have faith in this relationship as well.

The advise for job is a great one, I have been through living on my saving before and I do not wish to do it again anytime soon. *fingers crossed*

As for relationship, I am not as lucky as you. I'm not pretty enough to get a shag anytime I want.

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Exploring and koolbreeze -- Plan is to get married first, so I can go there and get a job, but it's still a vague future plan. I wouldn't want to consider working as a waitress or a cashier in a supermarket. I experienced it many years ago after graduation and it wouldn't be something I wanna do at my age right now.

I have been looking at the job in my field in Europe, level entry position and the salary after tax would be similar to what I am earning right now. With expensive cost of living there, I wouldn't have much left to spend, let alone to splurge. I do have some good names behind me in the CV, but I am just not sure if it'd mean anything overseas. My job relies heavily on experience and contacts, especially the latter, that I won't have when I start there.

My English skills would mean nothing, because everyone there speaks English. How much will Thai language skills be taken into account in a Western country? I am not totally negative about it. I have made quite a success of myself here during the past 8 years of work, and I know deep down inside that I can do it again. But stepping out of my comfort zone is not easy.

Sincere thanks for all your suggestions and your comments. ^_^

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Lillydilly --

If I 've been apart for 5 years from my love one , I will think this is will be the end of it...I will trade love with 'middle class' life style any time !

I was thinking that up until recently, when I calculated my current income, comparing to an income for entry level position over there. Seeing how low the figure turned out, I am having a second thought if this would be a good idea. A high percentage of problem in the family results from money. I do not wish that to happen to me, to us.

But you sure do have a very very good point. Thank you very much for your comments.

P.S. You remember how long I have been with my bf!!!!!!!!! O_O

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Sasie -- I totally agree on that. I hope I don't have to take that option too!!!

Teddy -- First time I actually listen to a podcast!!! I didn't know how to use it before. :-P Listening to it right now, and this is what I need. I seriously need to listen to more English native speakers esp American accent!!! (no offense ^_^) Thanks!!

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Well what's about online business? May be you can find very good products there to sell for Thai customer. Or yoga teacher? The healthy trend is so popular around the world especially in western countries. You've time to take the course ^^.

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Last 2-3 years I have had this kind of thinking the same to you and almost in same situation. But I am still here in Thailand. My comfort zone. I think it depend on how much you and your BF love each other. And both are mean to be together. 5 years that long enough for both to think about their future not just a BF GF. Other obstacles would be just a tiny problems.:-) cheer! :-)

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Working in a supermarket, and working in a restaurant are completely different. I would not recommend working in a supermarket, but working in a good restaurant I would recommend. You can make from $100-$200+ a day in just the tips. It is totally different from restaurants in Thailand. It seems to be your thinking that money is needed to be happy, and this is true in some respects. Not having money does create problems. That is why I recommend a good money job avenue with working at good restaurants. It is very good money, and contrary to some beliefs, it does take skill to make good money at it, and there are always openings if you look.

Your present work experience gives you the ability to relate to your customers better in restaurant work, and that increases your tips.

In another avenue you might find it necessary to go back to college, to get up to speed in your field in the country you will be in, or to change fields completely. You will be an asset to any business that currently operates, or is thinking of expanding business into Thailand, remember that. Your work experience gives you the ability to adapt to what is needed where you end up living. Your skills are not just limited to the current job you do, they are universal in lots of different businesses. Don't limit your thinking in what you are capable of doing. If you find you are lacking for the good jobs that are available you can get those skills by going back to college for how ever long it takes to get up to speed.

You will get a good money job, but remember the only reason for you to work is to be happy, and make money.

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knowing what your current career is or your hoped for path might aid the advise...

I agree unless the boss is unbearable --- bear it until you find another position you are happy with...

Waitress could be a temporary "bridge" to a re-start to your career path... but it seems (from past write-ups) that you enjoy having a career...so don't discount it!!!!! might take some serious time, but do not give up!

As was mentioned you seem to have superior English skills (although more American influences would be better IMHO ;) ) ....so since in the UK nearly everyone has that skill ...ask yourself what jobs would be enhanced by a native Thai speaker ( import / export; travel, ????) ...could open a new career path...

Work is hard to find...five years of love is harder to find ..... congrats for maintaining it!

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Ciaran -- I know you do not have faith in long distance relationship but I do. He came to see me 11 times during the past 5 years and me going to his country once. So I'd say if a guy is willing to spend so much of his money and all of his holidays (25 days a year) on/with me' date=' he sure does have faith in this relationship as well.

The advise for job is a great one, I have been through living on my saving before and I do not wish to do it again anytime soon. *fingers crossed*

As for relationship, I am not as lucky as you. I'm not pretty enough to get a shag anytime I want.[/quote']

well surely after 5 years together u must have some idea of what u want for the future, otherwise what's the point of carrying on ??

do u want to stay together ? live together ? get married ? at some stage (and surely after 5 years u should know by now) if u do plan to be together then u need to decide where ?? and when ??

and i'm sorry, but if after 5 years u r still only seeing each other 25 days per year, what's happening the other 340 days of the year ?? that IMO is NOT a real/proper relationship.

and i'm not handsome enough to get a shag anytime i want, but this is bkk thailand and it isn't the most difficult place in the world for a man/woman to get a shag if they put in a bit of effort !!

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Last 2-3 years I have had this kind of thinking the same to you and almost in same situation. But I am still here in Thailand. My comfort zone. I think it depend on how much you and your BF love each other. And both are mean to be together. 5 years that long enough for both to think about their future not just a BF GF. Other obstacles would be just a tiny problems.:-) cheer! :-)

It's mainly me saying I am not ready to go. It's hard when you are young and want to make a life of yourself and be successful in your career. I did ask my bf a few times if it'd be easier had I never have this good paying job. If I were to make 15-25k a month, I'd not hesitate leaving the country for a brain-numbing job that pays 40-50k.

It is not a question of how much we want to be with each other at the moment. It is how happy I will be leaving everything I have behind, to a not very promising land, in terms of good career opportunity. I know that we will be happy together. But the unknown and uncertainty is frightening for me.

I hope you and your bf can come into agreement soon and in a much easier manner than I. All the best. ;)

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You will get a good money job' date=' but remember the only reason for you to work is to be happy, and make money.[/quote']

Thanks for very good suggestions. I pretty much had an image of a Thai restaurant or some pubs in mind. But yeah... if I were to work at a fine dining restaurant then, I am sure the money wouldn't be too bad. I sure can take it as a stepping stone, but I am just "thinking too much" of the worst case scenario.

I'd love to go back to college more than anything. I miss studying. But even if I am married, I'd still have to wait until I obtain the citizenship first before I can go to college at affordable fee. But yes... there are many options that I haven't thought about, and you have been nothing but supportive. Thank you!

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Well what's about online business? May be you can find very good products there to sell for Thai customer. Or yoga teacher? The healthy trend is so popular around the world especially in western countries. You've time to take the course ^^.

Thank you so much for the business ideas! I'd love to be yoga teacher though. I used to enjoy going to bikram yoga class and wanted to teach there as well. But I never got the discipline to do it. :oops:

Maybe it's time to stop thinking about being an employee huh?

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knowing what your current career is or your hoped for path might aid the advise...

I agree unless the boss is unbearable --- bear it until you find another position you are happy with...

Waitress could be a temporary "bridge" to a re-start to your career path... but it seems (from past write-ups) that you enjoy having a career...so don't discount it!!!!! might take some serious time' date=' but do not give up!

As was mentioned you seem to have superior English skills (although more American influences would be better IMHO ;) ) ....so since in the UK nearly everyone has that skill ...ask yourself what jobs would be enhanced by a native Thai speaker ( import / export; travel, ????) ...could open a new career path...

Work is hard to find...five years of love is harder to find ..... congrats for maintaining it![/quote']

I work in Tourism industry, in quite a good position. I have been looking for the jobs in my field in the UK and there found a few lesser positions that I might be qualified. Salary-wise it was around 18-25k pounds a year, which in theory is more than what I am earning now, but considering the cost of living, I'd be earning less. That is what puts me off, but it's just the way it supposed to be.

But as Sasie suggested above, it might be time to consider a small business of my own. :)

I used to speak American English without an accent. But working in Thailand all these years and not interacting much with American speaking friends, not watching as much American TV shows, and speaking to British influenced boyfriend, my English is now all mixed up. I do have some American pronunciation, but people can tell that I am not a native speaker. I pray that I will not sound like the Brits, when I go live there!!!

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