No, I am not a shopaholic.

Really, I am not a shopaholic. Yet, I guess the XX chromosomes in me allow me to find comfort in spending money.

When I first moved to this country, I came here with almost nothing. I left all my savings back home and only had a few hundred pounds and a few hundred dollars in my wallet. My husband supported me on everything that I needed in my daily life, plus some pocket money that I could spend, if I needed extra odds and ends.

Problem was I had always been independent. Spending my husband's money was foreign to me and in a way quite awkward. Since I didn't know how long it'd take me to land a job in the new country, I hardly spent anything. I had been so used to spending on a daily basis back home: from paying for fare, lunch, personal necessities, to treating myself, my family or even my friends. But with no job insight, I had refrained myself from spending altogether for weeks.

During that period, I felt so depressed. I couldn't figure out why I felt so down. I had my husband beside me, good food, warm bed, nice clothes, and money in my bank account, job would eventually come. Why was I so disconsolate?

I went out for a walk one day, and found myself in a supermarket not far from home. I looked around the supermarket, decided to pick up a can of Coke, then went straight to cashier to pay. I didn't quite remember how much that can of soda was, maybe a pound. As soon as I was done paying, thanked the cashier, and walked off, I miraculously felt better!

What I realized later, is that spending money plays quite a large part on me psychologically. While I didn't spend any money, my self-esteem and self-worth went down. But as soon as I spent that pound, it was almost like the switch had been turned on, I automatically felt good about myself again.

Next time, someone tells you that they need a retail therapy. Believe me, it is quite therapeutic!