THIS IS A SPECIAL ALERT: Mothers and fathers of the Washington, DC Metropolitan Area keep your daughters ages 18 and up behind locked doors on Friday, April 2, 2004. Under no circumstances should you let them out of the house after dark. As a matter of fact, husbands don?t let your wives out either. Why the need for this special announcement, you ask?

?I just found out one of my closest and craziest friends will be in town and has asked yours truly, s1lv3rtwenty2, to help him rock this city full of political windbags and special interest rats to its core. Senators, congressmen and yes, even Mr. G. W. Bush will be running for the hills in search of cover from this impending storm of booze, debauchery and degradation.

You may say, ?Gee silver22, aren?t you exaggerating it a little bit??? Believe me, when I say this friend is crazy, I mean he?s a wacko. He thinks about nothing, just does it and deals with the consequences later (sometimes). Actually, I?m surprised he?s made it this far?nobody thought he would live past 30. This is the very same guy whose antics got me (yes me, mister even-keel-wait-lets-think-this-through-that-doesn?t-sound-like-such-a-good-idea guy) a one way ride in the back of a black and white (with little?no wait, big blue and red lights on top) Ford Crown Victoria courtesy of DC?s uniformed finest boys in blue?as in, ?Yes son, those are REAL bullets in my gun.? Oh but wait, it didn?t end there?two hundred dollars and all the alcohol the arresting officer and his partner could drink at the Velvet Lounge (yes, that?s one of those clubs where the girls aren?t wearing next to nothing?they ARE wearing nothing) later, we were free and all transgressions were forgotten?and it was my friend who suggested the idea?while I was practically pissing my pants and telling the officers that I had, ?never met this guy before in my life.?

I was always the one holding the door open for the ladies and he was the one sneaking up behind them and grabbing their hind quarters as they walked through?and he still won the girl?s affection before the night was through. Okay, I didn?t do too bad either, but back to my point?um, what was my point again?...oh yea?

Let all available (or unavailable for that matter) and attractive (the attractive standard does indeed get lowered as the night wears on) ladies out at your own risk. They may not be coming home until the twinkle of the sun?s morning light begins to dance on the horizon at which time I?ll roll over and look at the messy-hair, smeared make-up beauty and say, ?Crap, my head hurts?and what was your name again??

We?re going to rock this city from the bottom of the Potomac River to the top of the Washington Monument.

(Editorial commentary: In all likelihood, Lyle has probably grown too old to make it much past 2:00 a.m. and will be pathetic in his vain attempt to recapture the lost wildness of youthful days gone by. So let?s all patronize the old boy, wish him luck and try not to laugh in his face?but laughing behind his back is perfectly acceptable...and some would say even encouraged.)

funny old Lyle...

hmmm can you take me to that "wear nothing" place??

Great journal! Especially about the boys in blue and ride in Crowne Vic. Much nicer ride in the front.