1. Sure I'll get my license, but can you hold my beer?

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in..

3. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed.....have you been eating doughnuts?"

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay good, just so one of us does..

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer..

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!

hahaha that works

I've got to be, a macho man

Macho, macho man

I've got to be a macho! Ow....

cooooooooooooooooooool. man.

when he pulls you over and says "i've been waiting for you all day".Just say "I tried to get here as fast as i could"

anything... just what Ronnie's dad said... say nothing to the cops..

In Thailand:

"Police aren't the only thing that's brown."

"off course i can't get out of the car and walk in a straight line," i'm f**king pissed"