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After work yesterday it was one of my happiness day went out with my new friend, Babe shopping arround. After I've been through worse moment last month. Late last month it was my first time I felt I was loosing trust in ppl which is sad. Also a Combodian friend came to me on 19-Feb-13 asked me to hug her tell me she's leaving soon and on a break she was crying said she's lonely and have no one. I'm trying not to cry while she was wiping her tear it made me think she's been living here for 9 years and still lonely and noone, how about me who's being here 1 year and 3 months. I have no one too I told her. I was so sad when I think of what she kept telling me " I know you wouldn't mad at me if I said anything to you coz we came from similar culture". During her working there she's always bring me some food which which I told her that i don't want anything coz I know she has two kids. Now she's gone and I really miss sitting next to her on my break. Last week my closed mate was given verbal warning which turns her to from a talkative person to more silence. I know her spirit being killed but I don't want to make the matter worse by showing sympathy. She is one of a good worker and cooperate, I love her but I couldn't imagine what would be like if I lost her coz I have no one. Yesterday on lunch break I saw her eyes were in tear it made me sad I know what it is. When you are adult you're not cry like baby but this is what adult cope with sadness or insecure. Afew days before she given warning, we were fighting once she knows I like someone I know she affraid I could be hurt but later I told her even I like someone I've never thought of bothering him coz I know who I am. I am trying to make she gets better by saying little this & that but I know it'd take time. I can't loose her and I would do anything to keep her here with me. I don't know anyone here I mean someone that I trust, someone I wanted to share. During down time I saw that guy passing I thought " this is only I thought I like you it seemed some ppl's problem, what if it more...would I get lynch?" LOL. coz after or same day that I talked to him, Jen a girl who works next room to me was standing and look at me that day I don't know for how long she did that but I felt someone staring at me, when I turn I saw her lonely eyes and full of question, more like why you again or something like that. I wanted to tell her that I'm no different to her but affraid it would be no end so I was resuming my work. I heard she wants a bf, she is 23-24 yrs old now, which is rare for someone at this age being single here. she witnessed Ronan talk to me for most of time coz she was sitting there at the same table and by that time we didn't know each others coz we both new. She later on asked me to advise her how to attract guy and if I can introduce someone to her but that time I didn't know she means Ronan coz I'm not sure if she heard he said he looks for someone his age. I witnessed she made her move to him which quite embarrasing but she is young and at least she's tried. She asked infront of him one day and when i'm not say a word she kept repeating loud and louder " Are you going to leave your husband?" I couldn't take any longer when she gets loud so I said " No, and why you asked me such question?". She keep saying that ppl are mean to her, included me. I didn't mean to but she forces me. I washed my dish she throws her spoon to a sink and tell me to wash for her, at first I did, the second I said no and the third I told her "you are an ugly person" which I think it would hurt her somehow. Two weeks ago she asked to be nice and sing for her. I feel sorry for her and I didn't know what I should give her and when she asks to sing for her I did sing her "kiss me" and "Ho hey by the Lumineers" which are two songs of my guitar playing. I saw her eyes satisfied... On Friday a week ago she gave me hug twice when she saw me i guess she'd probably know that I'm fighting with one of my workmates. And that work mate came to apologize to me later which i told her never mind coz I never expected ppl to be nice to me.There was only one incident that I took as abusive which made me wanted to leave my job after 6 months but up until now 8 months I still here lol. They are not that bad i think sometimes ppl can be aggressive and wild, maybe our closedness. Normally I don't like to fight I prefer calm and quiet moment, sometimes I let some say what they want coz it can not bring me down which my closed mate couldn't take it when i told her that "she told me to go in that room and have sex with a tall guy. My closed mate said why don't you tell her to faak off. There is one incident at a kitchen while I was waiting to wave my lunch and I was laughing out loud at a guy, when a work mate saw she yelled at me "why you get excited? I tell you this, Indian man never married other nation women, except Indian women" then she turns to him tell him in their native language. I was pissed off and when we're back to work she told everyone at workplace that I get excited bla bla.... I tried to interupt but it didn't work so I waited untill she finished then I say "You know what, I like blue eyes". The reason I laugh at kitchen coz the guy kept saying he was single 3 times it kind of funny coz I knew since we sent to clean his work place before FDA came to inspect last year. That day a guy brought him in, where we're cleaning and asked "Is there any girl single or available here?" My closed mate joked by point at me "she is available" I said "no, I'm not available, i'm taken" and someone said "double taken" from our back it was Ronan. During Valentine's day, last month my work mates asked me where I went after lunch. I told them I went to toilet and a second person asked "how many minutes you sit in toilet room?" it caused my jaw drop open coz do I have to count how many minutes I sit in toilet room? since this is my privacy. I don't care what ppl saying about me coz I'm not a bad person at all I never bother anyone as far as I know but some say that I do this and do that to show off or attract guys. I'm just nobody which noone cares. Last Friday I talked to a guy (project mgr) whom my closedmate told me not to talk to if I don't want to hear gossip but I don't care now. I can't pleased ppl. I thought of a guy's quote on internet say " Don't try to understand women coz women who understand women well, they hate each others" LOL i think he's right. However, there is nothing too good or too bad and I don't hate or have problem with my workmates even sometimes some may abit harsh or ask about my private life which can be worse than men talk sometimes but nobody perfect... Anyway, yesterday it was one of my day, Babe turns on raido and we sang along out loud like teenagers with the police, I be watching you. I enjoyed intimate friendship with Babe, this is our first day out together. When i first knew that I'm going to lose my combodian friend I started make a new one with Babe and it satisfied me, we naked in fiting room together, try on new cloths I told her I like her complexion and she told me she likes my legs and told me to dress up like 19 yrs old girl by get my hair done and change dress up style, also says "you should wear two pieces, walk on the beach" (she mimick model walking on a cat walk while she's saying) . When I got home I realized that Babe is a lonely woman she told me she's been a single mom for many years before she met her husband. In her homeland she said if you're single mom ppl'd think you worthless to associate with, and I said most asian countries think that way. she told me she kept praying for so long before god sent her this man. When I left her, she's still shopping around. Next weekend she will take me to lady shop at sylvia park which I can't wait to spend time with her. Last week, a cousin told me to talk and give emotional support to my bro since he is in his down moment, I saw he posted on fb says " It isn't his fault to not believe in god and between the good & the bad he stands in the middle, why he got punished by took away what he loved most in life" I just can't do a thing since there are so many ppl around me down which made me numb and I prefer to be numb...There are so many things in my head, something I prefer to keep as secret...the secret that I would never tell anyone coz it do no good... On my bed time I'm lie awak thinking of one of my favorite song "Daylight" since I become two person, one is in realistic world and another I am in my fantasy world. My fantasy keep me energy and make me want to survive, so I recharge my energy before bed time every day... I learned not to hold on to something beyond my power and let it be if something mean to be coz I can't force against nature when it is supposed to be....

After work yesterday it was one of my happiness day went out with my new friend, Babe shopping arround. After I've been through worse moment last month. Late last month it was my first time I felt I was loosing trust in ppl which is sad. Also a Combodian friend came to me on 19-Feb-13 asked me to hug her tell me she's leaving soon and on a break she was crying said she's lonely and have no one. I'm trying not to cry while she was wiping her tear it made me think she's been living here for 9 years and still lonely and noone, how about me who's being here 1 year and 3 months. I have no one too I told her. I was so sad when I think of what she kept telling me " I know you wouldn't mad at me if I said anything to you coz we came from similar culture". During her working there she's always bring me some food which which I told her that i don't want anything coz I know she has two kids. Now she's gone and I really miss sitting next to her on my break. Last week my closed mate was given verbal warning which turns her to from a talkative person to more silence. I know her spirit being killed but I don't want to make the matter worse by showing sympathy. She is one of a good worker and cooperate, I love her but I couldn't imagine what would be like if I lost her coz I have no one. Yesterday on lunch break I saw her eyes were in tear it made me sad I know what it is. When you are adult you're not cry like baby but this is what adult cope with sadness or insecure. Afew days before she given warning, we were fighting once she knows I like someone I know she affraid I could be hurt but later I told her even I like someone I've never thought of bothering him coz I know who I am. I am trying to make she gets better by saying little this & that but I know it'd take time. I can't loose her and I would do anything to keep her here with me. I don't know anyone here I mean someone that I trust, someone I wanted to share. During down time I saw that guy passing I thought " this is only I thought I like you it seemed some ppl's problem, what if it more...would I get lynch?" LOL. coz after or same day that I talked to him, Jen a girl who works next room to me was standing and look at me that day I don't know for how long she did that but I felt someone staring at me, when I turn I saw her lonely eyes and full of question, more like why you again or something like that. I wanted to tell her that I'm no different to her but affraid it would be no end so I was resuming my work. I heard she wants a bf, she is 23-24 yrs old now, which is rare for someone at this age being single here. she witnessed Ronan talk to me for most of time coz she was sitting there at the same table and by that time we didn't know each others coz we both new. She later on asked me to advise her how to attract guy and if I can introduce someone to her but that time I didn't know she means Ronan coz I'm not sure if she heard he said he looks for someone his age. I witnessed she made her move to him which quite embarrasing but she is young and at least she's tried. She asked infront of him one day and when i'm not say a word she kept repeating loud and louder " Are you going to leave your husband?" I couldn't take any longer when she gets loud so I said " No, and why you asked me such question?". She keep saying that ppl are mean to her, included me. I didn't mean to but she forces me. I washed my dish she throws her spoon to a sink and tell me to wash for her, at first I did, the second I said no and the third I told her "you are an ugly person" which I think it would hurt her somehow. Two weeks ago she asked to be nice and sing for her. I feel sorry for her and I didn't know what I should give her and when she asks to sing for her I did sing her "kiss me" and "Ho hey by the Lumineers" which are two songs of my guitar playing. I saw her eyes satisfied... On Friday a week ago she gave me hug twice when she saw me i guess she'd probably know that I'm fighting with one of my workmates. And that work mate came to apologize to me later which i told her never mind coz I never expected ppl to be nice to me.There was only one incident that I took as abusive which made me wanted to leave my job after 6 months but up until now 8 months I still here lol. They are not that bad i think sometimes ppl can be aggressive and wild, maybe our closedness. Normally I don't like to fight I prefer calm and quiet moment, sometimes I let some say what they want coz it can not bring me down which my closed mate couldn't take it when i told her that "she told me to go in that room and have sex with a tall guy. My closed mate said why don't you tell her to faak off. There is one incident at a kitchen while I was waiting to wave my lunch and I was laughing out loud at a guy, when a work mate saw she yelled at me "why you get excited? I tell you this, Indian man never married other nation women, except Indian women" then she turns to him tell him in their native language. I was pissed off and when we're back to work she told everyone at workplace that I get excited bla bla.... I tried to interupt but it didn't work so I waited untill she finished then I say "You know what, I like blue eyes". The reason I laugh at kitchen coz the guy kept saying he was single 3 times it kind of funny coz I knew since we sent to clean his work place before FDA came to inspect last year. That day a guy brought him in, where we're cleaning and asked "Is there any girl single or available here?" My closed mate joked by point at me "she is available" I said "no, I'm not available, i'm taken" and someone said "double taken" from our back it was Ronan. During Valentine's day, last month my work mates asked me where I went after lunch. I told them I went to toilet and a second person asked "how many minutes you sit in toilet room?" it caused my jaw drop open coz do I have to count how many minutes I sit in toilet room? since this is my privacy. I don't care what ppl saying about me coz I'm not a bad person at all I never bother anyone as far as I know but some say that I do this and do that to show off or attract guys. I'm just nobody which noone cares. Last Friday I talked to a guy (project mgr) whom my closedmate told me not to talk to if I don't want to hear gossip but I don't care now. I can't pleased ppl. I thought of a guy's quote on internet say " Don't try to understand women coz women who understand women well, they hate each others" LOL i think he's right. However, there is nothing too good or too bad and I don't hate or have problem with my workmates even sometimes some may abit harsh or ask about my private life which can be worse than men talk sometimes but nobody perfect... Anyway, yesterday it was one of my day, Babe turns on raido and we sang along out loud like teenagers with the police, I be watching you. I enjoyed intimate friendship with Babe, this is our first day out together. When i first knew that I'm going to lose my combodian friend I started make a new one with Babe and it satisfied me, we naked in fiting room together, try on new cloths I told her I like her complexion and she told me she likes my legs and told me to dress up like 19 yrs old girl by get my hair done and change dress up style, also says "you should wear two pieces, walk on the beach" (she mimick model walking on a cat walk while she's saying) . When I got home I realized that Babe is a lonely woman she told me she's been a single mom for many years before she met her husband. In her homeland she said if you're single mom ppl'd think you worthless to associate with, and I said most asian countries think that way. she told me she kept praying for so long before god sent her this man. When I left her, she's still shopping around. Next weekend she will take me to lady shop at sylvia park which I can't wait to spend time with her. Last week, a cousin told me to talk and give emotional support to my bro since he is in his down moment, I saw he posted on fb says " It isn't his fault to not believe in god and between the good & the bad he stands in the middle, why he got punished by took away what he loved most in life" I just can't do a thing since there are so many ppl around me down which made me numb and I prefer to be numb...There are so many things in my head, something I prefer to keep as secret...the secret that I would never tell anyone coz it do no good... On my bed time I'm lie awak thinking of one of my favorite song "Daylight" since I become two person, one is in realistic world and another I am in my fantasy world. My fantasy keep me energy and make me want to survive, so I recharge my energy before bed time every day... I learned not to hold on to something beyond my power and let it be if something mean to be coz I can't force against nature when it is supposed to be....

I want to correct my writing as above from " improper" to inappropriate.

Talking about my weak point, I can't hide my insecurity, so when I fight with my husband my look still show and when I'm asked by some of workmates i can't lie. And this lead to gossip.... everyone knows gossip is spread like fire. Start from one place and to anothers. Gossip is negative and when it is too much, negative could turn to opposite side. I don't hate a person who gossip and I think she doesn't a bad person but just sort of her personality as some woman like to talk and at least I should be aware what going on arround me. during Ronan period I'm being watched every move I made and think if you were me on a break you have over ten pair of eyes staring at you. When Ronan is getting marry I think my affair is over and no more someone would keep an eye on me. But seemed like a new whispering is about to begin when there was a guy talked to me one day which is not long (probably two weeks ago) So you don't have to believe what I said in this case coz it could be my one sided imagination. I don't even dare to share this with my close mate coz if it is not clear she would say I think too much and she's probably right. I've seen him after talked one day. I smile to him and he smile in return, in a sudden I noticed that his blue eyes turn dark and expand its perimeter which I'm blush in responded. After that when I see him I'm just feel good with no reason and no explaination. Who is he? why he never exist before? As I talked to him that day only 10 mins and it was just general chat, nothing special. As far as I know he's been working here 6 months before I joined. Before that he worked in London for 5 yrs,he probably a few years younger than me. I remember I asked him if he planed to move or work in other country. he said no, he will work here for good or something like that. Oh he asked me what bring me to this country and I told him i'm married a kiwi guy. He is such a fine, gentle man, his face is calm, gentle & kind, which my mates said he looks like a real gentleman, this manner is typical for most kiwi guys I've seen. Every time he walks pass or into our work place I feel good, I don't know why but at least I can say his face make me feel good. I see him before but somehow I think he probably has his own family or partner and further more he works in management level and I'm as a labour. Even tho ppl in this country are no class but it is improper coz we work together, means i see him everyday but I wonder why he never exist in my head before... once this incident occured I tried to trace back when..... I traced back on 21-12-12 the compay party which I wore black dress and felt most sexy... coz after party I & my mates drove to Manukua city's Mall, she wanted to buy gift card and my husband would pick me up from there. At a parking mall while I got off her car, I heard someone whistle and I turn to look. it was a young boy, I notice above his upper lip is a light dark line it was his beard is about to grow lol he sits in a front seat and next to him was his bro (8 or 10yrs old) I covered my back hands so that he couldn't see my blood veins coz I don't want to dissapoint him that I could be his mother lol... He was there until my mate get off her car, then he starts his car and reverse away. And while we were walking up ladders to the mall I noticed someone stare at me from top ladder levels, once we walk passed him he didn't move but stare. When I was two ladder up levels from him he was still standing there so I turned to look at him to show him that I know you've been staring at me for sometime but the look he gave me back was I wanted to @#$% you. Instantly I'm insecure coz I experienced this in Thailand few times and thought it would never happen here.... Anyway, it was not on party day...., so I traced back before that and i remember he sat on a round table which his face turn toward me and when I turn to watch tv my eyes meet him first then tv, so our eyes met twice on that day (maybe this is the first signal that I unawared of). I wonder if that incident was his intention or just coincident ( talking as if i were single lol).... Anyway, I don't think he would offer me like Ronan did or did/said such thing to me coz of our work..... he comes to check this and that in our place everynow and then and somehow I feel like he knows that I feel good when I see his face that why he comes so often these days lol I'm just over flattered myself so no need to believe me coz it is too fresh. I don't know whether he has a partner but prefer not to ask coz it would make him think I like him which he probably would... Anyway, as long as I still alive I can't avoid being gossip and I take that a gossiper plays a part of this incident if it true. However, it is far beyond true but sometimes while I enjoy doing my house work, his gorgeous face is floating in my head make me want to scream out loud like Mr. James Arthur when he sings "Impossible, Impossible, Impossible, Impossible". I recalled on a day we chat he's kind of ask me if my husband or my marriage is good which I said good. I assumed he over heard something about me... Who would think a prince charming would give such a look to a lame woman like me, a woman who has insecure or loser look lol. I have no answer for this...maybe my lame desease is too strong. I wonder why when I was single where these gentlemen went and why they are just showing up now. My close work mate told me that if I don't want to hear more gossip I should stop talking to some guys at work and I do.... I don't think it would help much.When I first got a job I traveled home by bus and there was a kiwi guy asked me "will you marry me?' at a bus stop which I thought It was how ppl greeting each other here but i'm told later that that guy is not normal hahaha. I paid a bus fare for an elderly lady who can't afford it when I heard the bus driver kick her off a bus and once that old lady got off a bus (which is same bus stop as I) I ran after her and handed her $ 5 just incase she need to take another bus but she seemed shy and asked me while she's taking money "are you sure?" and when our eyes met I sensed how lonely and insecure she was. She might think i'm a poor and miserable asian soul coz I've accident from work that day but I think she is more poor and miserable than me. I assumed that to take money from someone in this country is not common especially from stranger. I met her again later then I learned she has no relatives, no kids and been living for a whole life, which is sad, isn't it?. I was asked by drug addict a couple time for money but they didn't do any harm to me. Which I think there are all kind of ppl everywhere.... I think of the lame association we met during New Year trip I learned something has been changed eg. Mr. Ostrich who has been single for most of time when I was in Thailand now having himself a gf and look like he proud to present his gf too. And his friend Mr. Turkey also get himself a gf. We met at Mr. Grizzly 's place. And the most surprising and wonderful news is Mr. Grizzly married to Ms. Angel, they are going to celebrate on 23-2-13 on the beach somewhere (my goodness I wish we could join them but too bad we can't) Let talk about Mr. Ostrich and Mr. Turkey's gfs. They are young, new generation, smart and the way they blend in social and make conversation is impressive. Further more they're kind of humble and made me feel comfy to chat with, which I like them. At the end of party I learned they have their own cars oh wow hahaha Mr. Turkey & his gf offered us a ride back to our hotel, we really appreciated their kindness. My assumption about male in term of choosing partner is you must be a self suffient (aka not in need financially) and instead being a taker, you should be a giver, maybe 50/50 or 40/60 giver in oneway or another if he/she can accepted. The most noticable about these two males is they are fresh, happy, clean and younger look, which mean you found the one. At some point, I understand Mr. Ostrich when he said long time ago "I wouldn't date or sex with any girl on tf coz if you ended in bed with someone you will be on a hot topic, starting from your genital size" up to your bed role". For Mr. Grizzly I was missing him alot during November last year, while I was reattaching a button to my husband's work pants. I thought of the way he did that to me after I fought with a young boy who wanted to sex me caused my button's pant slipped off. I do it because I love my husband and the way Mr. Grizzly did to me it must mean something and in a sudden I'm sad coz I supposed to be nice to him but I didn't. I thought how shallow I was but I'm glad and appreciated we are still good friend. Sometimes I want to know how he is but dare not to email him I don't know why. And to see him married someone that matched to his description I couldn't help to be happy for both of them. I like Ms. Angel, she's smart, successful, grounded, kind and young lady. she is a Manager in her late twenties which is rare for such young age. To see ppl I know happy it always make me happy. Good day..

Talking about my weak point, I can't hide my insecurity, so when I fight with my husband my look still show and when I'm asked by some of workmates i can't lie. And this lead to gossip.... everyone knows gossip is spread like fire. Start from one place and to anothers. Gossip is negative and when it is too much, negative could turn to opposite side. I don't hate a person who gossip and I think she doesn't a bad person but just sort of her personality as some woman like to talk and at least I should be aware what going on arround me. during Ronan period I'm being watched every move I made and think if you were me on a break you have over ten pair of eyes staring at you. When Ronan is getting marry I think my affair is over and no more someone would keep an eye on me. But seemed like a new whispering is about to begin when there was a guy talked to me one day which is not long (probably two weeks ago) So you don't have to believe what I said in this case coz it could be my one sided imagination. I don't even dare to share this with my close mate coz if it is not clear she would say I think too much and she's probably right. I've seen him after talked one day. I smile to him and he smile in return, in a sudden I noticed that his blue eyes turn dark and expand its perimeter which I'm blush in responded. After that when I see him I'm just feel good with no reason and no explaination. Who is he? why he never exist before? As I talked to him that day only 10 mins and it was just general chat, nothing special. As far as I know he's been working here 6 months before I joined. Before that he worked in London for 5 yrs,he probably a few years younger than me. I remember I asked him if he planed to move or work in other country. he said no, he will work here for good or something like that. Oh he asked me what bring me to this country and I told him i'm married a kiwi guy. He is such a fine, gentle man, his face is calm, gentle & kind, which my mates said he looks like a real gentleman, this manner is typical for most kiwi guys I've seen. Every time he walks pass or into our work place I feel good, I don't know why but at least I can say his face make me feel good. I see him before but somehow I think he probably has his own family or partner and further more he works in management level and I'm as a labour. Even tho ppl in this country are no class but it is improper coz we work together, means i see him everyday but I wonder why he never exist in my head before... once this incident occured I tried to trace back when..... I traced back on 21-12-12 the compay party which I wore black dress and felt most sexy... coz after party I & my mates drove to Manukua city's Mall, she wanted to buy gift card and my husband would pick me up from there. At a parking mall while I got off her car, I heard someone whistle and I turn to look. it was a young boy, I notice above his upper lip is a light dark line it was his beard is about to grow lol he sits in a front seat and next to him was his bro (8 or 10yrs old) I covered my back hands so that he couldn't see my blood veins coz I don't want to dissapoint him that I could be his mother lol... He was there until my mate get off her car, then he starts his car and reverse away. And while we were walking up ladders to the mall I noticed someone stare at me from top ladder levels, once we walk passed him he didn't move but stare. When I was two ladder up levels from him he was still standing there so I turned to look at him to show him that I know you've been staring at me for sometime but the look he gave me back was I wanted to @#$% you. Instantly I'm insecure coz I experienced this in Thailand few times and thought it would never happen here.... Anyway, it was not on party day...., so I traced back before that and i remember he sat on a round table which his face turn toward me and when I turn to watch tv my eyes meet him first then tv, so our eyes met twice on that day (maybe this is the first signal that I unawared of). I wonder if that incident was his intention or just coincident ( talking as if i were single lol).... Anyway, I don't think he would offer me like Ronan did or did/said such thing to me coz of our work..... he comes to check this and that in our place everynow and then and somehow I feel like he knows that I feel good when I see his face that why he comes so often these days lol I'm just over flattered myself so no need to believe me coz it is too fresh. I don't know whether he has a partner but prefer not to ask coz it would make him think I like him which he probably would... Anyway, as long as I still alive I can't avoid being gossip and I take that a gossiper plays a part of this incident if it true. However, it is far beyond true but sometimes while I enjoy doing my house work, his gorgeous face is floating in my head make me want to scream out loud like Mr. James Arthur when he sings "Impossible, Impossible, Impossible, Impossible". I recalled on a day we chat he's kind of ask me if my husband or my marriage is good which I said good. I assumed he over heard something about me... Who would think a prince charming would give such a look to a lame woman like me, a woman who has insecure or loser look lol. I have no answer for this...maybe my lame desease is too strong. I wonder why when I was single where these gentlemen went and why they are just showing up now. My close work mate told me that if I don't want to hear more gossip I should stop talking to some guys at work and I do.... I don't think it would help much.When I first got a job I traveled home by bus and there was a kiwi guy asked me "will you marry me?' at a bus stop which I thought It was how ppl greeting each other here but i'm told later that that guy is not normal hahaha. I paid a bus fare for an elderly lady who can't afford it when I heard the bus driver kick her off a bus and once that old lady got off a bus (which is same bus stop as I) I ran after her and handed her $ 5 just incase she need to take another bus but she seemed shy and asked me while she's taking money "are you sure?" and when our eyes met I sensed how lonely and insecure she was. She might think i'm a poor and miserable asian soul coz I've accident from work that day but I think she is more poor and miserable than me. I assumed that to take money from someone in this country is not common especially from stranger. I met her again later then I learned she has no relatives, no kids and been living for a whole life, which is sad, isn't it?. I was asked by drug addict a couple time for money but they didn't do any harm to me. Which I think there are all kind of ppl everywhere.... I think of the lame association we met during New Year trip I learned something has been changed eg. Mr. Ostrich who has been single for most of time when I was in Thailand now having himself a gf and look like he proud to present his gf too. And his friend Mr. Turkey also get himself a gf. We met at Mr. Grizzly 's place. And the most surprising and wonderful news is Mr. Grizzly married to Ms. Angel, they are going to celebrate on 23-2-13 on the beach somewhere (my goodness I wish we could join them but too bad we can't) Let talk about Mr. Ostrich and Mr. Turkey's gfs. They are young, new generation, smart and the way they blend in social and make conversation is impressive. Further more they're kind of humble and made me feel comfy to chat with, which I like them. At the end of party I learned they have their own cars oh wow hahaha Mr. Turkey & his gf offered us a ride back to our hotel, we really appreciated their kindness. My assumption about male in term of choosing partner is you must be a self suffient (aka not in need financially) and instead being a taker, you should be a giver, maybe 50/50 or 40/60 giver in oneway or another if he/she can accepted. The most noticable about these two males is they are fresh, happy, clean and younger look, which mean you found the one. At some point, I understand Mr. Ostrich when he said long time ago "I wouldn't date or sex with any girl on tf coz if you ended in bed with someone you will be on a hot topic, starting from your genital size" up to your bed role". For Mr. Grizzly I was missing him alot during November last year, while I was reattaching a button to my husband's work pants. I thought of the way he did that to me after I fought with a young boy who wanted to sex me caused my button's pant slipped off. I do it because I love my husband and the way Mr. Grizzly did to me it must mean something and in a sudden I'm sad coz I supposed to be nice to him but I didn't. I thought how shallow I was but I'm glad and appreciated we are still good friend. Sometimes I want to know how he is but dare not to email him I don't know why. And to see him married someone that matched to his description I couldn't help to be happy for both of them. I like Ms. Angel, she's smart, successful, grounded, kind and young lady. she is a Manager in her late twenties which is rare for such young age. To see ppl I know happy it always make me happy. Good day..

I thought I'm the only one who received this email..lol..

Hello Good afternoon everyone, I thought I posted a blog before I fly to Thailand during X'mas but I thought I was too rush so one I posted I instant log off and that's why it disapeared coz journal is too long. Anyway, I split this journal into two so that I can post all... Yesterday I made a call to my parent asking how they are... Dad said mom wants to talk, he handed a phone to mom. She tells me how much she missed me the other day. We talked about this and that in general.... She told me about a girl in our village who used to married to a European guy is now bought a rubber tree farm for her parent, cost over million baht. I told her that I'm unable to do that and it is not my expertise to trick ppl for money. mom said "I don't want you to do that it's no good it is sin. Just keep doing you work and save...". I sort of glad to hear she said so since some ppl say she got an kii nok son in law and I thought she's sort of depress from such remark but she handles thing well. My family likes my husband coz he looks like a nice guy and he is... When we visit my family my husband is grounded and can eat anything those villagers eat even Lab Koi (spicy raw beef, which he call Isaan sushi lol) this amazed my family. Further more he sort of calm and quiet and this charactoristic in men is charming... oh some ppl who see my husband or even kids said my husband is the most handsome farang in this village. I assumed that my husband is probably the most youngest farangs who married girls in our village. My husband & I are new to marry life and since we are from different culture and countries it is challenging. I'm a very disciplinary person in term of financial and love planning and predicting its result but my husband on the other hand..... So this is making us try to find out where is our balance point. Before I could be devastated if things don't meet my plan & prediction and it caused me mentally insecure. When I first here I have no work and I didn't know my husband used his credit card during my first arrive. When I found out that we indebted I told him I would help him pay off within 6 months after I work (we join bank) coz I don't how much I was going to earn but once I started work I managed pay off our debt within 6 weeks which I'm really proud of myself... I get minimum pay rate but with 50-60 +hrs working per week I only lag behind my husband couple hundred $ earn and If made permanent staff I could earn advance him coz apart from several hrs work, I will get a high rate paid as i'm told and other benefit. It doesn't matter who make the most income as I value feeling as the main factor. So when my husband wants to buy something I let him coz once he got everything he would probably stop buying.... Recently he wants to buy guitar which I have two already but he said he wants a semi electric one, so I said as long as you limit your drink and cigarett then I won't make any commend and he does. I'm satisfied that he doesn't drink and smoke much like before now. We have lot of music instruments which are Drum, electrical keyboard, sterio set, 46" smart tv etc.etc. and will be more.... As long as we don't create debt i'm fine. Some part of instrument can be useful eg my husband uses drum stick to massage my feet when I'm tired, sometime he massage my back hehehe. Apart from work hard I schedule on what day I do washing and cleaning I prefer to do it by myself coz if you wanted thing perfectly done you should do it by yourself which is always true. I have been living with him since Dec 2011 and twice i thought of raning away from him but once I think of when I lived with my family I fought with my siblings three times a day and still we lived together so why don't I'm open more and find solution to live with him, after all he is my love, my partner and one of the best things in my life. So I let loose my strictly discipline now. Thinking of when i was alone in Thailand I made some saving and it always meet my goal but now i'm sharing life with someone so I have to understand the word SHARE more and more. I told him one moring that "I can't believe that you & I are husband & wife since it was just yesterday that i'm single. He then tell me "it means to be..." I remember on my previous journal that i talked about Ronan, who offered me to take care of me. Last Thursday or Friday, one of my work mates told me that he is going to marry an indian girl which i'm happy for him. I don't want to talk about this much but to make it clear there is nothing between us. It was part of my mistake too to make matter worse while I was insecure I seek for asylum. One day at my break I talked to him "If I got fired or nowhere to go, will you take care of me?" he then said "of course I will look after you" since then things turn out of event he was kind of wanted to know when would I ran away or divorce even I told him if my marriage failed I would consider or prefer to stay with someone as partner which mean I don't want to marry anyone until i'm sure and he seemed to agree with that but one week later he came to me said he doesn't want to wait anymore since he's ready to settle and wants a wife. I feel like I shared two guys at the same time, one at work place and one at home that moment.It is not fair for both of them why I have to create hate between two guys who would never ever see each other. And since everyone deserves the best I don't want to keep anyone as my second best just becoz my temporary insecurity. During X'mas he keep asking me what I wanted for X'mas gift which I kept answer him I don't want anything and at the same time he kept asking me if I have cancelled my flight to Thailand. And several times I told him that our flight are confirmed and it'd been paid. I sensed that he was in a rush and wanted to know its result but I told him before that I don't want to think of anything and i can't promise him that I will leave my husband but somehow I feel like i gave him fault hope. Before things gone worse I decided to tell him that my husband is getting better.... which he then took a trip to some Island country to meet his gf... I don't want to share his personal part coz it his privacy so I better skip. I think of when he told me to hop in his car when he offers to give me a ride home and i'm refused, I did the right thing, otherwise how messy my life would be now (thank god). I like him coz he like me but he is in need and rush and it scare me to death. What I keep telling myself now is don't make any quick judge or decision when insecure, otherwise I would get another lesson to learn... It is such a huge relief when I heard he is going to marry, otherwise guilt would stay with me for a long time. I have a good work mate which I appreciated our friendship and adore her. We sometimes share lunch and when she knows I like her food she gives to me big pieces of her food, somehow she reminds me of my husband coz once he knows that I love that food he would stop having it or have it little for himself. I have so manythings to learn from her coz I'm new in this country and its cuture and environment especially at work place. Since she's been living here over 9 yrs she must have broad knowledge. Somehow I heard some ppl at work said she is rude but to me it the way asian is hahaha I sort of feeling that both of us are dumb & dumber in some ppl eyes here at our work place but they respect who you are so we don't feel depress at all since some ppl enjoy our silly behavior and dumbness. Some ppl like to have or make a laugh with us and it is not bad to have a laugh with ppl. Underneath imperfection I think she is the most beautiful person and one of the best things in my life. She is a same sort of me in some aspets, a giver but somehow when i'm with her I become a taker. We share common ideas and life in general and more over we value same thing and she's quite advance me in some aspects which teach me alot. I also have a new friend who's from Cambodia. Her first day at work she reminds me how I like when i'm new here coz she doesn't know how to react to ppl due to shy and doesn't know how to start conversation until I came to her and she followed me to sit and chat. Since then we sit together everyday. I like the way she's honest and direct talk which is same to me so I don't have to hide .... I consider myself lucky that I can find and have good friends every where I go... Talking about my weak point, I can't hide my insecurity, so when I fight with my husband my look still showing and when I be asked by some of workmates i can't lie ppl. And this lead to gossip.... everyone knows gossip is spread like fire. Start from one place and to anothers. Gossip is negative and when it is too much negative could turn to opposite way. To be continue....

Hello Good afternoon everyone, I thought I posted a blog before I fly to Thailand during X'mas but I thought I was too rush so one I posted I instant log off and that's why it disapeared coz journal is too long. Anyway, I split this journal into two so that I can post all... Yesterday I made a call to my parent asking how they are... Dad said mom wants to talk, he handed a phone to mom. She tells me how much she missed me the other day. We talked about this and that in general.... She told me about a girl in our village who used to married to a European guy is now bought a rubber tree farm for her parent, cost over million baht. I told her that I'm unable to do that and it is not my expertise to trick ppl for money. mom said "I don't want you to do that it's no good it is sin. Just keep doing you work and save...". I sort of glad to hear she said so since some ppl say she got an kii nok son in law and I thought she's sort of depress from such remark but she handles thing well. My family likes my husband coz he looks like a nice guy and he is... When we visit my family my husband is grounded and can eat anything those villagers eat even Lab Koi (spicy raw beef, which he call Isaan sushi lol) this amazed my family. Further more he sort of calm and quiet and this charactoristic in men is charming... oh some ppl who see my husband or even kids said my husband is the most handsome farang in this village. I assumed that my husband is probably the most youngest farangs who married girls in our village. My husband & I are new to marry life and since we are from different culture and countries it is challenging. I'm a very disciplinary person in term of financial and love planning and predicting its result but my husband on the other hand..... So this is making us try to find out where is our balance point. Before I could be devastated if things don't meet my plan & prediction and it caused me mentally insecure. When I first here I have no work and I didn't know my husband used his credit card during my first arrive. When I found out that we indebted I told him I would help him pay off within 6 months after I work (we join bank) coz I don't how much I was going to earn but once I started work I managed pay off our debt within 6 weeks which I'm really proud of myself... I get minimum pay rate but with 50-60 +hrs working per week I only lag behind my husband couple hundred $ earn and If made permanent staff I could earn advance him coz apart from several hrs work, I will get a high rate paid as i'm told and other benefit. It doesn't matter who make the most income as I value feeling as the main factor. So when my husband wants to buy something I let him coz once he got everything he would probably stop buying.... Recently he wants to buy guitar which I have two already but he said he wants a semi electric one, so I said as long as you limit your drink and cigarett then I won't make any commend and he does. I'm satisfied that he doesn't drink and smoke much like before now. We have lot of music instruments which are Drum, electrical keyboard, sterio set, 46" smart tv etc.etc. and will be more.... As long as we don't create debt i'm fine. Some part of instrument can be useful eg my husband uses drum stick to massage my feet when I'm tired, sometime he massage my back hehehe. Apart from work hard I schedule on what day I do washing and cleaning I prefer to do it by myself coz if you wanted thing perfectly done you should do it by yourself which is always true. I have been living with him since Dec 2011 and twice i thought of raning away from him but once I think of when I lived with my family I fought with my siblings three times a day and still we lived together so why don't I'm open more and find solution to live with him, after all he is my love, my partner and one of the best things in my life. So I let loose my strictly discipline now. Thinking of when i was alone in Thailand I made some saving and it always meet my goal but now i'm sharing life with someone so I have to understand the word SHARE more and more. I told him one moring that "I can't believe that you & I are husband & wife since it was just yesterday that i'm single. He then tell me "it means to be..." I remember on my previous journal that i talked about Ronan, who offered me to take care of me. Last Thursday or Friday, one of my work mates told me that he is going to marry an indian girl which i'm happy for him. I don't want to talk about this much but to make it clear there is nothing between us. It was part of my mistake too to make matter worse while I was insecure I seek for asylum. One day at my break I talked to him "If I got fired or nowhere to go, will you take care of me?" he then said "of course I will look after you" since then things turn out of event he was kind of wanted to know when would I ran away or divorce even I told him if my marriage failed I would consider or prefer to stay with someone as partner which mean I don't want to marry anyone until i'm sure and he seemed to agree with that but one week later he came to me said he doesn't want to wait anymore since he's ready to settle and wants a wife. I feel like I shared two guys at the same time, one at work place and one at home that moment.It is not fair for both of them why I have to create hate between two guys who would never ever see each other. And since everyone deserves the best I don't want to keep anyone as my second best just becoz my temporary insecurity. During X'mas he keep asking me what I wanted for X'mas gift which I kept answer him I don't want anything and at the same time he kept asking me if I have cancelled my flight to Thailand. And several times I told him that our flight are confirmed and it'd been paid. I sensed that he was in a rush and wanted to know its result but I told him before that I don't want to think of anything and i can't promise him that I will leave my husband but somehow I feel like i gave him fault hope. Before things gone worse I decided to tell him that my husband is getting better.... which he then took a trip to some Island country to meet his gf... I don't want to share his personal part coz it his privacy so I better skip. I think of when he told me to hop in his car when he offers to give me a ride home and i'm refused, I did the right thing, otherwise how messy my life would be now (thank god). I like him coz he like me but he is in need and rush and it scare me to death. What I keep telling myself now is don't make any quick judge or decision when insecure, otherwise I would get another lesson to learn... It is such a huge relief when I heard he is going to marry, otherwise guilt would stay with me for a long time. I have a good work mate which I appreciated our friendship and adore her. We sometimes share lunch and when she knows I like her food she gives to me big pieces of her food, somehow she reminds me of my husband coz once he knows that I love that food he would stop having it or have it little for himself. I have so manythings to learn from her coz I'm new in this country and its cuture and environment especially at work place. Since she's been living here over 9 yrs she must have broad knowledge. Somehow I heard some ppl at work said she is rude but to me it the way asian is hahaha I sort of feeling that both of us are dumb & dumber in some ppl eyes here at our work place but they respect who you are so we don't feel depress at all since some ppl enjoy our silly behavior and dumbness. Some ppl like to have or make a laugh with us and it is not bad to have a laugh with ppl. Underneath imperfection I think she is the most beautiful person and one of the best things in my life. She is a same sort of me in some aspets, a giver but somehow when i'm with her I become a taker. We share common ideas and life in general and more over we value same thing and she's quite advance me in some aspects which teach me alot. I also have a new friend who's from Cambodia. Her first day at work she reminds me how I like when i'm new here coz she doesn't know how to react to ppl due to shy and doesn't know how to start conversation until I came to her and she followed me to sit and chat. Since then we sit together everyday. I like the way she's honest and direct talk which is same to me so I don't have to hide .... I consider myself lucky that I can find and have good friends every where I go... Talking about my weak point, I can't hide my insecurity, so when I fight with my husband my look still showing and when I be asked by some of workmates i can't lie ppl. And this lead to gossip.... everyone knows gossip is spread like fire. Start from one place and to anothers. Gossip is negative and when it is too much negative could turn to opposite way. To be continue....

Good morning Tfs… I havn’t been logging in on TF for sometimes but I keep checking the site every now and then, but only 5 to 10 mins each time, so I hardly log in. I have been living in NZ for 9 months now and I think I’m doing ok. No home sick but when I see ppl posted food pictures it make me hungry and want to go back ..hehe.. I like many things in this country, its nature and its ppl are very impressive. Working culture & environment is quite different from what I used to in my home but I’m doing ok here. I arrived nz with my 9 months visitor visa and after 4 months I applied work visa. I got my work visa in late April and I got a job in mid June. I see many kiwi women work like men, I saw a woman drives a big truck and I thought to myself that if they can do hard work and I can… too. I went to recruitment agency with my Thai friends on second week of last June and after interviewed I got a job. It was not because I’m better than my friends but I think I’m chosen because they like my attitude. I told the interviewer that as I have no work experience here, I’m ready to take any job to work my way up. Then they gave me a second test paper which I failed half of my test but the agency called and gave me a paper of the corrected answer to rectify those wrong answers on my second test. I’m grateful that they given me opportunity and I’m not fail them coz I’m working as much as I can, which sometimes 60 hrs per week. Even my supervisor at work place kind of like me coz I’m quiet and do what I’m told. I almost give up on my first day at work coz it was not only too hard but also numerary and acurary too. Couple weeks past my husband asked me if I still wanted to work coz he hears me keep moaning of sore body everyday, life up & stack up boxes (6.5 kg each box weight) but I told him that I’m ok. I am a smallest person at the factory and I do what others do, we all work together as a team or family. They think I’m 25 yrs or younger and when they know my real age, they are acting in disbelieve. Some keep asking what eye cream I’m using coz she wants to get rid of her wrinkle eyes, I tell her the truth that I use only warm water wash my face in the morning and that’s it, and no night or day cream at all. Some ask me what size of my bra and they feel my breast too. I’m bullied by some coz I guess they may thought that I’m a bad person, having an affair at work but it’s nothing proofed as I’m having an affair. There is a guy, he seems interested in me but what he can do is only saying but no action have been done…and later on when they learned that is not my fault, that guy likes me, since I have done nothing at all. then they are nice to me but still keep an eyes on me & him on coffee break and lunch times, especially when the guy sits next to me. He seems like a nice guy, tall, blond & slim and he looks like my idol 10 years ago, the boy band called “boy zone“, (Ronan Keating). I like to look at him coz he remind me of my idol, I’m not proud of my behavior that when I see a good looking guy on the way I can’t take my eyes of him but this isn’t something new to me, its my nature since I were born. First I talked with Ronan when I worked there a couple weeks he started make a conversation by asking me what’s my star sign while he’s holding a newspaper on astrology page and then he asked if I have a friend living here to introduce him, I said most of my friends are living in Thailand. He seemed interested on what I said and asked about me & my husband I told him that we have different lifestyle and we are trying to balance our live together., then he offers to take care of me and offer me to give me drive home but I never take…. And later on he asked about my visa status and he said once I got resident visa, then divorce my husband, he’ll wait until then. I thought that he was joking so I said, are you going to wait that long? And he said yes… and one thing to another our conversation is far more than friends. He gave me a piece of paper and I won’t tell you what he wrote. He likes nudging me while I was working, sometimes nudge on my upper shoulder but mostly around my elbow area, which my work mate told me that he must be very crazy about me, even some girls are showing their interested in him but he has his condition as someone about his age (he‘s older than me 1 yr) and etc…. One day I met him at factory‘s corridor I remember he said to me that “when I come to work and thinking of meet you here, it makes me want to come to work everyday†Wow! I feel like…One day he sits next to me and I couldn’t help to asked him “how come you are not dating?†he said he does dating but nothing serious coz he waits for someone special. And when I asked what qualification in a woman are you looking for?. He said someone like me, everything just like me aka copycat. And that what he asking for . I can’t and I don’t introduce my friends to him coz he has his conditions and even if I introduce my friend to him and if it didn’t work out both he & my friend would hate me in the end of the day hehehe. So, it is going to be like this until he found his someone special… I don’t mind ppl keep an eyes on both of us coz I getting used to of it. I wish him find someone special soon coz I wanted to see him a happy man and hearing he says lonely to me… is as if I gave him hope. I don’t know what future bring and at this moment I have never thought of divorcing my husband, coz I loved him and still want to take care of him and make him happy no matter what. Sometimes I just feel like god I just live with my husband for short period…. Talking about work place I love my work and I get used to of hard working coz there isn’t me who work hard but all of us too. When I was in Thailand most of my friends call me “hard core†but once I’m here I’m just too naïve hehehe…in my work place they are quite hard core than I expect and my husband said you woman talk even worse than men… I asked my husband one day that “ am I pretty?†coz some of my work mates said so coz normally I don’t hear this word from same sex and the pretty word is inapplicable to me hahaha, coz since I were remember the first word I heard from my family is ugly and never shared my ugliness to any of my family member, and when I grow up in mid 20’s or early 30’s my bro kept told me that “you’d never experience what a guy’s thing taste like†which wasn’t bother me at all and the way that he said I’m remind him of homoerectus isn’t affected me at all, until I accidentally saw homoerectus on internet not long ago, at first react I saw it, I touch my cheek and asking myself ‘am I look that ugly?â€. I told my husband that when women say I’m pretty it makes me feel funny. He then asks me to score 1 to 10 of how I think of my look. I told him that I score myself 5, he said I gave myself lower than he thinks…Hahaha I am pretty! Ho ho ho… I got to go back to my guitar & my key board…I have lots of toys at the moment…I wish everyone have a happy sunshine day!

Good morning Tfs… I havn’t been logging in on TF for sometimes but I keep checking the site every now and then, but only 5 to 10 mins each time, so I hardly log in. I have been living in NZ for 9 months now and I think I’m doing ok. No home sick but when I see ppl posted food pictures it make me hungry and want to go back ..hehe.. I like many things in this country, its nature and its ppl are very impressive. Working culture & environment is quite different from what I used to in my home but I’m doing ok here. I arrived nz with my 9 months visitor visa and after 4 months I applied work visa. I got my work visa in late April and I got a job in mid June. I see many kiwi women work like men, I saw a woman drives a big truck and I thought to myself that if they can do hard work and I can… too. I went to recruitment agency with my Thai friends on second week of last June and after interviewed I got a job. It was not because I’m better than my friends but I think I’m chosen because they like my attitude. I told the interviewer that as I have no work experience here, I’m ready to take any job to work my way up. Then they gave me a second test paper which I failed half of my test but the agency called and gave me a paper of the corrected answer to rectify those wrong answers on my second test. I’m grateful that they given me opportunity and I’m not fail them coz I’m working as much as I can, which sometimes 60 hrs per week. Even my supervisor at work place kind of like me coz I’m quiet and do what I’m told. I almost give up on my first day at work coz it was not only too hard but also numerary and acurary too. Couple weeks past my husband asked me if I still wanted to work coz he hears me keep moaning of sore body everyday, life up & stack up boxes (6.5 kg each box weight) but I told him that I’m ok. I am a smallest person at the factory and I do what others do, we all work together as a team or family. They think I’m 25 yrs or younger and when they know my real age, they are acting in disbelieve. Some keep asking what eye cream I’m using coz she wants to get rid of her wrinkle eyes, I tell her the truth that I use only warm water wash my face in the morning and that’s it, and no night or day cream at all. Some ask me what size of my bra and they feel my breast too. I’m bullied by some coz I guess they may thought that I’m a bad person, having an affair at work but it’s nothing proofed as I’m having an affair. There is a guy, he seems interested in me but what he can do is only saying but no action have been done…and later on when they learned that is not my fault, that guy likes me, since I have done nothing at all. then they are nice to me but still keep an eyes on me & him on coffee break and lunch times, especially when the guy sits next to me. He seems like a nice guy, tall, blond & slim and he looks like my idol 10 years ago, the boy band called “boy zone“, (Ronan Keating). I like to look at him coz he remind me of my idol, I’m not proud of my behavior that when I see a good looking guy on the way I can’t take my eyes of him but this isn’t something new to me, its my nature since I were born. First I talked with Ronan when I worked there a couple weeks he started make a conversation by asking me what’s my star sign while he’s holding a newspaper on astrology page and then he asked if I have a friend living here to introduce him, I said most of my friends are living in Thailand. He seemed interested on what I said and asked about me & my husband I told him that we have different lifestyle and we are trying to balance our live together., then he offers to take care of me and offer me to give me drive home but I never take…. And later on he asked about my visa status and he said once I got resident visa, then divorce my husband, he’ll wait until then. I thought that he was joking so I said, are you going to wait that long? And he said yes… and one thing to another our conversation is far more than friends. He gave me a piece of paper and I won’t tell you what he wrote. He likes nudging me while I was working, sometimes nudge on my upper shoulder but mostly around my elbow area, which my work mate told me that he must be very crazy about me, even some girls are showing their interested in him but he has his condition as someone about his age (he‘s older than me 1 yr) and etc…. One day I met him at factory‘s corridor I remember he said to me that “when I come to work and thinking of meet you here, it makes me want to come to work everyday†Wow! I feel like…One day he sits next to me and I couldn’t help to asked him “how come you are not dating?†he said he does dating but nothing serious coz he waits for someone special. And when I asked what qualification in a woman are you looking for?. He said someone like me, everything just like me aka copycat. And that what he asking for . I can’t and I don’t introduce my friends to him coz he has his conditions and even if I introduce my friend to him and if it didn’t work out both he & my friend would hate me in the end of the day hehehe. So, it is going to be like this until he found his someone special… I don’t mind ppl keep an eyes on both of us coz I getting used to of it. I wish him find someone special soon coz I wanted to see him a happy man and hearing he says lonely to me… is as if I gave him hope. I don’t know what future bring and at this moment I have never thought of divorcing my husband, coz I loved him and still want to take care of him and make him happy no matter what. Sometimes I just feel like god I just live with my husband for short period…. Talking about work place I love my work and I get used to of hard working coz there isn’t me who work hard but all of us too. When I was in Thailand most of my friends call me “hard core†but once I’m here I’m just too naïve hehehe…in my work place they are quite hard core than I expect and my husband said you woman talk even worse than men… I asked my husband one day that “ am I pretty?†coz some of my work mates said so coz normally I don’t hear this word from same sex and the pretty word is inapplicable to me hahaha, coz since I were remember the first word I heard from my family is ugly and never shared my ugliness to any of my family member, and when I grow up in mid 20’s or early 30’s my bro kept told me that “you’d never experience what a guy’s thing taste like†which wasn’t bother me at all and the way that he said I’m remind him of homoerectus isn’t affected me at all, until I accidentally saw homoerectus on internet not long ago, at first react I saw it, I touch my cheek and asking myself ‘am I look that ugly?â€. I told my husband that when women say I’m pretty it makes me feel funny. He then asks me to score 1 to 10 of how I think of my look. I told him that I score myself 5, he said I gave myself lower than he thinks…Hahaha I am pretty! Ho ho ho… I got to go back to my guitar & my key board…I have lots of toys at the moment…I wish everyone have a happy sunshine day!

aahh...too bad i can't watch vdos coz my computer do not allowed...one of my fav song is against all and odds or something.....

Congrats....and all the best for both of you

Good choice.....Star is my neighbor pet dog and it's jack russel breed but my favorite is beagle coz i love their eyes.

wow....she is sweet n cute....i'm happy for you, a proud dad!

while he was talking to you by phone, his accents would tell if he is German or......... but one of my friend lost her 4000 baht for this type of man from TF before and it was long time ago.