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PeterH61

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Everything posted by PeterH61

  1. PeterH61

    Blonde jokes

    1. A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator with a man. They both noticed he had some dandruff on his shirt, but were too nice to say anything to him about it. When he finally got out two floors later, the brunette said, "Wow, somebody should give that man some Head n Shoulders" and the blonde replied, "How do you give him shoulders?" 2. A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, she shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "****, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" 3. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!" 4. A blonde went to a flying school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, then watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan..." 5. A blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within a half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately flipping the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. She replied, "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, I’m rechecking my answers!!" 6. One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says, "I'd like to buy this TV". He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes". The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens. Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses again for the same reason. She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?" He replied “That's a microwave."
  2. Some fantastic pictures here Fay, thanks for sharing them. Hoping to make it to Thailand for Songkran and this wat is definitely on my list to remind myself about after 25 years away.
  3. PeterH61

    Men in my life # 2

    Soda, you're a gem - but if you rate me as "sort of handsome" ... well I think you need spectacles as much as I do, if not more :-) But thanks so much for the compliment
  4. The worrying thing is that this guy who pulled a gun was a COP!!! If the cops can't control themselves and show a bit of restraint what hope is there for others??
  5. PeterH61

    Airports

    Geee, have you flown to Samui with Bangkok Airways recently??? Maybe you wouldn't be so keen :-)
  6. PeterH61

    Blizzard of '09

    'snow gtood, no good at all - we're getting much the same 4,000km to the east here in London, always manages to catch us out. Cue Bing Crosby singing "I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas...."
  7. Let's all go "barking" mad this Christmas :-)
  8. AllI want for Chwithmath ith my two fwont teeth ... So I could with you Mewwy Chwithmath
  9. PeterH61

    London snow

    When men were all asleep the snow came flying, In large white flakes falling on the city brown, Stealthily and perpetually settling and loosely lying, Hushing the latest traffic of the drowsy town; Deadening, muffling, stifling its murmurs failing; Lazily and incessantly floating down and down: Silently sifting and veiling road, roof and railing; Hiding difference, making unevenness even, Into angles and crevices softly drifting and sailing.Robert Seymour Bridges (1844 - 1930)
  10. PeterH61

    London snow

    When men were all asleep the snow came flying, In large white flakes falling on the city brown, Stealthily and perpetually settling and loosely lying, Hushing the latest traffic of the drowsy town; Deadening, muffling, stifling its murmurs failing; Lazily and incessantly floating down and down: Silently sifting and veiling road, roof and railing; Hiding difference, making unevenness even, Into angles and crevices softly drifting and sailing.Robert Seymour Bridges (1844 - 1930)
  11. Nicky, I suspect Denmark and UK are in the same cold air system - Medvedev probably aimed it at us deliberately :-)
  12. PeterH61

    Dear Santa...

    You forgot the "Grinch" DVD :-)
  13. Scientifically, intense cold can cause the crystalline structire of metals to break down, resulting in metal fractures - so it IS possible to freeze the balls off a brass monkey :-) Certainly feels like it here in London :-(
  14. Interesting - similar principle to the strobe markings on a good audio turntable
  15. PeterH61

    Men are like

    Men are like bottles of gin - one a night should be enough for any woman
  16. When Peach came over to London in October she brought me some packet Thai curry pastes the same brand (Lobo), I've been enjoying a taste of Thailand ever since :-) As always, it looks delicious Aum and I SOOOOOO love prawns in a good curry sauce
  17. Thank you Aom for allypour hard work organising it
  18. Unfortunately, like Pyotr & Gain, I won't be in LOS, but I wish everyone involved a happy and fulfilling day - especially the multiple disabled guests. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far.
  19. Shannon, the warship moored near Tower Bridge IS the one that was converted into a museum. It's name is H.M.S. Belfast and it was first commissioned into service with the Royal Navy in August 1939, less than a month before the start of World War II. It was involved in the Battle of the North Cape in December 1943, in which the German warship Scharnhorst was sunk and also saw action in the Korean War. It was retired from naval service in 1966 and towed to its present position in the Thames in 1971. So glad you enjoyed your visit to my country, please come again sometime :-)
  20. If he's so keen on lip-synching AND putting his mouth to the wrong end, I wonder what happens when he kisses his gf :-)
  21. Have a really gr8 time in Thailand Rainer - BTW I think you'll find that airlines based in the Gulf reguion, Etihad, Qatar, Emirates etc do serve alcohol. They're pragmatic enough to realise that they couldn't attract passengers if they handicapped themselves with a strict ban on it. Likewise, during the stopover in the Gulf region (I assume you're flying to the airline's base airport in the Gulf region, then flying on from there to Bangkok), they don't mind you having a drink in the airside departureor transit lounges either because technically, it's not in their national territory. Anyway, in the meantoime, let's keep voting and building up a good total for the orphans.
  22. One speaker right at the end: "She stands for religious freedom in America" Is THAT why several bible belt states have banned the Harry Potter movies?? She's like a sort of female George W Bush, but with only a fraction of the intelligence :-)
  23. Shannon, next time you come to London (if there is a next time) try to make it in the summer and in particular take a riverboat trip from Westminster Pier to Greenwich. You can get some really great pictures of many of the most famous sights from the river and it will give you a completely different perspective on the city. BTW, the guy in the Underground with a dog, if a ticket inspector had entered the train he would have been charged an extra fare or a ten pound fine.
  24. We'll all vote for each other guys, that's what it's all about - mutual support and most of all funds for the orphans. Thanks fellas :-)
  25. PeterH61

    My room number

    Nice one Frank - just as well it was room 808 not 69 :-)
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