English_Bob

She could try getting a job... ...or maybe this IS her trying to get a job.

I could kill pretty much all dog breeds (assuming it's one on one rather than a pack). A cow would be hard work, but they don't have much in the way of defence - probably go for knee joints until it couldn't stand or turn. Is it a stand-up fight? It's going to stand and fight, not run away? I can't be arsed chasing them down. Same for horses. I could handle most snakes - I used to keep them and was pretty good with them. Small alligators and crocs... let's say up to a metre and a half. Anything bigger than that would be trouble. Sharks under a metre if I was in waist deep water. In deep water, I guess even a small shark could pick me off. None of the big cats - they're just too fast and strong. And any monkey/ape bigger than a metre tall would be problematic too. I doubt I could take them. Hippos, elephants, rhinos and bears are all out. So are those elephant seals and walruses, just too much blubber, Those African grazers are all fighters too - zebras, antelopes, wildebeaste, giraffes... **** 'em, I wouldn't know where to start. All of the above assumes fully grown animals... Babies? I reckon I could do most of them... Except a whale.

I did it... I was sitting with my girl in Pomodoro (used to be near Suk soi 5) having some pasta - about 4pm. From outside we heard some shouting (from a farang) and some ghastly screaming from a Thai girl. Looking down the road we could see a Thai guy dragging a woman up the street by her hair. The farang guy shouted at him to stop but he didn't. I left my meal at the table and walked out of the restaurant. I arrived just in time to catch the guy's arm as he had started beating the girl. He looked shocked and I told (in Thai) him to let go of the girl. He stopped. I asked what was going on. He told me he was her brother and he was taking her back home to see her mother. The girl denied it, saying he wasn't her brother. Knowing that this could take some time, I said we'd take a walk up to Soi 4 and talk to the police at the traffic box and they could sort it out. As we started up the road, the guy grabbed the girl's hair again - as though she needed to be dragged everywhere. And she started screaming again. I told him to stop again. We took another couple of steps and he grabbed her again. This time, I shouted (in English) "Stop, touching the ******* girl! NOW!" As soon as I did this, he dropped on the floor onto his knees and waied me... Totally ******* embarrassing. I told him to get up again and walked them down the road until I saw a policeman. I explained what had happened and went back to finish my pasta. The staff in the restaurant said I was 'a good man' for helping the girl. My girlfriend thought I was awesome because I didn't run or break a sweat... 'Just like in the movies.' But she told me that she listened to the gossip from the bystanders watching the event. Apparently, the girl was a hooker, I was her customer, the Thai guy was her pimp and I'd refused to pay them. There must have been a couple of hundred people stopped and watching - 4pm on Sukhumvit Road? Came to a standstill while they invented a story that didn't fit the circumstances at all. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Every time. I once saw a gang beating four guys to death (probably) at Songkran in Chiang Mai. These poor fuckers were stripped naked and a gang of thugs were beating their bodies with long wooden sticks. They weren't even twitching anymore. It was right at the top of the moat at 9pm with 500 people watching from their cars and from the pavements. I was on my motorbike, saw it and rode on without stopping. It stayed with me for a long time. I still feel like I should have done something.

Nope... You'd better go back to my post and see what I quoted... Or just go back to page 1 and see the rules of the game.

I like the way this game is going.

I might just go back and change the rules so that only I can win... (Next person to post will die before midnight on the same day... I have cursed this forum)

Early in the morning before she wakes up and starts asking awkward questions... eg "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

Everything is awesome in my life. Work is good. Got plenty of money. I'm healthy and still good looking enough to date hot girls if I want. I'm a bit worried that other people might get jealous of my champagne lifestyle. What's the best way to tell them to suck a bag of dicks without coming across as rude?

Jeeeesus!! Not enough that you stood the poor girl up. You had to sleep with her too? What a douchebag!

Or she may have a penis she doesn't know how to tell you about.

What a *****... I'd love to be 200 metres away from him on a still, clear day with no-one between him and my crosshairs.

I think they should be taken away from all adults (within a 100 yards of my location).

Exactly. And if that student had been allowed to own a chainsaw, he could have cut his feet off and swum to safety. (Apart from the fact he'd been shot dead first)

OK... So let's choose a place with lots of doors so he doesn't know which one we are behind. How about HomePro?

Let's make a welcome party for him and hide behind the door.