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About biachung

  • Rank
    Original TF'er
  • Birthday 12/09/1970
  1. There's only one thing you can say to a client who says that to you, and that is F**k you too"
  2. Shark fins trade - undercover

    That's all good cos apparently eating shark fin soup (and whale meet) may cause sterility in males but also harm young children and pregnant mothers due to the high content of mercury. Sharks x 100 million per year. Even the chinese couldn't sustain that loss.
  3. The lucky Frog.

    A geezer takes the day off work and goes golfing. On the third hole he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears "Rabbit. 9 Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Rabbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 8 inches from the cup. He's shocked and says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply's "Rabbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Rabbit. 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog reply, "Rabbit. Las Vegas." They go to "Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Rabbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, he asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Rabbit. $2000. Black 10." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across them table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Rabbit, Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 16-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
  4. Swimming Blonde.

    A blond, a brunette and a redhead were standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English Channel. After some discussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set. One day later, the redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn’t be far behind, so she sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the brunette finally came into sight. “What took you so long?” inquired the redhead. “There were some strong currents out there! But I’m here now! Am I the last?” replied the brunette. “No. Blondie is still out there somewhere.” They decided to wait. Day after day, the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the fifth day the blonde came into view. Once on dry land the brunette asked the blonde, “What took you so long?” “What do you expect? You guys cheated,” replied the indignant blonde, “You used your hands!”
  5. Men versus Women quickies!

    How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer the sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me,"What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust." In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said to her,"I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said. "God, I wish I had your will power." Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
  6. dsd

  7. ..

  8. Blonde joke

    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is", she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
  9. quick jokes

    How do you make fat attractive?Put a nipple on it.Whats the difference between a light on and a hard onYou can still sleep with a light on.
  10. Warning to Men:

    Police warn all clubbers, partygoers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is usually found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans from taps and in large "kegs". "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.> Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sex with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship". It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage". Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory woman administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.
  11. Sexual Confessional

    A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Tell me all of your sins, my daughter." "Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times," she says. The priest thinks about this long and hard, and says, "Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass, and drink it." "Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?" "No," the priest says, "but it'll wipe that smile off your face!
  12. 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 9) Everyone who has just read no.5 has just typed it into a calculator. 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong! 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 24) You never ever run out of salt. 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.36) You can't sing the blues if you drive a Mercedes.