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As a Thai who has spent some time abroad I consider myself able to evaluate whether a farang, (I use this term endearingly) has been properly assimilated into Thai society. So I thought it might be useful to my many farang friends and readers to devise a simple test to help guide farang who may be wondering whether they have indeed successfully made the seamless transition into becoming a Thai. Here is my simple test. - You're a farang if you still comprehend satire and sarcasm and find it amusing. I have written about this in my previous articles, but for the benefit of touchy Thai readers who might find my sweeping generalisations offensive it is certainly not intended as such. Satire and sarcasm can land you in deep water so please exercise it with extreme caution. - You're a farang if you still can't understand why Thai women marry Thai men. Most farang think Thai men are women-suppressing, self-aggrandising, backward-thinking, chain-smoking, whiskey-guzzling, time-wasting delinquents. Farang simply don't understand why a nice Thai girl would marry someone that is devoid of any endearing or redeeming qualities commonly found in many farang men. Well, this might be news to you, but getting married in this country is often not about what the woman wants in a partner, but rather what her Thai parents deem acceptable as someone that's going to become their daughter's husband. Many Thai marriages are family affairs. - You're a farang if you still think it is important to be punctual and get extremely irritated with Thais' nonchalant attitude towards tardiness. Here is some sound advice when making an appointment. If you've got an appointment with a Thai at 5pm, add another 15 minutes. If the meeting is on Friday, you'd better add 30 minutes. If the person you're meeting is a Thai woman, you'd better add an hour. Now you've got the idea. - You're a farang if you love Max, your golden retriever, more than you love your wife. The English are especially guilty of this. The love that the English have for their dogs is world-famous. Only a fatal accident or an earthquake above seven on the Richter scale would prevent an Englishman from walking his dog once a day after supper. Of course, Thais are also extremely fond of their canine friends. That is, until man's best friend _ in a few certain provinces _ provides their master with a cheap alternative to your Christmas turkey. - You're a farang if you still can't appreciate gossiping, or have yet to master the technique. Gossiping for Thais is more than pastime. Rumours and innuendos have become one of the foundations of our entire culture. The way that Thais behave socially has simply not kept up with the great strides we have made technologically or economically. Essentially, we behave as though we are Hobbits of the Shire where everyone else's business is our own. Unfortunately our village mentality leads us to cherry-picking facts to accommodate prejudices. The truth in many cases is buried under a huge pile of putrid lies and comtemptible deceit. - You're a farang if you still walk a Bangkok zebra crossing with total confidence passing vehicles will screech to a halt and allow you safe passage. Many farang have tried this but unfortunately not many have lived to tell their tale. - You're a farang if you still think Red Bull has farang origins. - You're a farang if after a few years of living in Thailand you still prefer using a fork rather than a spoon to eat rice. - You're a farang if you still expect Thai politicians to resign over offences like committing adultery while in office. The resignation of someone like General Patraeus, a decorated war hero and the director of the Central Intelligence Agency over an admitted affair with his married biographer would be unheard of here. Recently in the United Kingdom, government Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell had to hand in his resignation to the prime minister because he swore at a Downing Street police officer and called him a "pleb". A few years before the Mitchell affair, the then-prime minister Gordon Brown of the previous Labour Government resigned as party leader after that little hiccup known as "losing a general election". In Thailand we prefer our political and military leaders to be unshackled by high ethical and moral standards, unhindered by the demands of personal accountability and unburdened by the sense of shame that would make lesser men breakdown under the glare of public scrutiny. - And lastly, you're a farang, if after living here for a decade your Thai is still only good enough to order chicken rice and iced tea. However, for you uninspired farang who find it hard to learn Thai, look no further than His Excellency Mark Kent, the British Ambassador who gave a whole welcome speech in Thai at a lovely gathering held in the Ambassador's Residence which I attended recently. For you Brits out there, now you know who to call for free Thai lessons! http://www.bangkokpost.com/opinion/opinion/323406/how-to-tell-whether-you-re-still-a-farang

OK, FIRST OF ALL I DONT WANT THIS TO GET MESSY the topic of a simarlar name provoked a lot of emotion in the responces so i thought 'i wonder if this topic will sink or float.' i'm not even sure its a good idea to post this as i've been a bad lad myself in the PAST..........I SAID PAST. so i think both are as a bad as each other on the whole, with lies and unfaithfull behaviour. i know alot of farang guys who have been rinsed for money and a few who have had to take thier g/f to hospital as she engages in self harm and loads of girls broken hearted by farang guys (they seem to get replacments pretty bloody quick though)..............THE GLOVES ARE OFF.............BUT NOT TOO SERIOUS OK .................IT TOOK 20 MINUTES TO PLUCK UP THE COURAGE TO POST THIS :?

I have a joke or a line of piss take about every race of people, ready for any occassion. Now what i want is the jokes Thai people have about Farangs or Any Nation on the planet. They better be funny.

Ive noticed that lots of farang guys once stepping foot on thailand they, esp the good looking and young ones, suddenly transform into "players" and start sleeping around, lying or cheating as if it is somehow an acceptible behavior. Some may be honest to the girls they date about their infinite needs for different women every other night. My best friend is pretty, sexy, smart and real nice. Her only problem is she likes farang men too much and all of the farang guys shes dated over five yrs turned out to be a**holes. They either lie, cheat or simply openly promiscuous. My poor friend simply loses her dignity and self esteem little by little. A lot of times my farang friends say its the thais that behave like this having many "gigs" and farangs just follow. Uhh good excuse, so overnight ur willing to give up all ur standards, moral and values becos u moved to a f**ked up place filled with f**ked up ppl..what happens if its ok in thailand to have sex with children? Im just curious if u boys r aware of the consequences of ur behaviors. What do u think happened to these girls and thai society in general. From my point of view its degrading my country and women. Just becos we dont hang women for sleeping around like in muslim countries doesnt mean its ok for u to fully load ur stuff onto our land and create ur own little western colony. Be more cultural sensitive and see real thailand for god's sake!

Been a long curiosity, I can't exacty work out mine....BUT i found most Thai guys pretty boring and often come with poor communication ability... A lot of them are also too emotional and get jealous easily. My first bf was Thai, but he spent a lot of times abroad - I think this type is the most perfect type of Thais to date... bc they are like 2 in 1 kinda thing... Westernizedly fun and open-minded & Thaily sweet & caring. I don't really bother too much about dating ppl - but if i have to choose to go on a date between a Thai and Western... I'd go for western first - no doubt. i find it's by far easier for me to have conversations with them... And good communication is A MUST!!! So...What's your reasons girls?

I learned from other topics that Farang men can't understand Thai women and Thai women can't understand Farang men. It seems to be a good idea to tell the women what we don't like. So they can learn, understand and remember. Ladies first ( women should get the chance to learn first) This are my points: a) unability to discuss a problem the way they use a knife to hurt us c} the kind of cloth checking if we arrive late at home after a very hard and long working day