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Dirty jokes


amarone
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I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so went over.

"Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked.

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[TD]"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled.

"Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick."

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[TD]In the swimming pool changing rooms my son seemed amazed that my penis was so much bigger than his, so I patiently explained why that was then asked him if he understood what I'd said.

"Yes Mummy, it's because you're from Thailand".

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Why am I not surprised? ;)

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  • 2 months later...
funnier than anything you have ever come out with!

In this case - good night, Western Culture!

But wait - it's just a single opinion by a skirt wearing, sheep attending (in which manner ever) guy from a tiny, wind-ridden island. So maybe there IS still hope for our culture.....

Edited by kaunitz
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I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so went over.

"Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked.

[TABLE=width: 100%]

[TR]

[TD]"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled.

"Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick."

[/TD]

[/TR]

[/TABLE]

Oh... I met her.

;-)

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In this case - good night, Western Culture!

But wait - it's just a single opinion by a skirt wearing, sheep attending (in which manner ever) guy from a tiny, wind-ridden island. So maybe there IS still hope for our culture.....

And sure a schnitzel munching dickhead like yourself will be a bastion of culture for all to follow...Jesus do you seriously not realise how dull, boring and uninteresting you are? I've heard speeches by long dead Belgian Prime Ministers that were more stimulating than having to read your crap

Edited by Stramash
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It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a quid coin in the saucer.

'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the quid for?'

'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'. 'I asked him what I should give you'.

He said, '**** him. Give him a quid.'

She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'

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