Teddy Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 Man was caught by his girlfriend watching porn, she walks in, sits on his cock and finishes him off, goes to make him dinner and pours him a beer, comes back and sucks him off while he eats. Carlsberg don't do girlfriends....... But Thailand does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so went over. "Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked. [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD]"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled. "Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick." [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 15, 2011 Report Share Posted November 15, 2011 [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD]In the swimming pool changing rooms my son seemed amazed that my penis was so much bigger than his, so I patiently explained why that was then asked him if he understood what I'd said. "Yes Mummy, it's because you're from Thailand".[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted November 15, 2011 Report Share Posted November 15, 2011 [TABLE=width: 100%][TR] [TD]In the swimming pool changing rooms my son seemed amazed that my penis was so much bigger than his, so I patiently explained why that was then asked him if he understood what I'd said. "Yes Mummy, it's because you're from Thailand". [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Why am I not surprised? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 4, 2012 Report Share Posted February 4, 2012 As I was lying in my Bangkok hotel room watching one of them suck my cock whilst the other sucked on my balls, I couldn't help but think that I really should have listened to my friend and bought a Mosquito net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 As I was lying in my Bangkok hotel room watching one of them suck my cock whilst the other sucked on my balls, I couldn't help but think that I really should have listened to my friend and bought a Mosquito net. And you REALLY think that this is funny??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 And you REALLY think that this is funny??? funnier than anything you have ever come out with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) funnier than anything you have ever come out with! In this case - good night, Western Culture! But wait - it's just a single opinion by a skirt wearing, sheep attending (in which manner ever) guy from a tiny, wind-ridden island. So maybe there IS still hope for our culture..... Edited February 5, 2012 by kaunitz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so went over."Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked. [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD]"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled. "Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick." [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Oh... I met her. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) In this case - good night, Western Culture!But wait - it's just a single opinion by a skirt wearing, sheep attending (in which manner ever) guy from a tiny, wind-ridden island. So maybe there IS still hope for our culture..... And sure a schnitzel munching dickhead like yourself will be a bastion of culture for all to follow...Jesus do you seriously not realise how dull, boring and uninteresting you are? I've heard speeches by long dead Belgian Prime Ministers that were more stimulating than having to read your crap Edited February 5, 2012 by Stramash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 Oh... I met her.;-) You're such a hiso *****. And dirty little tramp to boot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 You're such a hiso *****. And dirty little tramp to boot... Errm... (thought you'd get it).... didn't you send her to Charley Brown's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 Errm... (thought you'd get it).... didn't you send her to Charley Brown's? Well sorry for bringing you business!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 Well sorry for bringing you business!!!! 'Sending', you Caledonian troglodyte. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 'Sending', you Caledonian troglodyte. FFS; it's 12.27pm here and I've been drinking since 7pm last night. Make allowances man! Or I'll "murder you to death" you Mancunian trollop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky_house Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50. At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a quid coin in the saucer. 'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the quid for?' 'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'. 'I asked him what I should give you'. He said, '**** him. Give him a quid.' She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.