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amarone

Dirty jokes

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She: I like Edward Cullen from 'Twilight' so much! I really would like to spend one night with him!

He: He's a vampire and he's un-dead. And with no blood, it's impossible to get an erection! Phantasize about that!

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Interview for an appointment as public servant:

(I)nterviewer: Are you allergic against something?

(A)pplicant: Yes, against coffee, so I don't drink it.

I: Very good, that's some points on your list. Have you been serving in the military?

A: Yes, I was stationed in Iraq for two years.

I: Excellent, that's some more points. Did you suffer any injuries there?

A: Yes, a landmine blew off both my testicles.

I: For your application, that's perfect. You get the job and will start next Monday. Working hours are from 8am to 4pm. So you can arrive around 10am.

A: I thought work starts at 8am?

I: Yes but we are public service. The first two hours we are just drinking coffee and scratching our balls but for you, that's not possible.

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Interview for an appointment as public servant:

(I)nterviewer: Are you allergic against something?

(A)pplicant: Yes, against coffee, so I don't drink it.

I: Very good, that's some points on your list. Have you been serving in the military?

A: Yes, I was stationed in Iraq for two years.

I: Excellent, that's some more points. Did you suffer any injuries there?

A: Yes, a landmine blew off both my testicles.

I: For your application, that's perfect. You get the job and will start next Monday. Working hours are from 8am to 4pm. So you can arrive around 10am.

A: I thought work starts at 8am?

I: Yes but we are public service. The first two hours we are just drinking coffee and scratching our balls but for you, that's not possible.

a) It's not dirty

B) It's not funny

(please stick to the funny pics thread; you manage to do quite well in that) ; )

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That's exactly the topic where our whisky gobbling Scotchman has to burn his tongue at.... ;)

a) In an apparent act of treason, I only drink whiskey, not whisky.

B) It's Scotsman not Scotchman.

c) Your comment made no sense (even without the errors)

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This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.

"What? That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.

"Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?"

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Oh, oh! Where did the Teutons live and where is nowadays Austria? But maybe this is in revenge for the "Whisky", who knows...

Teutonic or Teuton(s) may refer to:

The Germanic peoples (also called Teutonic in older literature) are a historical ethno-linguistic group, originating in Northern Europe and identified by their use of the Indo-European Germanic languages, which diversified out of Common Germanic in the course of the Pre-Roman Iron Age. The descendants of these people contributed to ethnic groups in North Western Europe:Scandinavians (Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, Icelanders, and Faroe Islanders, but not Finns and Sami), Germans (including Austrians).

Stick that in your schnitzel Herr Dummkopf! :lol::lol:;-)

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I saw Katie Price on the train track tying her shoelaces and shouted, "Look out behind you! There's a train coming!"

But I was too late. The train, carrying 106 passengers, vanished up her minge and was never seen again.

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Germans and Austrians are same same - like Englishmen and Scotsmen

Germans and Austrians are not THE SAME. I never said that. But you do both share lingual and genetic roots.

(which we and the pansy sootherners generally do not)

; )

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But you do both share .... genetic roots.

Tell this to a Bavarian (from which tribe most of us Austrians derive from regarding the germanic roots) and he will make you swallow a liter of beer including the glass and maybe even his chair!

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Tell this to a Bavarian (from which tribe most of us Austrians derive from regarding the germanic roots) and he will make you swallow a liter of beer including the glass and maybe even his chair!

But the Bavarii were still a Germanic tribe, and their history really only goes back to middle ages time.

And Bavarians tend to be all talk anyway... ; )

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