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Please advise me about my writing


bunny_girly
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Write about the following topic:

It has been said, “Not every thing that is learned is contained in

books.â€

Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from

books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words

Learning from books is a particular thing that most of people have to do it in school. It is about the knowledge and theories that we have to follow all lesson in the books. For example, we can learn how to speak English from school. We can learn the structure of English sentence from books which is the certain thing and we can not change the structure of it.

Learning from our experience is totally different from learning from books. Everybody has to face problems everyday so we can learn from experience which we can not find in any books. Learning from real life is no a certain theory that we have to do same as the theory but we have to find the best way to fix the problem and learn out of it. For example, if you have to study or work in abroad, you can not know what will happen in another country. Culture and people are different from your country. Even though you prepare and read about the another country from a book but once you arrive that country everything can happen to you. You have to in real life in that moment.

In my opinion I think learning from experience is more important then learning from books because you must be more careful in real life. The books can teach you many things but not everything. Example, everybody learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it. People need more experience which can build up their good personality at the end.

What do you think about my essay? This is my first one. I know it's not good so please advise what should I improve more. Thank you very much.

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I think it's an excellent essay. Your writing is very clear and easy to understand.

Mistakes that you made are small and do not change or confuse the meaning of the sentence.

The content is a bit brief... Don't you learn from your parents? Teachers? Friends? Movies? TV? Computer? Job training?

If you want comments on your English, I will say 'Well done... you get an A!"

If you want comments on the content, I will say, "OK... this is a C+."

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Write about the following topic:

It has been said, “Not every thing that is learned is contained in

books.â€

Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from

books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words

Learning from books is a particular thing that most of people have to do it in school. It is about the knowledge and theories that we have to follow all lesson in the books. For example, we can learn how to speak English from school. We can learn the structure of English sentence from books which is the certain thing and we can not change the structure of it.

Learning from our experience is totally different from learning from books. Everybody has to face problems everyday so we can learn from experience which we can not find in any books. Learning from real life is no a certain theory that we have to do same as the theory but we have to find the best way to fix the problem and learn out of it. For example, if you have to study or work in abroad, you can not know what will happen in another country. Culture and people are different from your country. Even though you prepare and read about the another country from a book but once you arrive that country everything can happen to you. You have to in real life in that moment.

In my opinion I think learning from experience is more important then learning from books because you must be more careful in real life. The books can teach you many things but not everything. Example, everybody learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it. People need more experience which can build up their good personality at the end.

What do you think about my essay? This is my first one. I know it's not good so please advise what should I improve more. Thank you very much.

I like your writing. Maybe some native English can help you with grammar. I suck with grammar.

And I would like to add that maybe it isn't a bad idea to mention that "reading" can be fun too.

The books can teach you many things but not everything.

This argument is a bit weak, IMHO. Reading don't teach you but it's about what you can apply in real life. And the more you read the more you will find that reading can be a fascinating hobby.

I still prefer people who read over those who don't.

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I took IELTS test before and they take grammar into account. You are either missing some propositions or adding them in where it's not necessary, and you write a few awkward sentences that are literally translated from Thai into English.

My English isn't perfect, and I didn't do so well in writing. So I hope a native speaker here can correct some of these for you.

Learning from books is a particular thing that most of people have to do it in school.
We can learn the structure of English sentence from books which is the certain thing and we can not change the structure of it.
Learning from real life is no a certain theory that we have to do same as the theory
Even though you prepare and read about the another country from a book but once you arrive that country everything can happen to you.
Example, everybody learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it.

As for the content, I don't think you have to choose to support only one. You can show contrast that books might be just theory and people, who follow everything from the book, can be wrong. But those who only use experience might not be aware of the fundamental basic the books can offer.

So the best is to combine the theory and adapt it with experience to make the best of both worlds.

The aim of the essay is to see your organization (for essay), your arguments and supports and your grammatical skill. No need to choose which one is better than the other.

Keep studying hard and all the best for your exam!

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I am going to do the IELTS examination so I would like to know what people think about my writing.

Didn't you say you got an English tutor?

I think s/he would probably be the best for this, though your writing is pretty good at the moment. The mistakes are small, and everyone can understand what your points are.

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Learning from books is a particular thing that most of people have to do it in school.

I think the subject here should be 'people'...

"Most people have to learn from books at school as part of the curriculum."

We can learn the structure of English sentence from books which is the certain thing and we can not change the structure of it.

"We can learn the structure of English sentenceS from books because it is a definite subject and we can not change the structures."

(However, I'm not sure it IS a definite subject, there are many ways to change structures.)

Learning from real life is no a certain theory that we have to do same as the theory

"Learning from real life is not an exact theory that we must follow exactly."

Even though you prepare and read about the another country from a book but once you arrive that country everything can happen to you.

"Even if you read and prepare about another country, once you arrive in that country, anything can happen to you."

Example, everybody learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it.

"For example, anybody can learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it."

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just a couple quick thoughts...

First I agree, in general your essay was very clear and well written, quite good! And I think Rob is right---- if the minor corrections could be discussed with a teacher personally you could think about several different solutions to the small errors.

( English is often flexible --- especially for us Americans :P ).

Second, with regard to the object of the essay assignment ( compare and contrast) ---you could have, after you example of learning English from a book, described how using English in real life conversations can require an adjustment for context, sometimes "slang", or your audience....

I am terrible with grammar...so I will not go there..... :wink:

You are doing well!

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  • 1 year later...

Learning from books is a particular thing that most of people have to do it in school.

Learning from books is something most people have to do in school.

It is about the knowledge and theories that we have to follow all lesson in the books.

This sentence does not make sense in English and the meaning is unclear. Perhaps:

Knowledge and theories are things we learn from books.

For example, we can learn how to speak English from school.

Good

We can learn the structure of English sentence from books which is the certain thing and we can not change the structure of it.

We can learn the structure of English sentences from books but we can not change the structure of it.

What is the ‘it’ above referring to? English or English sentances?

Learning from our experience is totally different from learning from books.

Good

Everybody has to face problems everyday so we can learn from experience which we can not find in any books.

Does make sense in English but is clumsily written. Perhaps:

Everyday life teaches us things which we cannot find in books.

Learning from real life is no a certain theory that we have to do same as the theory but we have to find the best way to fix the problem and learn out of it.

Does not really make sense in English. Perhaps:

Theories are not everything. In real life we have to find the best way to fix a problem and perhaps we can learn something from this.

For example, if you have to study or work in abroad, you can not know what will happen in another country.

For example, if you have to study or work abroad, you can not know what will happen in another country.

Culture and people are different from your country.

Good

Even though you prepare and read about the another country from a book but once you arrive that country everything can happen to you.

Even though you prepare and read about the other country in books, once you arrive in that country anything can happen to you.

You have to in real life in that moment.

You have to be in real life in that moment.

In my opinion I think learning from experience is more important then learning from books because you must be more careful in real life.

Good

The books can teach you many things but not everything.

Books can teach you many things but not everything.

Example, everybody learn about how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it.

For example, everybody can learn how to have a good personality from a book but in real life not everybody can do it.

People need more experience which can build up their good personality at the end.

People need experience to build up their personality.

Generally in an English essay new information is not introduced in the conclusion, which you did in the second last sentence.

Hope this helps.

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