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A Thai ‘bride’s’ fight for dignity


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I'm sure many people have seen this story in both the English and Thai language press but Andrew Drummond does a bit of an in-depth on the story of the woman who was detained overnight by UK immigration and put back on a plane to Thailand after her husband told immigration that the marriage was over (thus nullifying her visa).

She's been screaming very loudly in the press and supposedly told some press she was going to sue the UK government for something like 2 million pounds because of the indignity she suffered by being denied entry into the country and being forced to stay in a holding cell overnight.

It appears that she has a book out now about her experience and is getting funding to go around and warn other Thai women that farang men aren't all what they seem to be.

But if you read Andrew's story:

http://www.andrew-drummond.com/2010/12/11/culture-shock-a-thai-brides-fight-for-dignity/

her story has more holes than a golf course.

She chalks the whole thing up to cultural differences but the reason he split with her was he suspected her of being unfaithful. A suspicion that doesn't seem unwarranted when she later admits that she slept over some guy's house (with his gf there, according to her). Supposedly, her husband simply doesn't understand that this is perfectly normal in Thai culture . . . wait, no it's not! It's not normal in any culture.

Or she says in another part that with their relationship already crumbling they went away on a holiday together and he asked her to come sit with him on the beach while he got some sun. She refused and after that trip he went one way and she took off back to Thailand. But she basically tries to say that this was all about how Thai people don't like to sit in the sun and how farang don't understand Thai culture.

Does that sound even remotely realistic? Has there been a single Thai/farang relationship that has become derailed over a Thai's aversion to the sun? Or is it more likely that there was something else going on she didn't mention?

The whole story just has so many areas that don't make any sense.

Thoughts?

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Thoughts?

Surprised that this guy found the story worth writing about.

She sounds like she rates herself as someone important (suing the UK government, :lol: )

She lost face in a big way, and thinks that someone else has to pay.

She's a dreamer that needs to wake up to reality and get the f*ck over it.

BFL (bad f*cking luck) !!! :roll:

Agreed, and I noticed he's closed the comments. He seems to be sympathetic to her but I can't see why. For someone who is so good at getting to the bottom of things he lets her get away with some stuff that doesn't make any sense in any culture.

If I had to guess, and this is based on what they've both said and neither refutes, he wanted her to get a job that was befitting her education and previous experience. She didn't feel confident enough to. He even tried to get her to work at a company he owns and she turned that down. But, according to her, she was willing to work as a waitress or at Tesco. Now, call me cynical but I'm going to take a wild guess that the waitressing was at a Thai restaurant and the job at Tesco somehow involved other Thais.

So, in the end, I think it all comes down to a refusal or unwillingness to integrate into the local culture. Not that she was being asked to give up Thai culture, mind you. She never mentions that. She just says that if she couldn't go work as a waitress or at Tesco then she felt that the only thing left to do was to sit at home. That's why she felt like she was a kept woman. She never says he told her to stay at home. She just keeps saying that because he was whisking her off on holiday all of the time that she was unable to get job. And, I'm not even sure I buy that one. She even tries to make this out to be a Thai culture thing. She wants to work not go off on holiday all of the time. Then she says he didn't understand that that's Thai culture. WTF?!?!

Don't get me wrong, that's not a jab at Thais or Thai culture. I don't think it's in any culture that people enjoy working as a waitress more than going off on exotic holidays. Okay, maybe there are some hardcore workaholics out there but that's not necessarily Thai culture.

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

Obviously :roll:

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

I don't think she ever makes a claim that she was treated like a second class citizen except when she went back to the UK with a cancelled visa and was detained and returned home. Her treatment was the same had she been American, French, or any other nationality with an expired or invalid visa. And her treatment was far better than if one were to entry Thailand on such a visa and be detained and deported so I'm not really sure I follow you here.

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

I don't think she ever makes a claim that she was treated like a second class citizen except when she went back to the UK with a cancelled visa and was detained and returned home. Her treatment was the same had she been American, French, or any other nationality with an expired or invalid visa. And her treatment was far better than if one were to entry Thailand on such a visa and be detained and deported so I'm not really sure I follow you here.

You have to go back read Andrew's.

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

While some are just genuinely in love and living in normal caring relationships with no hidden agendas (well no more than normal relationships anyway).

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

I don't think she ever makes a claim that she was treated like a second class citizen except when she went back to the UK with a cancelled visa and was detained and returned home. Her treatment was the same had she been American, French, or any other nationality with an expired or invalid visa. And her treatment was far better than if one were to entry Thailand on such a visa and be detained and deported so I'm not really sure I follow you here.

You have to go back read Andrew's.

I've read it more than once. Several times to be more specific.

She never claims that she was treated like a second class citizen when she lived there.

The closest she comes is saying that her husband did not let her work because he was always taking her on holidays.

However, he says that she refused to get a job that was befitting her level of education and previous work experience because she was not confident enough in her own abilities.

How is that being treated like a second class citizen?

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

While some are just genuinely in love and living in normal caring relationships with no hidden agendas (well no more than normal relationships anyway).

I don't think Kus believes in Love :-)

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

u did obviously notice the use of the word SOME in my original post !!!

and how would a thai girl ever not have the chance to meet a thai guy because of work that makes no sense whatsoever ... i mean even the bar girls tend to have thai bfs/gigs .... so what thai girls can't meet thai guys because of work ?? :roll: :roll:

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

u did obviously notice the use of the word SOME in my original post !!!

and how would a thai girl ever not have the chance to meet a thai guy because of work that makes no sense whatsoever ... i mean even the bar girls tend to have thai bfs/gigs .... so what thai girls can't meet thai guys because of work ?? :roll: :roll:

But you didnt notice that I put it in the bracket. It must meant something different from those i pointed as the examples... umm

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

u did obviously notice the use of the word SOME in my original post !!!

and how would a thai girl ever not have the chance to meet a thai guy because of work that makes no sense whatsoever ... i mean even the bar girls tend to have thai bfs/gigs .... so what thai girls can't meet thai guys because of work ?? :roll: :roll:

But you didnt notice that I put it in the bracket. It must meant something different from those i pointed as the examples... umm

she got you there, CiaranM

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I don't think Kus believes in Love :-)

P' Kha, feel free to post anything against my opinion na ka, but pls kindly do not attact me (person) ka.

1. I didn't say anything about you. You made a comment which excluded the possibility of people having a relationship involving love and I was making a joke about your failure to include the possiblity.

2. Your initial comment was that farangs prefer bar girls over educated women which is and of itself incorrect but is also rather racist.

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At first she needs a new passport. With a cancelled visa she wont get a new husband. Nowhere in the world..

The book she wrote is an old story in a new cover. Any woman who marries a man way older than her is somehow money-craving, but it aint for reasons of love. But it doesnt necessarily need go wrong..

She complains that he hasnt got a clue of thai culture. Has she been abroad for a while and has she tried to understand our western culture ? I bet not. Thai-farang partnership often fail because in most of their minds there is not much space for appreciation of our culture and history.

Another thing is even some bar girls suffer the typical symptoms of exaggerated self-elevation.Some I know from over are married to sugard daddies, had the typical career. They had 5, 6 years of school, some cant even write thai,, not to speak of their lousy german after 15 years being here but they are so ridiculously posh..

On the other hand for most westerners it is probably easier to handle a bargirl and her obvious needs for financial support of the family than the far more complex needs of an educated women from thai society.

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She complains that he hasnt got a clue of thai culture. Has she been abroad for a while and has she tried to understand our western culture ? I bet not. Thai-farang partnership often fail because in most of their minds there is not much space for appreciation of our culture and history.

That was one of the issues the husband mentioned. He said she failed to integrate.

And since she is the one moving to Scotland it is her responsibility to adapt to the farang culture. Not that everything has to be the farang-way but it's no different than us living here and having to learn the Thai-way.

I have several friends who have Thai wives back in the US (funny that, living near the largest population of Thais outside of Thailand) and the thing that is consistent in successful relationships is that there's a healthy respect for both cultures and that the wife integrates herself into the local community and culture.

If they don't integrate, make friends, and establish a new life in their new country then it's 99% chance of failure. They sit around, get bored, start resenting their husband for taking them away from Thailand, blah, blah, blah.

Same thing going the other way. You see some of these guys going to live with their wife out in the village and they don't speak any Thai, they have no knowledge of Buddhism, etc., etc. and they can't figure out why they're pulling their hair out after six months. Either that or the spend all day drinking themselves into a proper stupor.

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

u did obviously notice the use of the word SOME in my original post !!!

and how would a thai girl ever not have the chance to meet a thai guy because of work that makes no sense whatsoever ... i mean even the bar girls tend to have thai bfs/gigs .... so what thai girls can't meet thai guys because of work ?? :roll: :roll:

But you didnt notice that I put it in the bracket. It must meant something different from those i pointed as the examples... umm

she got you there, CiaranM

well she's definitely got me baffled ... i can't think of what work could possibly stop thai girls having the possibility of interacting with thai guys !! whether it's in brackets or not !!! :roll: :roll:

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Hrr...i think the story is not new. There have happened all the time to the most of farang-thai couples that being treated like second class people in the husband's communities. But the other farang's wives were not spoke aloud just accepted their misforturnate. That is the reason why farangs are more into the bar girls than educated ones

hmmmmm ..... i was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that one of the reasons SOME thai girls preferred farang guys was because they treated them better than thai guys !!!

sex tourists may be more into bar girls .... but the farangs living here tend not to need to pay for female company !!!

- Yes, that was your huge mistakenly to believe that thai girls who are after farang guys were thinking farang will treat them better than thai. From myself learned there are different reasons for 'thai love farang' girls, some think its cool to hang out with farang, some think its good to stay in nice condo instead of 2,500b apartment, some (in the villages) thinks its short cut for her family's proverty fixing. etc.. etc.. ( and some got no chance to meet / seek thai men because of work )

u did obviously notice the use of the word SOME in my original post !!!

and how would a thai girl ever not have the chance to meet a thai guy because of work that makes no sense whatsoever ... i mean even the bar girls tend to have thai bfs/gigs .... so what thai girls can't meet thai guys because of work ?? :roll: :roll:

But you didnt notice that I put it in the bracket. It must meant something different from those i pointed as the examples... umm

she got you there, CiaranM

well she's definitely got me baffled ... i can't think of what work could possibly stop thai girls having the possibility of interacting with thai guys !! whether it's in brackets or not !!! :roll: :roll:

Ja ja.. mai pen rai ja..

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If you are gonna marry a *****, at least make it a hot *****.

All the fluff on offer her for a few quid and pays top price for a whopper with cheese.

Only a kilt wearer

Like anyone will believe that slag, I bet RCA will always hit the spot

And finally I though this thread wad called a Thai BRIBES fight for dignity. Might have been a better title

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