FarangFarang Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 55555555! That's a great one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarangFarang Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 55555555! That's a great one! Uh oh, what does "That's a great one" mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teddy Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Hmmm....Very interesting and overall quite good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarangFarang Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Who wants to take a crack at the American or Thai ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Uh oh, what does "That's a great one" mean? From a German speaker? What they mean; 'We are going to invade your country.' What others think they mean; 'We are your friends.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Uh oh, what does "That's a great one" mean? "English_Bob is here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyphil247 Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 From a German speaker? What they mean; 'We are going to invade your country.' What others think they mean; 'We are your friends.' The Sicilians will never allow it, they'll just call in the Americans (CIA) as they did in the 2nd world war, lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 55555555! That's a great one! a bit too short? I meant your post but didn't want to put the whole thing in the quote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 From a German speaker? What they mean; 'We are going to invade your country.' What others think they mean; 'We are your friends.' Seems that the Americans then copied a former German habit.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted November 19, 2011 Report Share Posted November 19, 2011 I can understand them, but they never make any sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 I can understand them, but they never make any sense. Who is "them"? Fact is that American (North) English would be better understandable than British English would the Yanks just for once take their chewing gum out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky_house Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 Who is "them"? Fact is that American (North) English would be better understandable than British English would the Yanks just for once take their chewing gum out! Yeah right!! German isn't too difficult to learn either :-) : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted December 10, 2011 Report Share Posted December 10, 2011 (edited) YGerman isn't too difficult to learn either :-) : For sure not! I know a bunch of people who were able to speak it already at the age of two, me included! Edited December 10, 2011 by kaunitz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky_house Posted December 11, 2011 Report Share Posted December 11, 2011 For sure not! I know a bunch of people who were able to speak it already at the age of two, me included! Yes, but could you speak it as well as Uncle Albert in that last clip? :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted December 11, 2011 Report Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yes, but could you speak it as well as Uncle Albert in that last clip? :-) Well, I don't really remember, I'll have to ask my parents for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 (edited) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Edited December 12, 2011 by Stramash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 (edited) If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers inthe world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye,your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it’s written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles;Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone,Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation’s OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font,front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze,gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint,senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic,Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences,moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise,precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable,Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise,plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator,spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, andArkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth,south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine.Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally,yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever,Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Creviceand device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm,phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging,Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even,Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask,grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is apaling stout and spikey? Won’t it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It’s a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight,Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough,Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! Edited December 12, 2011 by Stramash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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