Killing Animals Barehanded

[Admin_2]

If you had to fight animals one on one, which ones do you think you could beat? I think most of us could crush rodents, cats and small dogs with ease...but where does the line start?

The only rule is that there are no weapons besides a tree that a human can climb up. Is there a type of dog you think you couldn't handle? What happens if it was you against a cow? How the fuck do you kill a cow with your bare hands?

Food for thought.

[FarangFarang]

I would kill the shit out of a goat.

[kaunitz]

Chicken are easy - and they taste delicious!

[Admin_2]

I would kill the shit out of a goat.

What about one of those charging mountain goats with heads of steel? They are pretty bad-ass. I think an average man could kill one, though. We, well...some of us...have intelligence on our side. We could jump on its back, steer it, choke it...maybe even snap its neck. I'd bet on human for that one as well.

Kaunitz...please stay at home and clean. We will hunt for you.

[kaunitz]

Kaunitz...please stay at home and clean. We will hunt for you.

With your bare hands? I don't want to starve!

[FarangFarang]

Does bare hands include rocks or anything you can pick up off the ground?

[Admin_2]

Does bare hands include rocks or anything you can pick up off the ground?

The only natural weapon out there is a tree limb. Once you climb up and break it off, you can't climb back up.

[Stramash]

Would you rather fight one horse sized hamster or 50 hamster sized horses?

[Admin_2]

The only natural weapon out there is a tree limb. Once you climb up and break it off, you can't climb back up.

Additionally, the tree limb is good for 5 hard direct hits or as many pokes/eye gouges as you can get in. After the five hits, it breaks and is rendered useless.

Keep in mind, if the animal can climb a tree too, you will get hurt (possibly killed) trying to get the limb.

[English_Bob]

I could kill pretty much all dog breeds (assuming it's one on one rather than a pack).

A cow would be hard work, but they don't have much in the way of defence - probably go for knee joints until it couldn't stand or turn. Is it a stand-up fight? It's going to stand and fight, not run away? I can't be arsed chasing them down. Same for horses.

I could handle most snakes - I used to keep them and was pretty good with them.

Small alligators and crocs... let's say up to a metre and a half. Anything bigger than that would be trouble.

Sharks under a metre if I was in waist deep water. In deep water, I guess even a small shark could pick me off.

None of the big cats - they're just too fast and strong.

And any monkey/ape bigger than a metre tall would be problematic too. I doubt I could take them.

Hippos, elephants, rhinos and bears are all out. So are those elephant seals and walruses, just too much blubber,

Those African grazers are all fighters too - zebras, antelopes, wildebeaste, giraffes... **** 'em, I wouldn't know where to start.

All of the above assumes fully grown animals... Babies? I reckon I could do most of them... Except a whale.

[Admin_2]

I could kill pretty much all dog breeds (assuming it's one on one rather than a pack).

A cow would be hard work, but they don't have much in the way of defence - probably go for knee joints until it couldn't stand or turn. Is it a stand-up fight? It's going to stand and fight, not run away? I can't be arsed chasing them down. Same for horses.

I could handle most snakes - I used to keep them and was pretty good with them.

Small alligators and crocs... let's say up to a metre and a half. Anything bigger than that would be trouble.

Sharks under a metre if I was in waist deep water. In deep water, I guess even a small shark could pick me off.

None of the big cats - they're just too fast and strong.

And any monkey/ape bigger than a metre tall would be problematic too. I doubt I could take them.

Hippos, elephants, rhinos and bears are all out. So are those elephant seals and walruses, just too much blubber,

Those African grazers are all fighters too - zebras, antelopes, wildebeaste, giraffes... Fuck 'em, I wouldn't know where to start.

All of the above assumes fully grown animals... Babies? I reckon I could do most of them... Except a whale.

There is no running away. You can assume that both you and the animal are in it to win it.

Sharks? Didn't think about water fights. I guess for it to be fair, one meter of water would work. Could you take a 1.5 meter crock in a meter of water? That's much different than fighting one on land. I think that would make the difference between winning and losing for me.

Yes, these are all fully grown animals up against fully grown men. You really think a horse would want to run away? I'd get my ass kicked by a horse for sure.

I agree with apes. Those things are vicious, and I think they enjoy biting people's faces off.

Pit bulls and rottweilers are forces to be reckoned with. If they grab on to a limb, let alone your neck, you're fucked. I've seen them latch on and take serious beatings with steel pipes and not let go. It wasn't until the 2nd gunshot that they let up (and later died). We don't have steel pipes or guns.

Edited March 5, 2013 by Japamerican
got blood on my keyboard

[Admin_2]

As a gauge, imagine this as the best of ten fights to the death.

Yeah, you could take a horse if you got lucky once, but it's going to kick the shit out of you (literally) 9 out of 10 times. I don't think I could kill a horse one out of ten times, even with the tree limb.