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Why do Thai girls go with very older men?


FarangSanook
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My girlfriends cousin is 23 and has a 40 year old boyfriend! Personally i dont get it, she is good looking and always fun to be around but really loves this guy. She gets taken care of financially by having an allowance and tells her he loves her but doesnt really seem in love with her, more like he's enjoying having a younger girlfriend and just making sure shes kinda happy so she doesnt moan at him about anything.

Any other girls here have a relationship with a older guy?

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My girlfriends cousin is 23 and has a 40 year old boyfriend! Personally i dont get it, she is good looking and always fun to be around but really loves this guy. She gets taken care of financially by having an allowance and tells her he loves her but doesnt really seem in love with her, more like he's enjoying having a younger girlfriend and just making sure shes kinda happy so she doesnt moan at him about anything.

Any other girls here have a relationship with a older guy?

you should say SOME THAI GIRLS not THAI GIRLS........

Yeah sorry about that, i appologise

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My girlfriends cousin is 23 and has a 40 year old boyfriend! Personally i dont get it, she is good looking and always fun to be around but really loves this guy. She gets taken care of financially by having an allowance and tells her he loves her but doesnt really seem in love with her, more like he's enjoying having a younger girlfriend and just making sure shes kinda happy so she doesnt moan at him about anything.

Any other girls here have a relationship with a older guy?

if you really want to know the answer...

then, go get a book (there are many of good books that you can learn lots of things about women.) rather than go asking a whole bunch of strangers on the internet.

personally, i seem to be attracted to a man who is between 5-10 years older than me. its a very easy reason... they (some that i have met) are content, sound, wiser and more mature but that does not necessarily mean that they are better than younger men.

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Ok. Some girls like older guys and some don't.

I think we can safely say that we have established this as a fact.

(At least for a few days until some bright spark decides to ask the same freakin question. And how come there's no old lady/young stud post? Ahhh I see.)

FarangSanook has already apologised for starting this thread. So we can leave it like that.

What would be more interesting to know is what kind of job PiAnt holds that allows him to post so much. Could you perhaps get me a job wherever you're working, PiAnt? Mate? :)

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Thai ladies are much more conscience with their ages. A lady that is 25, is more mature in their life. They know what they want, someone to care and take care of them. In general women mature faster than men the same age, regardless where they are from. They're not just a girl like in the USA that just wants to party and have fun all the time. Most single guys in this age group are usually broke and act like boys! Older men have seen and experienced more of life, whether single, married, or divorced? Older men will learn about their faults and try a little bit harder for a younger lady, if they really care for that person. Plus they may have a little bit money saved in their wallets! Young women are tired of youngsters playing around with them, and a young guy is usually not ready to commit to anyone.......Everything said here is only a general statement, of course there is always many that are different and act accordingly. So don't start picking at my thoughts, or whatever :lol: Eddie

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FarangSanook has already apologised for starting this thread. So we can leave it like that.

What would be more interesting to know is what kind of job PiAnt holds that allows him to post so much. Could you perhaps get me a job wherever you're working, PiAnt? Mate? :)

Indeed, you are as correct as you are sitting on the loo.

I am a mere 10 posts behind your goodself my friend. I am rapidly approaching your rear. Maybe I could check it for you as I whizz past?

My job? I'm a Director of Studies, constantly struggling to deal with the tricky intricacies of ferang idiosyncracies and their inane but all important baggage, whilst trying to get them to do a decent job.

Thank goodness I have TF to get away from it all.

kuhn_sam: member since may 25 2005

PiAnt: member since 25 august 2006

hmmm....

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Whether that's true or not, I don't know. Having kept to a very young crowd of people on my last two trips to Thailand, I only met young Thai girls who had equally young farang boyfriends, and I never heard any of them speak well of the older guys who hang out in bars in Thailand.

u'll not hear them speak too well of the younger guys who hang out in the girlie bars in Thailand either !!!

the butterfly term applies to either a male or female who is constantly changing their partner ... butterfly flitting from flower to flower. would appear to be a term "mainly" used in bar talk or in joking conversation. and there are just as many "young guys" hanging around the girlie bars as "older guys" and all equally as stupid with their money !!!

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At least part of the reason has to do with the fact that young, good looking foreign guys in Thialand have a reputation (not untirely undeserved) for being "butterflys"

so young girls who want a serious relationship with a foreigner and are scared of getting their heart broken often turn to older guys

i think there are a LOT of girls who believe this, although the wisdom is questionable. i know young guys who don't screw everything that moves, and who only have (1) girlfriend, and older guys who screw everything that moves. it depends on the individual, rules of thumb don't replace getting to know an individual. i suspect a lot of the women who date only farrangs do so based on a very small number of bad experiences with thai guys leading to a similar, sweeping generalization. sure, older guys *might* be more mature, and young guys (under 25 especially) tend not to be mature, but many men stay 12 years old mentally and emotionally forever.

firstly, let's set aside any consideration of those gentlemen choosing to cavort with hookers, hookers tend to go with the guy with money regardless of age etc (it's a JOB). fat slob sex tourists led around town by their rent-a-girlfriend tend to be older and skew perception a bit. also, young women date much older men more than young men date much older women everywhere that i know of. nonetheless, there are more young women with much older (15+ years) men in bangkok than in, say new york. although there are a LOT in new york.

older men tend to have established careers, more money and higher status. it isn't just money-grubbing on the part of the girls--successful men are attractive to women even if they're somewhat ugly, and even if their success doesn't translate into money (for example, musicians, artists, etc do tend to do quite well). for example, most women will be drawn to a professional writer over an english major still in school, unless they've pegged the student as having 'star potential'.

scientific research tends to bear this out--women tend to prefer older men, but generally only 3 to 5 years older (see David Buss/"Evolution of Desire" for data and explanation). HOWEVER, biology doesn't explain the much larger gap one tends to see in bkk very well.

not to belabor the obvious but i'll do it anyway--there seem to be more older farrang men staying in thailand long-term than younger men, so farrang-seeking women (already a niche strategy) don't have a lot of options to choose from and supply is much less than demand for farrangs young OR old.

I was under the impression that the "butterfly" reputation applies to all farang in Thailand, as far as some women are concerned, but mostly to the older guys who hang out in the same bars night after night. I didn't hear the expression "butterfly" once on my 2nd or 3rd trip to Thailand, but I did hear it about ten times in an hour on my first visit, in a beer garden in BKK (big place, near Gullivers, frequented by fat Germans with mullets, and sad haunted looking Thai girls desperately trying to stare at every guy to walk through the door, before going back to peeling the label off the bottle of Spy wine cooler they'd been trying to make last all night). Everytime I heard "butterfly" uttered, it appeared to be directed at an older guy (a few times to the guy from my group who's smart idea it had been to go to said establishment in the first place). I, on the otherhand, appeared to be very popular with the ladies in the bar, having not been there before and being the only male I could see under the age of 40.

my understanding of the term is that it's bargirl slang. the reason you didnt hear it applied to younger guys, is that there weren't any there. sleazy younger guys tend to prefer other venues for finding hookers than the sad beer gardens full of used up girls.

Now, was that just our choice of bar (God, the memory of the place makes me go cold) that contradicted your argument, or a glitch in the matrix? Maybe it was my wide-eyed innocence (what with it being my first time in Thailand) that spared me the label of "butterfly" and made the girls there actually want to talk to me?

the latter. i doubt it was an age thing so much as you were obviously new there and therefore potentially more easily separated from your money. generally i've seen more astonishingly naive young guys floating around town being separated from their money than old guys. old guys tend to be less naive perhaps, but really it's about how much time you've spent in thailand and therefore how likely you are to believe the "my family buffalo is sick you help buy repair kit" stories.

also, let's face it, even getting paid doing one of those fat german mulllet boys has GOT to be an ordeal. if you were a girl and the pay's likely the same either way, wouldn't you go for the guy under 90 kg??

Personally, I found that the most abhorrent place I've seen in Thailand, more so than the questionable sex shows in Patpong, where there are more botched abortion scars on display than anything remotely erotic.

havent been to a patpong show but at least they have spectacle going for them. havent been to a beer garden either but walking by to a chorus of "hello hansum man" and eyeballing both the clientele and the sex-workers there convince me that it's the bottom of the barrell.

I've gone off point again haven't I? Oh yeah, "butterfly" - I hadn't heard that term in ages. It's probably because I frequented slightly more upmarket venues after my brush with that god awful beer garden.

yep places like gulliver's have better-looking, more polite hookers, and you can drink there without being hassled if you're with a girl, a group, or just surly and sulky.

I was always under the impression Thai girls go for older men because it's assumed they're more likely to offer financial security. The first guide book I read on Thailand even had a chapter on Thai nightlife and said that many young visitors would find the welcome in many bars less than warm, because Thai girls assume they will be backpackers with little to no money, while the older guys will be staying in nicer hotels and have money (and plastic) in their pockets.

that and status, as outlined above.

Whether that's true or not, I don't know. Having kept to a very young crowd of people on my last two trips to Thailand, I only met young Thai girls who had equally young farang boyfriends, and I never heard any of them speak well of the older guys who hang out in bars in Thailand.

not all the older guys hang out in sleazy bars. i find that on average the thai girls dissing young guys have very limited experience with them and assume they're all KSR types, and the thai girls dissing older guys have very little experience with THEM, and assume they're all sexpat/sex tourist types. both assumptions involve a very, very very very broad brush.

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My girlfriends cousin is 23 and has a 40 year old boyfriend! Personally i dont get it, she is good looking and always fun to be around but really loves this guy. She gets taken care of financially by having an allowance and tells her he loves her but doesnt really seem in love with her, more like he's enjoying having a younger girlfriend and just making sure shes kinda happy so she doesnt moan at him about anything.

Any other girls here have a relationship with a older guy?

Ur a sad ferk...and should shut the ferk up...ferigin icehole....

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