Advice on Thai women

[Sherriff]

Good evening everyone.

I would like to ask some advice.

I have recently been living in Khon Kaen, and been hanging out with a friend from home. My friend is somewhat of an expert on Thailand and has been guiding me through all the potential taboos and social faux pas that one might perpetrate.

Anyway, being with my friend has given me the opportunity to meet some very nice Thai people here in Khon Kaen. Experiences with one of these people has prompted me to write this journal.

I have recently become familiar with a Thai woman. I have spent a few weeks getting to know her. She is everything I look for In a woman. She is beautiful, the same age as me, has a university education, runs her own, successful business and is open minded and understanding. She has a lovely group of friends, an adorable family and for me to pay for anything requires some considerable effort on my part.

Bearing in mind the importance of status and wealth in Thai culture, and fully aware of the concept of 'face' I explained to my friend that I am a Romany Gypsy, and that to many people I am the dregs of English society. She didn't seem to care. On the contrary, she seemed to be fascinated by something, up until that time, she new nothing about.

So it appears that I have met the woman of my dreams, but one small issue is giving me considerable brain ache. She has only ever had one boyfriend (at university) and never had sex with him. After some thought, I arrived at the conclusion that she is still a virgin, and she told me that we would only have sex after we are married. Actually, at times it seems that we are only friends and are destined to remain so. We are usually in the company of other people, and when we are, it means that we cannot so much as touch each other. When we are in public we can't even go as far as holding hands. The only conclusion I have been able to draw is that she is a very traditional girl. I have total respect for her wishes

and intend to continue to respect them.

Now, marriage is till a long way off, but something has crept in to my mind. Can I marry a girl I have never had sex with? To many of you this might seem like a silly question. I am fully aware that chivalry has died, except among Gypsy folk and The English Upper Middle and Upper Classes, but in my culture, couples usually end up having sex after a short time. Indeed, the outcome of such encounters usually contributes to the overall question of whether or not two people are compatible. So, I am thinking, how do I know if me and this woman are compatible until we have had sex?

I would like to ask anyone with any experience of this kind of situation, or any experience at all to offer me some advice.

I have trawled the forums on TF and have seen many references to bar girls and buffaloes. I can see that this is some kind of ongoing joke, but would respectfully ask that comments like this are not made. I welcome advice, however frank, brutal or concise it may be, and especially welcome comments from Thai people as I believe you are probably best qualified to comment.

My thanks in advance Sherriff (Luke)

[CuTieGirL]

She is beautiful, the same age as me, has a university education, runs her own, successful business and is open minded and understanding.

and that:

She has only ever had one boyfriend (at university) and never had sex with him.

I hope these things you knew about her are all real. Not to be offensive but if there's nothing wrong with her....

For 32 years, she never fell head over heels in love with someone (enough to have physical contact with). And if she did fell in love with her ex BF while in University, she never want anything to do with him. (Was she raise in a convent or something?)

Once my American friends came to Thailand. One of them are dating a beautiful Thai girl for 2 months. The first time they did it after 2 months of sex-free dating, she acted like she doesn't know what she was doing. (That's exactly what he told me....As I couldn't figure out how to "act like she doesn't know what she was doing".) And this girl is not a naive kind of girl. She looks like a fox.

After my American friend left Bangkok, I met the same girl again. Now dating different guys. So I guess, she's such an expert that she could fooled even a player like my American friend.Thinking that she's innocent and all.

That's just my experince. I hope what you knew about your girl are all true. Then the question is : Would it be enough to spend the rest of your life with someone no matter how sexual compatibility you both have?

And one more thing you should think about is: maybe what you knew about her are not everything she is. She will be opened up more after sex. And if you never did it with her, you would never get to truly know her. You could never prove if what she said was right or wrong. Well, truth or not is probably what you should find out. (Would you be upset if everything you thought she'd be .... are all just a big lie?)

[Princess]

Sex can be as important to a relationship as love. Consider that not every couple can be "trained" into sexual compatibility that can lead to one or both members peeping the grass on the other side of the fence.

The fact that you are not a virgin and I'm assuming have a degree of experience and technique makes it a hard decision.

Chivalry dictates you find the patience to respect her wishes but rohypnol will get you the answers you need...

Joking aside you need to establish how "far" she has gone and how "far" she's prepared to go prior to marriage.

Kissing - be prepared for a lot of "training" after the event

Fondling - a lot can be learned from this as you explore and learn each other.

Hand Jobs - she's learning the penis

Cunnilingus - You get to learn her responses but those blue balls will need "massaging"

Fellatio - you really don't have a problem do ya?!?

...and you never know, against the odds, she may just be a natural, the two of u may just click sexually, she could be lying and you may need extra lessons

Baxt hai sastimos tiri patragi

:shock: Looks like you made Admin just in time.

[Cosmo]

So it appears that I have met the woman of my dreams, but one small issue is giving me considerable brain ache. She has only ever had one boyfriend (at university) and never had sex with him. After some thought, I arrived at the conclusion that she is still a virgin, and she told me that we would only have sex after we are married. Actually, at times it seems that we are only friends and are destined to remain so. We are usually in the company of other people, and when we are, it means that we cannot so much as touch each other. When we are in public we can't even go as far as holding hands. The only conclusion I have been able to draw is that she is a very traditional girl. I have total respect for her wishes

and intend to continue to respect them.

(Luke)

Firstly, this is a belief - YOUR BELIEF. She has not said whether she is a "virgin" or not. She said she would have sex " only" after both of you are married.

She has her reasons and if you are so keen on her, you should ask - I mean, it could be because she has been through a very bad relationship and trusting some one with her heart again will not come easy. Maybe her explanation about her ex may not be the full story....

If you are going to be in a serious relationship, you should talk to her.

Secondly, is it important to you whether she is a virgin or not?

or are you outlining these facts because you are concern about the emotional scare you could cause, should the relationship turn bad?

or because you are concern this may be a trap?...which I think is unlikely because she is financially independent.

Either way, you need to have a serious talk with this lady.

You seem to know what you look for in a relationship - both physically and emotionally, and she seem to fit that profile.

And if it turns out to be what you expected, then it would be worth the wait, don't you think?

Hey, let me know if she has sisters or friends like her!!!! :wink: :roll:

[The Punisher]

Sex can be as important to a relationship as love. Consider that not every couple can be "trained" into sexual compatibility that can lead to one or both members peeping the grass on the other side of the fence.

The fact that you are not a virgin and I'm assuming have a degree of experience and technique makes it a hard decision.

Chivalry dictates you find the patience to respect her wishes but rohypnol will get you the answers you need...

Joking aside you need to establish how "far" she has gone and how "far" she's prepared to go prior to marriage.

Kissing - be prepared for a lot of "training" after the event

Fondling - a lot can be learned from this as you explore and learn each other.

Hand Jobs - she's learning the penis

Cunnilingus - You get to learn her responses but those blue balls will need "massaging"

Fellatio - you really don't have a problem do ya?!?

...and you never know, against the odds, she may just be a natural, the two of u may just click sexually, she could be lying and you may need extra lessons

Baxt hai sastimos tiri patragi

You didn't just write that did you? :shock: I hope you just copied it and pasted it, otherwise your talents are being wasted and you should send your CV to Cosmo immediately!

[Princess]

Are you sure she's a she?

If she's as traditional as she comes across, isn't it strange that she's willing to jump right into marriage with a farang? Her family too, would have a hard time with it.

[smartass]

- you've only spent a few weeks on getting to know her...

of course for this period, some (not every) people can appear nice and open minded....let's wait for awhile and you might see different aspects...everyone who's been in a relationship should know this fact already.

- she is beautiful...

beauty is in the eyes of the beholders...it could be that she is beautiful in the eyes of farangs, not thai men (that's why she's still virgin?)

- you're a romany gypsy...etc.

i don't think it would matter to people who are living outside that world, that culture cos they are not actually experiencing such an attitude...i mean if you appear as a decent man, im sure people from your society wont mind it either.

anyway, i could believe the fact that she said she was a virgin...one of my uni friends, (shes not on here dont try to find her) she is still virgin...tho she looks like an experienced sassy girl...she could be a farang type but not for thai...hmmm

just take your time and dont be hasty i guess...maybe you'll just get yourself lucky without having to marry her first.

good luck.

[bigKus]

Dear Luke..

Your 'asking for advices' sounds desperated.. i can understand. What to say? fall in love with traditional girl quite put you in difficult situation as your prefer to have 'trial' sexual relationship and see what would come out between you two but in the same time sexual before get married is guilt for her. tough problem.

My advices, as my older sister is working for expats of big company in Khon Kean (KK) for many years and she experinced organize 2 wedding for her bosses with local girls ( both girls are university graduated and one even works as a professor in KK university ) Last time i met them they have happy family so far with kids. I think your girl might come from not much diffirent family background of those 2 expats's wive and i dont think that they have had sex before married.

If you really insist to have sex with her as a trial before decide, pay more effort, but be warned, you might put guilty to her to live with for whole life. (in case that brake up later)

Wish you good luck :-)

bigKus

[Achilles]

Sorry to throw some cold water in here mate... but this doesn't sound right.... You say she is the same age as you are : 32 I assume , and ahe has only had one boyfirend in her life (that means only one relationship in 16 years!! = Highly Unlikely)... Not only that is unlikely but a virgin at 32?

Its not like its impossible but highly, extremely, tremendously improbable...

Sherriff,m either you are missing out on something or the world has missed this woman for far too long....

My money is on the first option...

Have you considered a private eye to settle down your doubts? What does your friend the "Thailand guru" think?

I truly hope fortune smiles at you and that indeed you have found the love of your life, in the same way I truly hope you are not falling in for another setup as so many others have...

Take care.

[duanja]

you know some of my friends insist that a blow job isn't sex!!!

Because they think that sex is only when penetration taken place inside her body. So that is what they usually do with their bf during their study.

Hoping that their husband in the future wont know about it coz there is no evidneces. And they wont get pregnant too.

[bah_eddie]

Wow Yummy Creamy Virgin In Thailand?

Does she comes with a warranty? Then I would buy into that.

If during sex you happen to find Noah's lost ark run she is no virgin! get that divorce too lol...

I met some pretenders I remmeber a few that said they where virgins too and they act so nice, Still a virgin until a few drinks later, Oops " just like britnnany spears" but she is still a good girl right at least in bed.

Sorry guys maybe I spent to much time in Thailand 9 months you learn alot.

If it sounds to good to be true it probably is.

[Achilles]

Not necessarily sceptic as Eddie is, but almost there.... Get you kicks together bro....

[IRISHCREAME]

THAI WOMEN LIKE THAI FOOD.....HOT & SPICY. ORDER UP THAI HOT EVERY TIME AND YOU WILL HAVE HAPPY ENDING.

[smartass]

what da....heck is that up there?

[bah_eddie]

I don't mean to bring a black dark rain onto subjects, enjoy have a good time relax and take things easy, smile every day your alive but becareful just with any girl or guy relationship.

We all wish for the best things to happen for us.

[Achilles]

Precisely beacuse of what you say, even more a reason why finding a 32 year old virgin is something improbable....

Coming to speak of.... I do recall that back in the origins of EBay there was even people who were willing to "sell" their virginity to the highest bidder...

Anyone recall that? :?:

[beej]

You know your in KK when every woman you meet tells you your handsome!

You also know your in KK when a woman says to you '' she would only have sex after we are married''!

You further know your in KK when you sit on the side of a road with a mad afro wearing yank eating cough pills till you don't know whats real anymore!

I'd stay away fro this one mate, she sounds like a proper stress~

[Dave40]

I am a Romany Gypsy, and that to many people I am the dregs of English society

You can't be to bad mate they didn't send you 20000 miles away on a boat, like they did with all the other dregs!!!! (convicts)

Good luck with your girl hope she is worth waiting for!!!

[CiaranM]

you know some of my friends insist that a blow job isn't sex!!!

Because they think that sex is only when penetration taken place inside her body. So that is what they usually do with their bf during their study.

Hoping that their husband in the future wont know about it coz there is no evidneces. And they wont get pregnant too.

can u introduce me to some of ur friends ?? :wink: :arrow: :twisted:

[rkidlad]

With Thai girls you get your good ones and your bad ones. Pretty much the same as anywhere in the World. But my advice to you is never give them money 'willy-nilly'. Of course you can pay for their drinks and food etc, but don't be one of these blokes who comes here for a couple of weeks and ends up back in the West sending money every month.

If a woman loves you then she will wait and not ask. As long as she has food on the table and a roof over her head there is no reason she should be asking for cash. of course if you wanna send money that's up to you. But don't do it because you feel she will leave you if you don't.

Peace out.

[Sherriff]

Ok, ok

Firstly I would like to say thanks for all the advice. Some good points have been raised. I don't know how to do that fancy muti-quote thing so I will try to do this from memory, ok

Firstly, I don't care whether or not she is a virgin. It's not something I'm particularly concerened about. I don't know for sure anyway. So ther's no real need for anyone to focus too much on that point. What I was concerend about was not having sex until after marriage because as many of you know, in my culture people regard this as a compatibilty factor. There's a chance I misunderstood though. But what is clear is that she has only ever had one serious or what you might call long term boyfriend. I can't think of any good reason for her to lie about this.

The other thing I can claryfy is that she is definately a woman. And alway's has been. I have seen ladyboys before and to me it's fairly obvious. Anyway, since I last wrote we've had a smooch and she is definately a babe. Sorry, woman

Someone suggested the reason she might still be single/a virgin might be because she is only attractive to farangs. Giving some credence to the beauty is in the eye of the beholder theory. Yes, this is possible, but I'm not really sure what the difference is. I've been told that Thai guy's like fairer skinned girls? Actually she is quite fair when compared to her friends. To me she is beautiful, but to me, beauty comes mainly from the inside. I personally think she is beautiful to everyone and is either choosy or not met the right Gypsy. I mean man.

The other thing is, we are not discussing, or intending to marry. That was just a word I used when explaining the situation. I have met some of her family and a few of her friends. They either know that we are fond of each other or assume and no one seems particularly bothered. In fact, as i mentioned before, they seem quite excited about this rather strange and enormous farang.

Oh, btw. I mislead you slightly on her age. I meant to say 'roughly' the same age. I'm 3 years older.

Didn't quite understand some comments/advice Umm . . beejoir?

But anyway, all is well. I got nothing else to do so I can just mosey on and mooch around and see what occurs.

Cheers Chavi's!

[bigKus]

With Thai girls you get your good ones and your bad ones. Pretty much the same as anywhere in the World. But my advice to you is never give them money 'willy-nilly'. Of course you can pay for their drinks and food etc, but don't be one of these blokes who comes here for a couple of weeks and ends up back in the West sending money every month.

If a woman loves you then she will wait and not ask. As long as she has food on the table and a roof over her head there is no reason she should be asking for cash. of course if you wanna send money that's up to you. But don't do it because you feel she will leave you if you don't.

Peace out.

*sigh* okay.. ok.. your name will be deleted out from my 'protential sponsors' list :x

[Princess]

I don't know how to do that fancy muti-quote thing so I will try to do this from memory, ok

Use the "quote" button (top right hand corner of each post)

[Sherriff]

With Thai girls you get your good ones and your bad ones. Pretty much the same as anywhere in the World. But my advice to you is never give them money 'willy-nilly'. Of course you can pay for their drinks and food etc, but don't be one of these blokes who comes here for a couple of weeks and ends up back in the West sending money every month.

If a woman loves you then she will wait and not ask. As long as she has food on the table and a roof over her head there is no reason she should be asking for cash. of course if you wanna send money that's up to you. But don't do it because you feel she will leave you if you don't.

Peace out.

*sigh* okay.. ok.. your name will be deleted out from my 'protential sponsors' list :x

Don't give up on him - I think he can be fooled.

Lianne - we live in different worlds dude!

[Sherriff]

I don't know how to do that fancy muti-quote thing so I will try to do this from memory, ok

Use the "quote" button (top right hand corner of each post)

Ok, miss clever clogs. How do you quote a single line or lines from different reply's then?

ps