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Would you marry an (ex) prostitute?


R.Win
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Guest sandalwood

On principle, no, I wouldn't marry her.

Health grounds?... Always an issue...

Moral grounds....? No big deal for me, who am I to judge anyone?

More like could I trust her.

Because for me, trust is number one.

No trust, no relationship.

Fact.

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Not looking for a religious following, but it is not a bad thing to give assistance to someone in life, who has the desire to change their life.

This thread wasn't about helping people but rather about getting married to a prostitute. Even children know that it is a good idea to marry a person that you love and that loves you. On the other hand attempt to marry a person to "save her from her miserable existence" is a clear sign that it is about time to visit psychiatrist.

Power to help other people demands deep knowledge about what those people really need (and not money). But people that are most eager to give assistance and advices are usually completely lost themselves. So it is not surprising that it is always men who want to help poor prostitutes and that methods of doing that include paying for sex and getting married. It is ridiculous.

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Hmm,

So, if a woman is with a man a gets money etc... from him she's a prostitue. If a man is with a woman and gets money etc.. from her he is a "macho" and all of his friends are jealous!

no, actually, he's a prostitute. which doesn't mean his friends won't envy him.

I guess we could be a little open minded. If/when you meet a partner that you like, why do you have to dig the past? The past is the past, everyone of us has the "skeletons in the closet" Isn't the main purpose that you enjoy being together etc...?

the past, generally, informs the present. who you are is a result of who you've been so far.

let's put the shoe on the other foot---if you know so little about your partner that you have no clue about his/her past, skeletons, dark secrets and all, is your relationship so superficial that you barely know each other?

i mean if all you want to do is **** and make funny ha ha jokes over dinner, fine, but i find it hard to believe that one could be with someone any length of time and not end up having at least a general idea about their past. and ex-prostitute, like ex-junkie or ex-millionaire, is pretty easy to spot in behavior in the right now, most of the time. (a hint: ex junkies drink lots and lots of coffee).

and no, i really doubt it has anything to do with being "open minded." it's not about moral judgments and social prescriptions it's about how YOU want to live.

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'Ozode'... since you answer with such innocence and lack of guile, I'll ease up on the sarcasm. Clearly, you seem to have your lovely fantasy all worked out and there have been a miilion guys who have come to Thailand, just like you, and have had the same fantasies. But I would hope you would be smart enough to at least consider some friendly advice.

I notice on your profile that you list Buriram as one of your favourite place, so now i understand from where (perhaps) your sympathies come.

In my 13 years working and living in SE Asia (and I have also known Thailand for more than 26 years), I've heard your story a 1000 times and I've seen the end results of most of these stories too. In most cases they are extremely sad. So excuse me for being rather cynical about you and yours.

Most people here would agree that helping one's fellow man (or woman in this case) is a good thing.

But, there is always a very fine line between compassion and compulsion and your words and ideas do smack of someone who is acting very compulsively.

If you really are genuine about helping people in what you call "miserable" circumstances, it would be wise to know what you are talking about. Clearly you dont. You can get some more information from sites such as www.thailandguru.com for a start (I have copy/pasted some relevent info from this site in my own journals for guys just like you).

You can also check out organisations here in Thailand who have been doing great work already. You can find one at www.goodwillbangkok.com.

Meanwhile, I wish you luck with your philanthropic adventures.

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Hmm,

- the past, generally, informs the present. who you are is a result of who you've been so far.

Yes, this is true, but some people can change. I've seen that. Not talking about myself (who could change the devil :)

- let's put the shoe on the other foot, if you know so little about your partner that you have no clue about his/her past, skeletons, dark secrets and all, is your relationship so superficial that you barely know each other?

Hmm, okay, let's say I've a GF, she tells me everything nice (that I want to hear) from her past, how can I know is't the truth? Same to me also of course. Maybe you'll discover everything someday, but what would you do then? Lets say that you've been married for 15yrs have 4 kids, leave her because you didn't understand to ask the right question on your first date? And you have enjoyed the last 15yrs? Just dump your partner?

- and no, i really doubt it has anything to do with being "open minded." it's not about moral judgments and social prescriptions it's about how YOU want to live.

Welcome to Finland, I do belive that we are quite open minded, moral etc... but we say "everybody needs the second chance". And we say "God forgives we don't"

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What amazes me is that no farang would marry a hooker in their own country so why on earth would they think its okay in Thailand?.

Personally I think a large number of farang here in Thailand have the opinion that all girls here are involved in the sex trade.

i would suggest that large number of farang tourists might believe ALL girls are involved in the sex trade. most farangs living here know that's not the case .... well except for the dumb, disgusting ones !!!

Unfortunately these sorts of farang tend to be disgusting and old with an insecurity complex.

absolute bollocks .... they tend to be young, middle aged and older farangs !! but then as a young stud in thailand u wouldn't want to think that would u !!

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CiaranM you are absolutely right about that! In fact most of the guys that I have met who have the attitude that most girls in the country come from a bar at one time or another are younger ones.

Regarding the question, I am wondering about the basis: is the concern based on the fact that someone gave her money or that she had sex?

If its because she received payment, then I would point out that even the "free" ones form the non-working girl will cost you money in one form or another, and to think otherwise one is either really naive or is not telling the truth...think about it.

If it is because she had sex with someone...sorry but you are not all that likely to find an adult female that has never had sex...they are few and far between, so again it is a naive position to take.

As someone pointed out, the working girls are more likely to have been careful to protect themselves than most non-working girls as they are likely to be better informed about STDs etc, and as the sex is for money it's not all the "whizz bang, gimme gimme I need it NOW" kind of sex that leads to forgetting things like condoms etc. So it might just be safer...don't know...but just a thought.

The choice is really based on the relationship and the trust, either you can take it, or you can't.

Greer

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oh. thanks 2508... not really krup. But i really laughed many years ago when i heard that Thai term for 'pimp'..... for those farang (and some Thai) who dont know the story (as I understand anyway)... its coz when the smaller male Meang da beetle mates with the bigger female, it climbs upon her back and it uses its 2 front claws to hook ontgo her so he wont fall off. When he has finished his 'business', he remains hooked to her back and she will have to carry him around for the rest of his life. The most brilliant description of a pimp I have ever heard :lol:

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There's no such thing as a EX - hooker. Once the damage is done, it's permanent. Everyone must have heard this old saying

" You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl "

Friends yes, GF or wife, no way. Tried it 2x as a GF, against all odds they failed. Go figure.

that is such bullshit. just cause you failed doesn;t make it a rule for the rest of us :roll:

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There's no such thing as a EX - hooker. Once the damage is done, it's permanent. Everyone must have heard this old saying

" You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl "

Friends yes, GF or wife, no way. Tried it 2x as a GF, against all odds they failed. Go figure.

that is such bullshit. just cause you failed doesn;t make it a rule for the rest of us :roll:

Rule? no

Stereotype? yes

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There's no such thing as a EX - hooker. Once the damage is done, it's permanent. Everyone must have heard this old saying

" You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl "

Friends yes, GF or wife, no way. Tried it 2x as a GF, against all odds they failed. Go figure.

that is such bullshit. just cause you failed doesn;t make it a rule for the rest of us :roll:

it's a bit of a sweeping generalsiation agreed, but i do think relationships with a hooker could be difficult.

mind u relationships with females also tend to be difficult !!

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There's no such thing as a EX - hooker. Once the damage is done, it's permanent. Everyone must have heard this old saying

" You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl "

Friends yes, GF or wife, no way. Tried it 2x as a GF, against all odds they failed. Go figure.

that is such bullshit. just cause you failed doesn;t make it a rule for the rest of us :roll:

it's a bit of a sweeping generalsiation agreed, but i do think relationships with a hooker could be difficult.

mind u relationships with females also tend to be difficult !!

if she is still hookin yea but to say once a hooker always a hooker is bullocks

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