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to gik or not to gik?? That is the question.


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No its not the same as having an affair, or having a f*ckbuddy. It has a very wide ranging meaning and can mean anything from simply a friend of the opposite sex with whom you may go out some times and have nothing more than a break from the full-time partner (but without sex) all the way through to someone that you simply have as a friend that you can f*ck without any strings attached.

My personal opinion, especially related to the latter definition, is that if you are not in an "open" relationship with your full-time partner, having a gik is dangerous to your real relationship as it is likley to become something more than a no-strings attachment.

Having friends of the opposite sex with whom you go out for lunch or coffee and just enjoy chatting is one thing but if it becomes sex based for whatever reason, it is likley to destroy the other relationship, even if it is not meant to. I really think it is too dangerous.

My feeling about an "open" relationship is that it is no different from simply using the partner for sex whilst pretending to have a relationship. To me, the definition of a loving relationship is where you have a commitment to your partner, and have no real interest in anyone else of the opposite sex other than just as friends with no sexual activity involved.

Greer

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While I'm waiting to move into my new house, I'm staying with 2 Thai guys who are very old friends of mine. Here is their explaination of what a Gik is (paraphrased)....

In traditional Thai culture, having a girlfriend/boy is much the same as having an intention to marry her/him one day. Its serious and to break-up can cause loss of face and embarrasment for both and also for their families.

The term "Fan" in Thai can mean partner/ wife/husband as well as boyfriend/girlfriend.

Playing the field, f*cking around and having serial relationships is more a Western culture thing. It's not really a Thai thing, although it has become more common now (mainly in the cities).

One of the guys here has a Gik, the other has no girlfriend or Gik at all.

For a Thai guy he has 3 choices of having a girl...

1) he remains single and will probably visit a massage place once a week or more, for 'services' (depending on his money situation) As the single guy here does now.

2) Have a Gik (and also go to massage regularly)

or 3) Have a proper girlfriend who he would introduce to his family and perhaps one day marry etc. (and probably still visit masage places regularly too)

Thai guys dont really have open public displays of sexuality or affection like western guys do.

Most Thai guys follow 5 basis rules....

1. Never talk about what sex youre having with anyone. Mouth shut.

2. Never be seen in public with a 'hooker' or a hostess.

3. Never have sex in your own area. Go somewhere else for discretion.

4. Never fall in love with or have any relationship with a hooker or hostess

5. Never buy her gifts or give her anything beyond the fee for her services.

If you look at the above 5 rules, you can see why most Thai guys laugh at Farang who do the opposite.

The guy here who has a Gik broke up with his long-term girlfirnd a year ago, and is not interested in having another girlfriend in the near future. He has a very nice girl who comes to see him a couple of times a week. They are great friends, but there is no commitment between them other than sex and friendship. Its the equivilent to a "Lover" in the West. Neither will introduce the other to their families and they both keep it very discrete. They both know the situations and seem happy with it so far. They both have good careers they can focus on too, without having to worry about "taking care' of the other in traditional Thai ways.

Many bar girls etc also have Giks (not always Thai guys). The reasons for this are obvious and much the same as above.

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To be honest I think it is silly to compare the concept of 'giks' with 'bargirl' relationships.

Thais have never had relationships with hookers or bargirls as you point out. Mind you in the West I have never met a guyl who has dated hookers but there you go. It is a peculiar cross-cultural theme in Thailand.

It is better to compare 'giks' with 'mia-nois' in that traditionally in addition to his wife many Thais would have a 'mia-noi' - a lover who he supported financially but who remained sexually loyal to him. The 'gik' on the other hand receives no financial support and guarantees no sexual fidelity and is a relatively modern concept.

It basically reflects the fact that women are both more financially and sexually independent than in the past.

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To be honest I think it is silly to compare the concept of 'giks' with 'bargirl' relationships.

Thais have never had relationships with hookers or bargirls as you point out. Mind you in the West I have never met a guyl who has dated hookers but there you go. It is a peculiar cross-cultural theme in Thailand.

It is better to compare 'giks' with 'mia-nois' in that traditionally in addition to his wife many Thais would have a 'mia-noi' - a lover who he supported financially but who remained sexually loyal to him. The 'gik' on the other hand receives no financial support and guarantees no sexual fidelity and is a relatively modern concept.

It basically reflects the fact that women are both more financially and sexually independent than in the past.

I did not compare Giks with bar girls at all. I just said that many bar girls do have giks. And yes, they can be Thai guys or farang.

While its true that the majority of Thai guys dont see or even engage in bar girls like westerners do, some Thai guys do have 'Gik status' with bar girls away from the bar scene and in private.

You comparison of Giks and Mia Noi is quite correct, I believe.

The point I was making was that one cannot really understand the term Gik without putting into the Thai context of relationships. Its easy to compare it to a 'lover' in a western sense, but this would not really be accurate, without the Thai contexts.

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The world gik itself is new phenomenon and debatable. I never have on myself so can not give insight comment. Here is some comments on it diffinition;

"gik"( I believe it derives from the English slang "gig" - which was originated by North American jazz musicians - although I'm not completely certain if that is the source here). In Thai, "gik" refers to a casual sexual relationship.

"gik is from the word "goog-gik" means being cute/having fun/playful together secretly. There are many young couples in thailand who have gik as well as fan (boyfriend/grilfriend), but if you're married and have another woman it's not "gik" it's "mia noi"

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"gik is from the word "goog-gik" means being cute/having fun/playful together secretly. There are many young couples in thailand who have gik as well as fan (boyfriend/grilfriend), but if you're married and have another woman it's not "gik" it's "mia noi"

Well Cessy,

Correct me if I am wrong but if a girl told me she was someone's 'mia noi', I would (1) assume that she was being 'supported' in some way by that guy financially and (2) that she had some sexual commitment to him.

If she said he was a 'gik' I think that means there is no commitment on either side and it is open invitation to 'jeep' her.

It all gets very confusing - I mean you ask a girl if she has a boyfriend - and she says I dont know - go figure.

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Robbie,

I agree with you that gik is not equal mia noi in the sense of commitment. But I am not sure about is either gik ,as interpersonal relationship, involved sexual relationships or not. May be this is depend on who you talk to. If you ask a very young people they may just refer to being cute/having fun/playful together secretly but not related to sexual relationship. But if you ask an older/experienced people secret sexual relationship may be an main dimension.

Any way there is not yet have a definition of gik in Thai dictionary.

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I have only a gik at times and no bf ...

:P

....Maybe you can enlighten the poster(s) and share your view(s) about the following 1. Definition of gik? 2. Is it a cultural norm? Since you are so far the only one who has admitted that you have/ had a "gik".

Hmmm... well the thread is only 2 pages long and if you go back and look at TF there are lots of girls who admit to giks.

Normally they have both a bf and giks but there you go....

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From what I have been told by a number of Thai friends, a gik is certainly more than a "friend" but not necessarily going as far as sex...so it can actually be a very close friend of the opposite sex, but one that you don't f*ck!

It is certainly a person with whom you could have sex, but that if you did, it would be just for fun and mean nothing at all...to say it in Australian terms I guess we could say it was a fancy way of having a wank...and with about as much commitment!

It's not really equivalent to lover because it doesn't have to involve sex, and it's therefore not necessarily having an affair, as that does imply a sexual relationship...it's an open relationship without the relationship...maybe thats a way to say it.

Greer

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Hmmm... well the thread is only 2 pages long and if you go back and look at TF there are lots of girls who admit to giks.

Normally they have both a bf and giks but there you go....

Yes, I've read some profiles, some old threads about "gik"... I am not a veteran here in TF and I am not also familiar with "gik" - what it is exactly... (not that I am super interested to know) however, I keep on reading new threads or journals asking what it is..and for this thread, someone admitted she has/ had giks - but did not answer what the poster's question.

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Read this whole thread. I can't see how a Gik isn't identical to a f*ck buddy and it is not unique to Thailand at all. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck it is a duck.

Well I would say 'gik' has a much wider definition than '**** buddy'.

For a start a girl can call a guy a 'gik' and NOT actually be ******* him - just be good friends.

Secondly she may well be refering to a secondary bf - who she is shagging behind her bf's back - that would also be a 'gik'.

Still I guess in english we dont have words for these sort of 'friends'. And if we are shagging guys behind are bf's back we dont really go around telling everyone about it. Cultural differences.

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