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^^ PICK UP LINES? ^^


PeeMarc
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Personally, i hate them and dont ever use any. But, we all have to deal with them sometimes.

Do you use pick up lines?

Do you respond to pick up lines?

Here's a sample of some...

_________________________

- STRAIGHT TO THE POINT -

_________________________

- Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

- Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

- Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

- Do you take it up the ass?

- Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

- Excuse me. Do you want to **** or should I apologize?

- Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?

- I am a magical being, take off your bra.

- I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

- Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

- Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

- My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."

- My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.

- Nice shoes, wanna ****?

- Your face or MINE!?

______________________________

CHEESY

______________________________

- (With hands on her shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.

- Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

- Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

- Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

- Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.

- (As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!

- Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

- Bond. James Bond.

- Can I borrow a some money? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

- Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

- Do you come here often?

- Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

- Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.

- Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

- Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

- Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

- Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

- How was heaven when you left it?

- I didn't know that angels could fly so low!

- I have only three months to live. ..

- I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

- I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

___________________________

BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD OPTIONS

___________________________

- Uh, hey baby.

- Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."

- You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.

- Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.

- Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.

- What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..

- If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.

- I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..

- My lips are registered weapons.

- I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?

- If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..

- If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..

- If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..

- If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..

- Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..

- Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.

- You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..

- Uh,...what?

_______________________

WHAT THE F*CK?

_______________________

- (leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.

- Are we related? Do you want to be?

- Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.

- Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)

- Do you know how to use a whip?

- Drop 'em!

- Excuse me, do you live around here often?

- Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

- Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?

- Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

- Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

- I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...

- I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

- I'm drunk.

- I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.

- If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

- I like the look of your crotch.

- Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

- Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

- Say, did we go to different schools together?

- That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.

- What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??

- Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!

- Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

- Would you like to dance or should I go **** myself again?

- Would you like to see me naked ??

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  • 2 years later...
  • 4 weeks later...

hi.im an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore uranus.

if i flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances of getting head?

if you think Chewbacca is hairy wait till you see my wookie:]

the word of the day is legs, lets say we head back to your place and spread the word.

did you just fart because you just blew me away

my love for you is like diarrhea. it runs forever.

â—¦The only thing I want between our relationship is latex!

â—¦If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

â—¦I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

â—¦If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.

â—¦I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke

â—¦There are 256 bones in your body! Would you like another?

â—¦Nice dress! Can I talk you out of it?

â—¦Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

â—¦I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

â—¦Do you want to play army? I will lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

â—¦I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

â—¦Do you know what a man with a 12 inch **** has for breakfast? No! Well I have Bacon and Eggs!

â—¦If you were a lolly I would be licking you all night!

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