English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I have a question re first date manners.... I was recently contacted by a female member and discussed meeting up. I sent a message saying "How about 1pm at restaurant X?" She SMSed her reply, "Sure, see you at 1pm at restaurant X." Then she didn't show up. When I asked why she said I didn't confirm the date. Do I need to confirm a confirmation? She was rude and obnoxious afterwards, so I'm glad we didn't meet up, but I just wondered what other members think of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyboy Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I have a question re first date manners.... I was recently contacted by a female member and discussed meeting up. I sent a message saying "How about 1pm at restaurant X?" She SMSed her reply, "Sure, see you at 1pm at restaurant X." Then she didn't show up. When I asked why she said I didn't confirm the date. Do I need to confirm a confirmation? She was rude and obnoxious afterwards, so I'm glad we didn't meet up, but I just wondered what other members think of this. Very rude mate! ( Are you English_George's brother? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Sorry, no... been a TF member for years, but this is my first forum posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 yes, extremely rude, but not all that uncommon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Not uncommon, I know... sad isn't it. I mean, everyone has a mobile - it's pretty easy to call up and apologise if you can't make it. Or if you need confirmation, just ask. I'd have confirmed, rather than waste my time (I only waited 25 minutes - that's my Thai girl limit!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAum Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I sent a message saying "How about 1pm at restaurant X?" She SMSed her reply, "Sure, see you at 1pm at restaurant X." Then she didn't show up. When I asked why she said I didn't confirm the date. Do I need to confirm a confirmation? She was rude and obnoxious afterwards, so I'm glad we didn't meet up, but I just wondered what other members think of this. ammmm....sounds strange to me ..... both of you... why is there no one to ask about date? is it supposed to be "tomorrow"? confirmation? i'm not sure i would agree for this word.... since "she" didnt know about the date at the first place.... "She was rude and obnoxious afterwards"....why's that? because she feels upset about you? or from misunderstanding?.... of course... no one is wrong... or at least only one person is wrong. I dont know how rude she is... but once she feels that you (probably) are not nice to her.... and you are just a person whom she just "chat" with..... so... no need to care much... i think it's simple ja... Not uncommon, I know... sad isn't it. I mean, everyone has a mobile - it's pretty easy to call up and apologise if you can't make it. Or if you need confirmation, just ask. I'd have confirmed, rather than waste my time (I only waited 25 minutes - that's my Thai girl limit!) i wonder.... it seems to be... you like her to call you "first" for this matter.... how would she call you if she (probably) doesnt know you appointed her that day.... :? ammm.... time is valuable for everyone ja.... anyway... your Thai girl limit....25 minutes?!.... why's that?.... if she were English girl, it would be 3 hours?.... sorry i dont get it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 or it could be that she is just a stupid, selfish *****. In which case you haven't really wasted much time finding out so early. But, it really sounds like a misunderstanding, plus perhaps you trying to overlay your own standards and 'rules' on a Thai girl. This often doesnt work at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Hi... yeah I think you misunderstood... Here's what happened from step 1. 1 She introduced herself via a message. 2 We exchanged a few more messages and agreed to meet for lunch. 3 We chose a restaurant and I sent her an SMS asking "1pm tomorrow?" 4 She answered "Sure, see you there at 1pm." 5 I went there at 1pm and she didn't show up. 6 I sent her a message asking why she didn't come and she replied "You didn't confirm the time." I don't understand. Surely SHE confirmed the time saying "Sure, see you there at 1pm." Then she was rude and sent several messages about how she didn't need to explain or call. She felt she didn't need to be polite because she isn't looking for a bf. Being punctual or calling ahead is common courtesy. It's something we should do for everyone - friends, lovers, business associates and yes - first dates. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The 25 minute rule? Sorry to say a lot of Thai girls are very bad at timekeeping. If I haven't had a call or SMS after 25 minutes, then I leave. When I first came here I was kept waiting more than an hour several times. Then I asked myself a question, "If a girl is more than 25 minutes late for a first date, without phoning to explain, do I really want a second date?" Wait for English girls? 5555 lol Even when I lived in England I didn't date English girls. My spec has always been Asian (Central or South-East)... don't know why, just in my DNA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Yeah - well said about the rules... but don't you get frustrated with stuff like this? I have a few basic standards that I need in a relationship... Politeness Honesty Sense of Humour And a smoking hot body with a killer smile OK so I can let the last one slip. But a first date is your chance to make a good impression. If you're late, or don't say thank you, how does that bode for the future? Better to find out now and save myself a lot of wasted hours (as Blowing in the Wind said). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Being punctual or calling ahead is common courtesy. It's something we should do for everyone - friends, lovers, business associates and yes - first dates. never assume that this is 'common' courtesy in Thailand or in Asia. In fact, never assume anything. Clearly, she wasnt taking the whole thing as seriously as you. I think she's done you a favour. Move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelis Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 She just stood you up man, the rest is just a silly attempt at an excuse..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Yeah - well said about the rules... but don't you get frustrated with stuff like this?I have a few basic standards that I need in a relationship... Politeness Honesty Sense of Humour And a smoking hot body with a killer smile OK so I can let the last one slip. But a first date is your chance to make a good impression. If you're late, or don't say thank you, how does that bode for the future? Better to find out now and save myself a lot of wasted hours (as Blowing in the Wind said). dude, i have a thai gf who is always all of the things you ask for above (an much more). and i think she has a 'smoking hot body' too... though thats not a huge priority for me. I think you will find that when you find a thai girl who you really 'click' with, you will be constanty blown away at how amazing she will be. (I am every day) This one you tried to date was just not that one, or even worth the effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAum Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Hi... yeah I think you misunderstood... Here's what happened from step 1.1 She introduced herself via a message. 2 We exchanged a few more messages and agreed to meet for lunch. 3 We chose a restaurant and I sent her an SMS asking "1pm tomorrow?" 4 She answered "Sure, see you there at 1pm." 5 I went there at 1pm and she didn't show up. 6 I sent her a message asking why she didn't come and she replied "You didn't confirm the time." I don't understand. Surely SHE confirmed the time saying "Sure, see you there at 1pm." Then she was rude and sent several messages about how she didn't need to explain or call. She felt she didn't need to be polite because she isn't looking for a bf. Being punctual or calling ahead is common courtesy. It's something we should do for everyone - friends, lovers, business associates and yes - first dates. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The 25 minute rule? Sorry to say a lot of Thai girls are very bad at timekeeping. If I haven't had a call or SMS after 25 minutes, then I leave. When I first came here I was kept waiting more than an hour several times. Then I asked myself a question, "If a girl is more than 25 minutes late for a first date, without phoning to explain, do I really want a second date?" Wait for English girls? 5555 lol Even when I lived in England I didn't date English girls. My spec has always been Asian (Central or South-East)... don't know why, just in my DNA. thank you for sharing :wink: i can undertstand more clearly and also agree with you in some parts... anyway, i agree with Peemarc... and next time you should know "her" more before having date... follow your DNS and good luck :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fujico Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I don't understand. Surely SHE confirmed the time saying "Sure, see you there at 1pm." For me, that is already comfirmed. :roll: :roll: Didn't show up is worse than cancelled at the last minute. Forget about What happened between you and her. Cheer up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Thanks folks - I let this bother me too much. Letting go... letting go... Hanging up on my therapist.... and I'm cool again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Thanks folks - I let this bother me too much.Letting go... letting go... Hanging up on my therapist.... and I'm cool again. Hey! need billing address. invoice will be sent soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I already sent you a message telling you where to go for payment and what you will get.... don't tell everyone, I'll be inundated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAum Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I already sent you a message telling you where to go for payment and what you will get.... don't tell everyone, I'll be inundated. just sent only him?.... how about me?!....UNFAIR!!! :twisted: ---- ha ha!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I didn't know you guys are an item - it's an invite to you both as a couple... I feel kind of stupid for flirting with you a few months back... :oops: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I didn't know you guys are an item - it's an invite to you both as a couple... I feel kind of stupid for flirting with you a few months back... :oops: shows you have good taste mate. dont sweat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beej Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Never **** on her face on the first date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Never sh*t on her face on the first date. are we being poetic or speaking metaphorically here beej? just askin' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu_thailand Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 A Thai not turning up for a date / meeting? Oh, that is unheard of, you are very unlucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Yeah I flirted with him a bit a while back too.After you with the therapist. yeah.... its my **** isnt it. thought so. men. (tsk) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodKarma Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Dude; TF is like a box of chocolates right you never know what you gonna get run forrest run... Good luck bro, just a bad apple in da bunch... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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