Stramash Posted January 2, 2012 Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting abilities are pretty funny. Yet paradoxically, when he appears in a comedy, he is not funny at all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Kaunitz is a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Kaunitz is a joke. Why did the Kaunitz cross the road? ... ... Because no-one on this side found him funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Kaunitz is a joke. Q Did you hear the one about Kaunitz making people laugh? A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 How many Kaunitzes does it take to change a lighbulb? Who cares? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Q Did you hear the one about Kaunitz making people laugh? A Ja........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKYWARRIOR Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Q: do you know why the streets of Paris were lined with shadey trees in the 1940's? A: The Germans prefered to march in the shade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 A Ja........ That's sexist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Q: do you know why the streets of Paris were lined with shadey trees in the 1940's?A: The Germans prefered to march in the shade. That's racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Why did the Kaunitz cross the road?... ... Because no-one on this side found him funny! That's funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 That's funny. Phew. Was worried you may think it was kaunitzist.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD]Just seen footage of the 4 American Marines pissing on members of the Taliban. Personally i think it's DISGUSTING..... You'd think that at least one of them would have washed their hands.[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Why did the Kaunitz cross the road? Because Stramash tried to make a joke on this side... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Because Stramash tried to make a joke on this side... You don't need to make a joke as you are the joke, my friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeLuka Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,… “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?” What do you call a tele tubbie that's been burgled? A tubbie. Did you hear the one about the magic tractor? He turned into a field. A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.” How do you confuse a dickhead? 42. Why did the scarecrow win an award? 'Cos He was outstanding in his field. Edited January 14, 2012 by LukeLuka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted January 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Knock knock! Who's there? Kaunitz Oh **** off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,… “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?” What do you call a tele tubbie that's been burgled? A tubbie. Did you hear the one about the magic tractor? He turned into a field. A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.” How do you confuse a dickhead? 42. Why did the scarecrow win an award? 'Cos He was outstanding in his field. son of Kaunitz... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 son of Kaunitz... as discussed and not contested before.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. though he still has some difficulty when he urinates... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. though he still has some difficulty when he urinates... Lord, help us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted August 18, 2012 Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 I've opened a bakery recently and a lady phoned me up, wanting a cake with 'I SUCK *****' written on it. I thought it was weird but made it anyway. Mrs Cox was pissed off when I delivered it. So was her son, Isaac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted August 19, 2012 Report Share Posted August 19, 2012 I've opened a bakery recently and a lady phoned me up, wanting a cake with'I SUCK COCKS' written on it. I thought it was weird but made it anyway. Mrs Cox was pissed off when I delivered it. So was her son, Isaac. That's hilarious that you think that was funny! haha, nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted August 19, 2012 Report Share Posted August 19, 2012 That's hilarious that you think that was funny! haha, nice. Maybe he will trade that sense of humour in with his old volvo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted September 23, 2012 Report Share Posted September 23, 2012 An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ. It is believed to be so offensive that St Peter's church in Shrewsbury have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, Dorothy Green from Margate has written to her local paper, and Mr Cooper of Hornchurch is said to be 'extremely disgruntled' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted September 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.It is believed to be so offensive that St Peter's church in Shrewsbury have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, Dorothy Green from Margate has written to her local paper, and Mr Cooper of Hornchurch is said to be 'extremely disgruntled' I very much doubt she used the word 'extremely'. That would smack of extremism. I have a feeling she would term it 'quite', 'rather' or 'jolly'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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