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Gold for sinsod and giving an IOU


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I honestly searched the forums before deciding to post this question. If someone knows of an existing thread I would like to receive the link.

I do not want to debate whether to give sinsod and "tong mhand" or not. "Tong mhand" is the gold given to your fiancee for the engagement or wedding.

Particularly from Thai ladies, what would you think if your boyfriend/fiance asked you to take an IOU for the "tong mhand" or Gold because the price of gold is very high right now. Is this insulting ? AN IOU is a way of postponing the purchase of the actual Gold or Gold jewelry.

Gold = US$ 1,016 per ounce or about THB 16,100 per baht.

Thanks for your kind responses.

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Depends on how long that IOU will take, I think and of course it depends on your woman if she a heavy gold lover or not. The gold price won't get any cheaper so the longer it takes, more money you have to pay.

If you feel uncomfortable to pay for "thong mhand", perhaps the best way is letting your wife-to-be knows. If she loves you not your money, she would understand.

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It is traditionally to be given away to the bride's family,

however!

It's upon an agreement between two families (parents of the bride and groom). But I can only speak for something is done in some working middle class families. Sinsod-Thongmun or downry is for the "Look", it's there to 'show off' his wealth that the groom is/will be able to take care of the bride. So you have it there to "show" but not giving just yet. Often Money and the Gold are return to the groom after the wedding. I guess you can call it IOU.

however!

some families can get irritated by this especially the money hungers and bridezillas. :P

bridezillacopy.jpg?t=1253673356

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My parents would give you your 'sinsord and thongman' back if they just see you are capable to show ones which mean you are capable to take good care of me and your kids in the future.

So guys, come and give me proposal! :lol:

i can think of several proposals i could give U !!!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:

but marriage isn't one of them !!!!

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My parents would give you your 'sinsord and thongman' back if they just see you are capable to show ones which mean you are capable to take good care of me and your kids in the future.

So guys, come and give me proposal! :lol:

i can think of several proposals i could give U !!!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:

but marriage isn't one of them !!!!

Oh that's so cruel.. I'm crying real hard now, thinking should I kill myself or something... lol

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It is traditionally to be given away to the bride's family,

however!

It's upon an agreement between two families (parents of the bride and groom)....(etc. I cut the rest)

I want to thank everyone for their polite and considerate answers.

I quoted SweetBabie because I know the sinsod is traditionally given to the bride's family and they may or may not return it to the man. I am not worried about the cash sinsod. Is the engagement gold for the family also?

For me, the gold and gold jewelry I thought was something more private and personal just between me and Audy (if she will say Yes). But the prices for gold are very high. That makes it a lot less personal and a lot more financial.

My thoughts were the gold is for her as a gift from me - it is just between us and not a matter for the family. I think the IOU might be seen as a bad idea.

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It is traditionally to be given away to the bride's family,

however!

It's upon an agreement between two families (parents of the bride and groom)....(etc. I cut the rest)

I want to thank everyone for their polite and considerate answers.

I quoted SweetBabie because I know the sinsod is traditionally given to the bride's family and they may or may not return it to the man. I am not worried about the cash sinsod. Is the engagement gold for the family also?

For me, the gold and gold jewelry I thought was something more private and personal just between me and Audy (if she will say Yes). But the prices for gold are very high. That makes it a lot less personal and a lot more financial.

My thoughts were the gold is for her as a gift from me - it is just between us and not a matter for the family. I think the IOU might be seen as a bad idea.

i think it's pretty difficult for us from the western world to get our heads around the idea of a sinsod or dowry .... anyway i'm using it as my excuse to never ever get married again. :twisted: :twisted:

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Normally, the engagement gold isn't for the family. It's for your bride (but some family might take it).

I'm glad that I'm not a man, I don't have to pay for sinsod. If I were a man I might stay singer.

I don't believe that sinsod is a must give thing in Thai tradition. I'm married to farang and my husband didn't pay any penny to my parents. However, I do get presents from him every now and then and I do give presents to him also. I believe that being a couple is about supporting each other. This is more important then any sinsod".

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go for a chinese thai girl. the ball game is different. they might enjoy a gift of money etc but they will appreciate giving it back if you are going to buy a condo or some kind of investment in your future together. this sounds reasonable to me

I don't think this goes for only chinese/thai. My wfie's family just wanted the sin sot for show, and we got it back after the wedding.

And woah...beej is shacking up!

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My parents would give you your 'sinsord and thongman' back if they just see you are capable to show ones which mean you are capable to take good care of me and your kids in the future.

So guys, come and give me proposal! :lol:

i can think of several proposals i could give U !!!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:

but marriage isn't one of them !!!!

Oh that's so cruel.. I'm crying real hard now, thinking should I kill myself or something... lol

bloody hell .... u don't even know what i was gonna propose !!! :shock: :shock:

or then again maybe u could guess !!!!! :twisted:

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I just think the whole idea would not come up. As I am not asking her to be my cultural traditional either (what ever that means....) and make her parents pay the wedding or make her stay home between my fist and the cooking stove or make her cook me food everyday I eat in my home country or make her blond her hair because that is how women look traditionally in my region and the list could go on and on and on.

(The bride's prize for show as a part of wedding ceremony and traditions though is fun and good idea. :))

ps. To the TO...IOU is so stupid idea. Why bother.

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My parents would give you your 'sinsord and thongman' back if they just see you are capable to show ones which mean you are capable to take good care of me and your kids in the future.

So guys, come and give me proposal! :lol:

i can think of several proposals i could give U !!!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:

but marriage isn't one of them !!!!

Oh that's so cruel.. I'm crying real hard now, thinking should I kill myself or something... lol

bloody hell .... u don't even know what i was gonna propose !!! :shock: :shock:

or then again maybe u could guess !!!!! :twisted:

Hahaha okay okay. What was it then?

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I wonder why the couple usually follow the Thai wedding traditions?

Sin Sod, Thai ceremony and Thai wedding party.... they're all pretty boring.

Sorry, but English weddings are WAAY more fun. Great food and drink. Dancing, drinking and a good chance to meet someone (assuming you're not the one getting married).

I had an Italian friend who married a Thai girl. They had an Italian wedding in Bangkok. Everyone had a great time and the Thai guests whooped it up more than I've ever seen at any Thai wedding.

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I wonder why the couple usually follow the Thai wedding traditions?

Sin Sod, Thai ceremony and Thai wedding party.... they're all pretty boring.

Sorry, but English weddings are WAAY more fun. Great food and drink. Dancing, drinking and a good chance to meet someone (assuming you're not the one getting married).

.

you could say this about pretty much any Thai social occasion. boring. I love thai people as much as the next but put more than a few at any social occasion and the boredom sets in

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I am not worried about the cash sinsod. Is the engagement gold for the family also?

For me, the gold and gold jewelry I thought was something more private and personal just between me and Audy (if she will say Yes). But the prices for gold are very high. That makes it a lot less personal and a lot more financial.

Marriage has a lot to do with finance anyway. Think of it as an insurance investment then. If she can't perform as a wife or a good spouse or if infidelity happen, you can get sidsord-thongmuhn, the money and the gold back. You don't get it back as if guilt is on your side though. :)

Thai ceremony and Thai wedding party.... they're all pretty boring.

The higher up in Thai society, the more boring wedding is.

Can't say that it's at all boring in somewhere 'Baan nok' rural areas, lots and lots of boozing, 'Mor lum' and all.

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