(Very long journal, may cause confusion and headache as well as you failing in love with me lol keep reading!) Some people might call it "growing up" but I consider what I'm about to tell you a story of redemption: (To all those who waited now is the time to find out the truth! (not that there is anyone lol) ) two years ago I came on TF looking and wondering why such a nice guy like myself still don't have a girlfriend (probably because I was 30 kg heavier, wear glasses and totally look like a nerd lol but that is irrelevance now) Finally I found a very very nice and hot farang lady and the chemistry was just right. Our six months together was wonderful, probably one of the most vibrant and excited time of my life. Sadly, I found out that she already has a Thai husband. I did not blame her nor anyone for this situation that I got into and understood how horrible the situation must be to her and her husband as well, the right thing and only thing that I can do is to walk away. From then on, I prayed that I have another chance at redemption. That chance came on the Valentine day of this year. I tried very hard (too hard for sure) to ensure that the relationship worked. Guess what in the end it didn't work out for whatever reason (To her aunt that might be reading my journal, please tell her that I still care for her and hope we can remain friend) Not to mention that during all those times, I had always have strong feeling for this very special lady. It all came crashing down (Probably in the act of destiny) when I found out that my Ph.D application was turned down. Imagined the devastation, I was crashed, broken, depress (and every other words that you can think of). I had to make a choice whether to dwell on my sorrow and pretend to live but instead hide behind my education as an excuse or finally start living in reality and don't let such a small obstacle stop me from the path of self fulfillment. Guess which path do I choose from? After having been liberated from my former self, I finally express my deep feeling toward that special lady in that I love her for the way that she is and that I will always love her no matter what happen. For that I have been truly redeem and writing this journal is a closer to my former life of 26 years. "For I have seen the light, no greatnesses or failures will tempted me into something that I'm not. For I have been transformed and my life is completed and I shall live my life with integrity and sincerity as if I only have one day left on this planet." (Thank you all the good people of TF for reading this and yes, fear not, Thai version coming very shortly I PROMISE!)

i'm waiting in thai version kaa hehehe

Facing reality is life and you will learn as the years go by...........hope that you will be happy soon?

Well Dan... pick up the pieces and cheer up! Life isn't always easy..

Is a thai version different from the english one ka.

I am dead curious. Please don't forget to add more details like how old is your special lady.

Why doesn't she told you that she was married.

when we get old all we have left is our memories

go out there and make some worth remembering

I'm already late, will get back to fall for you later.........

CobraKai- It would have been a Ph.D on Conflict Resolution and I would be among a very few individual in Thailand that has that degree

Duanja- The Thai version would be a lot shorter cause I can not type Thai very well.

Just to tell you I came back and read already.. I started to wonder why a cutie one like me still single. I haven't been in relationship for years.. something wrong with me perhaps..

babyoiy- Sorry to hear that, Coming from the guy perspective, you might not like to express your feeling and expect a guy to sense that you have a feeling for him. This is exactly the case with my special lady. However, I always keep thinking of her and realize that I should be the one that make the move first. That might be your case as well, but hey, what do I know, I'm just another guy that can not read a woman mind.