ACCOUNTING: Unable to count on each other, one threatens to

jump off a ledger due to sensing a lack of

appreciation.

ANATOMY: "I never liked your body anyway."

ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the

other of trying to dig it up.

ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."

BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"

BUSINESS: Both take stock of their relationship, and then

calculate that they're spending way too much

time and money together given the future of their staying together.

CHEMISTRY: Unable to bond, they resort to drinking

isopropynol

COMPUTING: He wanted plug-n-play, but she saw a window of

opportunity in a bit of interfacing with eunuchs.

COUNSELING: Each urges the other to "get help!"

ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.

EDUCATION: Both concede that the relationship was a

learning experience.

E. ENGINEER.: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure

there are positives and negatives, but..." [okay,

yes, I know you're groaning ;-)]

ENGLISH: Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter,

complete with introduction, thesis, body, and

conclusion, that doesn't really say anything

substantively intelligible.

GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to

avoid each other.

GEOLOGY: Although both felt the earth move under their

feet initially, both later express the

sendiments that the relationship was rocky at the

foundation, and slated for a volcanic eruption.

GERMAN: It was the best of relationships, it was the

wurst of relationships.

HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by

something the other party did in the past.

ITALIAN: "Mama Mia!"

JEWISH STUDIES: "OY! You should feel so guilty!"

JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and

Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of

2 weeks..."

LAW: They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating

agreement.

MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in

Tennessee, a country song) to express his or her

sorrow.

PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no

one to witness the breakup, are they really

single?

PHYS. ED.: Despite her bad track record, he put the

ball in her court, but she dropped the ball,

didn't go the extra mile, and he ended up

sitting on the side lines o' love.

PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what

goes up must come down.

PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a

substitute for his Mother.

RELIGION: Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God

SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the

relationship.

THEATRE: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"

WOMEN'S STUDIES: "HE did it!"

ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked

sophisticated communication skills.