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Monogamy... Today?

Ammy

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"It seems no other population suffers the same magnificent anguish that we americans do. The Russians regard affairs as benign vices, like cigars and scotch. The Japanese have institutionalized extramarital sex through clubs and salaryman lifestyles. The French, who don't cheat as much as we thought they did, prize discretion above the occasional lie. In sub–Saharan Africa, even the threat of death by HIV hasn't created a strong taboo on cheating. And God, well, he's tried. Like a father gently lecturing his adolescent, using the monogamy-is-cool approach, and then resorting to "You're grounded for life if you disobey me." But to no avail: Even God-fearing and devout Muslims, Christians, and Jews are still cheating and having affairs, still double-parking on their spouses.""According to the General Social Survey, the most recent statistical examination of marital infidelity, about 4 percent of married men polled claimed at least one sexual partner outside his marriage in the year prior; around 3 percent for married women. Compare this with Africa's Ivory Coast, where 36 percent of married men strayed, according to Druckerman."After reading an article from this linkhttp://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=1>1=9212&wa=wsignin1.0It seems to me that these days people dont beleive in monogamy anymore. Looks like we are back into animal instincts? Most people I know dont believe in marriage anymore (Mostly men).They dont believe in an idea of keeping one person for the rest of their lives. They dont believe that one partner would be satisfied in sex for the rest of life... They believe that passion is not a feeling that any sane person builds the rest of their life. I am sure that boredom in sex could happen when you are in a long term relationship or marraige for a long period but dont people have any moral left now to be able to do such a thing like cheating and hurting another person that you claim to 'love'? Does this mean that we have to develope some new attitudes toward relationship and marriage in these modern days that its acceptable when your partner might cheat on you... As long as its out of sight and mind and they are still with you... ? Frown
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Ammy
"It seems no other population suffers the same magnificent anguish that we americans do. The Russians regard affairs as benign vices, like cigars and scotch. The Japanese have institutionalized extramarital sex through clubs and salaryman lifestyles. The French, who don't cheat as much as we thought they did, prize discretion above the occasional lie. In sub–Saharan Africa, even the threat of death by HIV hasn't created a strong taboo on cheating. And God, well, he's tried. Like a father gently lecturing his adolescent, using the monogamy-is-cool approach, and then resorting to "You're grounded for life if you disobey me." But to no avail: Even God-fearing and devout Muslims, Christians, and Jews are still cheating and having affairs, still double-parking on their spouses.""According to the General Social Survey, the most recent statistical examination of marital infidelity, about 4 percent of married men polled claimed at least one sexual partner outside his marriage in the year prior; around 3 percent for married women. Compare this with Africa's Ivory Coast, where 36 percent of married men strayed, according to Druckerman."After reading an article from this linkhttp://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=1>1=9212&wa=wsignin1.0It seems to me that these days people dont beleive in monogamy anymore. Looks like we are back into animal instincts? Most people I know dont believe in marriage anymore (Mostly men).They dont believe in an idea of keeping one person for the rest of their lives. They dont believe that one partner would be satisfied in sex for the rest of life... They believe that passion is not a feeling that any sane person builds the rest of their life. I am sure that boredom in sex could happen when you are in a long term relationship or marraige for a long period but dont people have any moral left now to be able to do such a thing like cheating and hurting another person that you claim to 'love'? Does this mean that we have to develope some new attitudes toward relationship and marriage in these modern days that its acceptable when your partner might cheat on you... As long as its out of sight and mind and they are still with you... ? Frown
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Princess

I would be more hurt if I found my partner had fallen in love with someone else as opposed to just having a shag, Is it acceptable? Not really but I do accept that there is a good possibility of it happening. Humans are NOT monogamous creatures. It isn't in our instinct to take mates for life - that's my opinion anyway.

I will never look for signs of a partner's infidelity because I'd rather not know than find out that my suspicions were true. It may sound a but naiive but why destroy something so strong over something that may prove to be inconsequential, a mistake if you will, in the larger scheme of things? If he's going to come back, he will. If he isn't, no power on earth can make someone love you against their wishes so why bother anyway?

That said, I don't believe in cheating on a partner. Not because I am any more morally upright than anyone but because of the simple fact that, if I am attracted to other men, my partner no longer holds my interest and therefore the relationship no longer holds my interest and must be ended. Serial monogamy? Perhaps. Easier on my conscience than telltale rug burns though.

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condotown

Marriage is a second hand invention.

Invented by governments and religions which are inventions of men.

Marriage was invented long before mass transportation and mass communication.

These things lead to mass temptation and the ease of becoming acquainted with a multitude of attractive potential mates.

I still believe in it, but only as a business agreement, and likely not for me.

A contract that if examined closely, offers very little benefit to the male half.

I find it impossible to examine it from the female viewpoint.

A final thought is that financial considerations cannot be swept under the rug or ignored when considering marriage. If one side has a lot more assets than the other side, the husband and wife are not equal, no matter what charade they try to put on.

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2qt4u

Good point condotown :)

They have been feeding it to us to long with books, tv and other media. Many countries have like china, india, thailand and the arabs (thats the most of the world) have other belifs. Why animal instinct? Swans stay with one partner for example and so do many other animals.

Women get less interested in their looks and sex after they have gotten married they want to have baby and settle down not so for the men.

Why should anybody live with one person for the rest of the life in misery just because some one guy on a mountain told them so more then 2000 years ago.

I am not saying love can not bind you for ever and ever but then its natural not like now when people chasing love like it was a car they are buying.

A Thai nun living in France said and I like that very much

?if you are looking for love then it is a selfish feeling because it is something you want, if you let the love come to you and with no conditions then it?s a natural feeling?

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2qt4u

Good point condotown :)

They have been feeding it to us to long with books, tv and other media. Many countries have like china, india, thailand and the arabs (thats the most of the world) have other belifs. Why animal instinct? Swans stay with one partner for example and so do many other animals.

Women get less interested in their looks and sex after they have gotten married they want to have baby and settle down not so for the men.

Why should anybody live with one person for the rest of the life in misery just because some one guy on a mountain told them so more then 2000 years ago.

I am not saying love can not bind you for ever and ever but then its natural not like now when people chasing love like it was a car they are buying.

A Thai nun living in France said and I like that very much

?if you are looking for love then it is a selfish feeling because it is something you want, if you let the love come to you and with no conditions then it?s a natural feeling?

Link to comment
2qt4u

Good point condotown :)

They have been feeding it to us to long with books, tv and other media. Many countries have like china, india, thailand and the arabs (thats the most of the world) have other belifs. Why animal instinct? Swans stay with one partner for example and so do many other animals.

Women get less interested in their looks and sex after they have gotten married they want to have baby and settle down not so for the men.

Why should anybody live with one person for the rest of the life in misery just because some one guy on a mountain told them so more then 2000 years ago.

I am not saying love can not bind you for ever and ever but then its natural not like now when people chasing love like it was a car they are buying.

A Thai nun living in France said and I like that very much

?if you are looking for love then it is a selfish feeling because it is something you want, if you let the love come to you and with no conditions then it?s a natural feeling?

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