Last two nights I enjoyed celebrating our ‘Over’ celebration with Kevin in Bangkok. Kevin broke up with his friend and he wanted my get-it-over-with advice. His situation right now reminds me of my previous break-ups, and of course, I was very fond of having someone to talk to in order to get things out of my chest. 

My big but younger brother desires to linger his friendship with his friend. Based on my experiences, he could not ditch the problem into a waste bin because the incident was too sudden. If he loves his dignity and takes precedence over the bullshit drama this time, he should seek a new cock to substitute the just-gone one.  

But for **** sake, I advised him to keep in touch with the friend as a **** buddy. Kevin’s brain has been re-programmed as I always asserted some non-hostile data to sooth his traumatic sensation.  

As for my celebration, I guess my torrential journals last few weeks had hurt Stefan. After weeks of his reek of silence, he decided to end our friendship secretly early this week. We are officially over. Stefan told me that he had a girlfriend when in Kassel. But that magically took place after I told him that I was not interested in carrying on our relationship and I was ready to move on.  

Well, when I say I am done, that means I am done. 

In Kassel, I promised him to be his friend forever, but it turned out otherwise because of his action. Stefan has been observing my thoughts from my prior journals, which have been revealing my ex-files and my current one as well. I am an out-spoken person and Stefan turns to be my victim who deserves to get slapped by my battle-axe words.  

In court, the jurors decide the outcome, but in relationship, the victims always decide their fate. And Stefan has just decided his. 

Till now, the real motives to cost our friendship have yet to be unfolded as he kept his mouth shut. But what I’ve learnt from the incident is it’s very dangerous and forbidden to let someone know the real you. 

Think on the bright side, Stefan’s very brave to end our friendship. He’s a big man but very sensitive to all ex-files. It suddenly daunted on me that he did the right thing to prevent his new relationship. And in fact, being friends with your ex is the form of insincerity.  

Stefan had been keeping his new relationship as a secret. According to my bible, he expected the renewal of our relationship some times in the future. But as I spitted out some of my new meeting and strutted out with my never-give-a-**** expression on my face, he was assured that it was about time to let our connection go. 

To prop up my staggering feelings, I told myself that I was braver to have a gut to wrote him a letter to tell him this, “I love you (as a friend), but I love me more.” Better than that, I always confront any problems, but he decides to run away from them.  

Few hours later, I felt so much better. So now I know that it’s easier to break up with guys. But please, don’t try me to break up with my shoes.  

I am 29 years old now and so far, no boys get down on their knee to propose me with a ring. However, I recently had one but it was a drama ring. An administrator from my office gave me a ring and asked me to go to office in order to sign my working-performance papers. It sounded very in a hurry to her, but turned out not. 

Normally, Phrae, one of my colleagues, signed them for me, but this time, my office asked me to do it myself.  

The admin lady just wanted to show P’Toy’s compliments on the papers, bragging about my excellent performance in the prior months. I could smell something fishy, but not a fish around her desk. Dragging me into office and asked me to witness the dramatic words. That’s weird! 

Our lives need drama. But like I said in my last couple journals, things always sit in the wrong place and time. Drama this time did not work in my case. If comparing the wrong place and time as a pair of unfitted shoes, just don’t wear them if they don’t fit.”  

I’m so sick of drama right now, and never appreciate.