From Mikey Moore To Dubya Bush

[Aphrodite]

My ex sent me this so i think i should share it with you :

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and

thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on

earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help

finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use

them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with

national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of

Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was

pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without

power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans.

That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt

your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had

fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure

showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to

Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let

people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the

heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you

specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer

for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut

the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to

fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for

them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved

by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew

over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know

you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a

commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it

against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to

nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the

water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this

inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is

nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having

one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent

of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation

to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened

to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for

five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters

and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are

near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore

[email protected]

www.MichaelMoore.com

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and

dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the

country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them

before they get to DC on September 21st.

[HarryCallahan]

Michael Moore was in Florida when it hit, hmmm, perhaps he sneezed? Or was it a fart? No it was only a category 5, must have been the sneeze.

[khun_lung]

Great post May! I love the sarcasm!

[Dominique355]

President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French

President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

?This is a bold step forward for America,? said Bush. ?And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Shalac, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.?

The state, ravaged by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

?Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,? said Bush. ?He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it.?

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

?This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,? said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. ?Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.?

?This is indeed a smart move,? commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. ?Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.?

The money gained from ?The Louisiana Refund? is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq. The remainder of the original Louisiana Purchase will remain with the United States, although Arkansas was offered for an additional $1 million. The French declined saying that they were not interested in another third world project.