Jokes

[LudwigVonMises]

(NOTE: If these are too inappropriate, mods, feel free to delete them.)

Lee and Larry were a pair of winos. They woke up with the shakes one afternoon to find they had only forty cents between them. Larry began to climb the walls, but Lee said, ?Look, old man, give me the forty cents and I?ll show you how we can drink free all day.? So they went into a delicatessen, and Larry bought a frankfurter, which he stuck in Lee?s fly.

Next, they went into a nearby bar and ordered drinks. When the bartender asked for his money, Larry got down on the floor and started sucking the frankfurter. The bartender screamed, ?You ******* queers, get out of here!?

They repeated the scene in bar after bar until they had toured a dozen of them. Finally, Larry complained, ?Listen, Lee, it was a great scheme but my knees are getting sore from hitting the floor so much.?

Lee shook his head. ?You should complain,? he said. ?We lost the hot dog after the second bar!?

-----

The man was dining in a very swank restaurant in New York City. When the elderly waiter brought the consomme; the customer saw that his thumb was deep in the soup bowl.

Next, the waiter served steak Diane, and now his thumb was deep in the gravy. The customer held his tongue. This was, after all, one of New York's finest restaurants.

Finally, for dessert, the waiter brought out coupe marron. This time his finger was not in the ice cream.

The customer could contain himself no longer. "Sir," he said to the waiter, "would you tell me why you put your finger in the consomme; and the steak gravy, but not in the coupe marron?"

The waiter stared coldly at him for a moment, and then replied, "Simple, my good man. I have a bad case of arthritis and warm things relieve the pain in my thumb."

The customer became very angry. "You son-of-a-*****!" he said, "Putting your thumb in my food! You should take that thumb and ram it up your ass!"

The waiter looked at him dourly and said, "That's what I do in the kitchen."

(Postscript: And no, I didn't make these up.)

[SiamHotel]

ha

[SiamHotel]

.. ha

[SiamHotel]

... ha

[SiamHotel]

:roll:

[SiamHotel]

(Postscript: And no, I didn't make these up)

ok ok... SiaM/we/'3m guessed it..

you 5hitty xmart farllang!

:twisted: