From the BBC website:
"Dozens of activists dressed as polar bears are protesting inside the headquarters of a Scottish firm involved in Arctic oil exploration.
Greenpeace said about 60 campaigners had barricaded themselves in at Cairn Energy's offices in Edinburgh.
They are demanding the company publishes details of how it would respond to an oil spill.
Cairn announced in June it had begun drilling at two wells off the coast of Greenland.
Campaigners have staged a series of protests in rece
These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a 2-line rhyme with the most romantic 1st line and the least romantic 2nd line:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thou
Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year.... this is brilliant ......
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so t
From the UK's Daily Telegraph:1. Impossible as it may sound there are still Beatles songs unreleased - the most notable ones being Carnival of Light (an experimental piece recorded on 5 January 1967 for The Million Volt Light and Sound Rave) and a 27-minute jam of Helter Skelter. A John Lennon composition the three surviving Beatles worked on in the early '90s prior to the Anthology release called Grow Old with Me also remains unreleased. 2. The Beatles (or at least half of it) sang for the Roll
Deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend,BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I give you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger – at least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love,Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they
This is (allegedly) a Jeremy Clarkson article that got pulled from yesterday's Sunday Times before it went to print. It's definitely his style ..... "I’ve given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I’m afraid I’ve decided that it’s no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I’m afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn’t alive any more. He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country’
Liz Fraser, ex-Cocteau Twins "voice of God" has announced a new single today - "Moses". For those not familiar with her work, here's Liz in collaboration with Massive Attack from their 1998 album "Mezzanine".
(Not the original video - embedding has been disabled )
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're
Sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this
really great new drink.
The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying
to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The
Bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:
1. A salt shaker,
2. A shot of Baileys,
3. A shot of l
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits. Regards, David.
Love him or hate him, BBC Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson makes some valid points in this rant:Why Britain is now a Third World Country
BRITAIN is a rich and civilised country with many trains, a rule of law, benefits for the needy and much public transport.
Unfortunately, none of it actually works any more. Not the weather. Not the Government. Not even our useless national football teams.And it gets worse.
Want a passport? I did recently and it took three trips to London before they fina
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So,
how is everything going?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is
wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the
other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a
r
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So,
how is everything going?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is
wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the
other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're
Be Careful Out There:
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Sear
A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am,'' and a little tear ran from his eye.Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and never listening to them.
A man went into an urologist and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him.
However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of transplanting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into his 'old fella'.
Th
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got e
If you were a teacher, and received this from one of your pupils, what would YOU think?
And here's the explanation the kid's Mother sent the following day:
"Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who w
It's been over a week now ..... Woke up last Tuesday feeling like 10 pounds of sh*t in a 5-pound bag - headache, runny nose, fever, chills.
Yep, it's the flu, but it's not just any flu, it's MAN-FLU!!
For you ladies out there unfamiliar with this crippling disorder, allow me to enlighten you.
From the Urban Dictionary:
1. "The condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.
This is also known as 'Fishing for Symp
"This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles." (Kelly age 6)
"Oysters' balls are called pearls." (James age 6)
"If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent." (Wayne age 7)
"Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more." (Kylie age 6)
"A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head." (Billy age 8)
"My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back wi
From the BBC website:
"Singer-songwriter John Martyn has died at the age of 60.
The folk, blues and funk artist was widely regarded as one of the most soulful and innovative singer-songwriters of his generation.
He was born in Surrey but grew up in Glasgow. He was appointed an OBE in the New Year Honours.
A statement on his website on Thursday said: "With heavy heart and an unbearable sense of loss we must announce that John died this morning."
The musican, who passed away in hospital i
I used to think Tony Blair's spin doctors were good...
Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Harry Reid's (US Senator for Nevada) great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.
The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory.
On the bac
