I am sick. cold and stomachache.And i just talked with my bf about his job.He wants to find new one coz he doesn't get along well with the boss. So I suggested him to find a job in his hometown coz he could stay with his parents and also help them out as they are very old . But he said he didn't want to meet his ex who works there.The town is small and they are in the same professional. So, he think that a meeting by chance is inevitable.I said that you dont need to care about her any more,  or worry about her appearance.He said he hated her and could not stand seeing her again. I don't like that because it implies that she took over him, still. When you get disappointed from love, then you might turn to hate. It is a love-hate feeling. I do not think love disappear. I think he haven't get over it. She still has much influence upon him. Even though it is 20 years ago. It was his first love.When he said he hated her, but he didn't want to burn her pictures as I challenged. I am a totalitarian of the heart. I am not satisfied to know that she has influence upon him.   

you can't control other peoples minds, and all our life can be influenced by people or situations from our past.

there is no controlling that either.

it is just something to be accepted.

i looks like a little bit of jealousy coming into play here......but that feeling also comes from something that influenced you in the past, be it other people, culture, or personal experience.

if you love him...don't worry about it :-)

Duan,

First of all, hope you will be better soon! Keep in bed and drink lot's of hot tea! :-)

About your bf, hmm... I have exact the same issue. I am avoiding to go to certain places because I know that if I will go there I will meet my ex there. I really hate her also (never ever even thought I could hate somebody, but now I learned I can). She would have a big impact on me when I would see her, but does that mean I still love her, no, not at all!!! I don't want to see her, I don't want to meet her, I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to listen to her, I don't want anything anymore from her. But I do avoid those places where she comes as I know I will feel very angry when I would see her, and due to this anger I would become sad also... And that's what I try to avoid... That is how she can still influence me now, even if I don't love her anymore! My heart completely belongs to somebody else now, no doubt about that! I just want to protect myself from being angry and sad... I guess your bf has a similar feeling!

What should I say??? Love is pain you have pain and he has pain for long time.

Wait until he forgive and forget that girl. Hope it will come soon.......

complicated feeling and mind...

be strong, head ups!

Thank you for all support ka....now i am feeling better.