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A Polish divorce

LazyCat

Entry posted by LazyCat ·

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  A Polish man moved to the USA and married an  American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,  they got along very well until  one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and  asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

 

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a  divorce would depend on the  circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

 

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Have you any grounds?"

 

        POLE:   "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little  home."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "No," I mean what is the foundation of  this case?"

 

        POLE:   "It made of concrete."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Does either of you have a real  grudge?"

 

        POLE:   "No, we have carport, and not need one."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "I mean, What are your relations like?"

 

        POLE:   "All my relations still in Poland "

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

 

       POLE:   "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and  good DVD player."

 

 

       LAWYER:   Does your wife beat you up?"

 

        POLE:   "No, I always up before her."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Is your wife a nagger?"

 

        POLE:   "No, she white."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "WHY do you want this divorce?"

 

        POLE:   "She going to kill me."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "What makes you think that?"

 

        POLE:   "I got proof."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "What kind of proof?"

 

        POLE:   "She going to poison me. She buy a  bottle at drugstore and put on   shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say,   'Polish Remover'."    

 

Smiley  Grin  Grin  Grin  Grin  Grin   

Smiley    Ã¡Â¶ÃÃÕ¡àÃ×èç¹Ö§Åáѹ¤èà  ÊÓËÃѺã¤Ã·ÕèÂѧäÃèà¤ÂÃèÒ¹¹Ã¤à  ÃŠÃ“ËÃѺ¤¹·Õèà¤ÂÃèÒ¹áÅéÇ ¡çÃèÒ¹ÃÕ¡Ãú¹Ã¤à  Â¢Ã“..¢Ó...¤ÅÒÂà¤ÃÕ´¤èà à¼×èÃá¼èÃÃÂÂÔéÃãË餹¢éÒ§æ´éǹäà Wink (¢Ã¢Ãº¤Ø³ à´ç¡´Õ.¤Ãäèà ÊÓËÃѺº·¤ÇÒôÕæ)

 

¢éÃᵡµèÒ§¡Ñ¹ÃÃËÇèÒ§¼ÙéË­Ô§¡Ñº¼ÙéªÒ  

 

 

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ª×èøҵØ- Women  

 

Êٵ÷ҧà¤ÃÕ- FE+MALE  

 

¼Ùé¤é¹¾º- MAN  

 

ÃÇÅÃõÃÃ- Ãҵðҹ 50 ¡ÔâÅ¡ÃÑà áµèÃÒ¨à»ÅÕè¹á»Ãä´é¨Ò¡ 40-80 ¡ÔâÅ¡ÃÑà µÒÃÊÒÃÃÒËÒ÷Õèä´éÃѺ  

 

 

Åѡɳ÷ÑèÇä»- àËÃ×ù¡Ñ¹Ëô  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧ¿ÔÊÔ¡Êì  

 

1. ¾×é¹¼ÔÇ·Ø¡Êèǹà¤Å×ú´éÇÂÊÒÃËÃÃÃÃàË áÅäÃÕúÓÃا  

 

2. à´×ô·ÕèÃسËÀÙÃÔµèÒ§ æ àÃÒá¹èäÃèä´é  

 

3. ¶Ö§¨Ø´àÂ×áá¢ç§·Ñ¹·Õ·Ñ¹ã´â´ÂäÃèÃÙéÊÒà˵Ø áÅÃÃÒ¨ÃÂÙè·Õè¨Ø´àÂ×áá¢ç§ä´é¹Ò¹à»ç¹ÊÑ»´ÒËì  

 

4. ËÅÃÃÃ…ÃÅÒÂä´éàÃçÇËÒ¡ä´éÃѺ¡ÒÃàÃÒã¨ÃÂèÒ§¶Ù¡ÇÔ¸Õ  

 

5. ÃÕÃÊà¼ç´áÅâÃËÒ¡ãªé¼Ô´ÇÔ¸Õ  

 

6. á»Ãà»ÅÕè¹ä´éËÅÒÂʶҹõÑé§áµèá¢ç§à»ç¹ËÔ¹ ¨¹¶Ö§Ãèùà»ç¹¢Õé¼Öé§Å¹ä¿  

 

7. äÃè·¹µèáÒÃàÊÕ´ÊÕ  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧà¤ÃÕ  

 

1. ºéÒ§ÃÕÃÊà»ç¹¡Ã´ ºéÒ§ËÇÒ¹¡ÇèÒ¹éÓµÒÅ ºéÒ§à»ÃÕéÂÇÃÃËÇÒ¹  

 

2. ·Ó»¯Ô¡ÔÃÔÂÒÃÂèÒ§ÃÇ´àÃçǡѺ ྪà ·Ã§ ´Ã¡äÃé áÅÃÊÔ觢çÊǧÒ÷ءª¹Ô´  

 

3. ´Ù´«ÖâéÃÃÙÅ¢èÒÇÊÒÃÃúµÑÇä´éáÅúѹ·Ö¡¤ÇÒèӷÕèäÃèÊÒÃÒöźä´éã¹Ë¹èǤÇÒè ÓÃôѺÃËÀÒ¤  

 

4. ÃÒ¨ÃÃàºÔ´ÃÂèÒ§µèÃà¹×èçä´éâ´ÂäÃèÃÕÊÑ­­Ò³àµ×ùÅèǧ˹éÒ  

 

5. ÃդسÊúѵÔÅÃÅÒ·ÃѾÂìä´é´ÕàÃ×èüèÒ¹ËéÒ§ÊÃþÊÔ¹¤éÒ  

 

6. à¢éÒà»ç¹à¹×éÃà´ÕÂǡѹä´é¡Ñº¼ÅäÃéÃÊà»ÃÕéÂÇ ¼Ñ¡áÅÃÊÅÑ´  

 

¡Ò÷´Êú  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹ÊժþÙà¢éÃàÃ×èö١ÊÑüÑÊ  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹ÊÕà¢ÕÂÇàÃ×èÃÇÒ§¶Ñ´¨Ò¡µÑÇÃÂèÒ§·ÕèÊÇ¡ÇèÒ  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹Êè§àÊÕ§äÃèËÂØ´àÃ×èÃÃÂÙèÃÇáѹà»ç¹¡ÅØèà  

 

 

»ÃÃ⪹ì  

 

+ ạâÅ¡äÇé¤ÃÖè§Ë¹Öè§  

 

+ ´Óçà¼èҾѹ¸ØìùØÉÂì  

 

+ ·ÓâÅ¡ãËéÊ´ãÊ  

 

+ ÊÃéÒ§¤ÇÒÃÃèùâ¹ãËéà¡Ô´ã¹Êѧ¤ÃùØÉÂì  

 

 

 

¢éäÇÃÃÃÇѧ  

 

- ÊÑüÑÊ´éǤÇÒûÃóյáÅÃãËéà¡ÕÂõÔ ÃԩùÑé¹ÃÒ¨ä´éÃѺÃѹµÃÒ  

 

- ¤Ãú¤Ãçä´éà¾Õ§ªÔé¹à´ÕÂÇ ã¤Ã½èÒ½×¹¨Ãà¡Ô´ "ÊÒÃàÊéÒ´Õ«ÕÊ" ·ÓãËé·Øù·ØÃÒ  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԢç¼ÙéªÒ  

 

ª×èÃ¸ÒµØ - MAN  

 

Êٵ÷ҧà¤ÃÕ - MA-LE  

 

¼Ùé¤é¹¾º - WOMAN  

 

ÃÇÅÃõÃà - ¤ÇÒÃÂÒÇ 170 «Ã. áµèÃÒ¨à»ÅÕè¹á»Ãä´éµÑé§áµè 160-200 «Ã.  

 

áÅéÇáµèÇèҤ鹾ºã¹·Çջ㴠 

 

 

Åѡɳ÷ÑèÇä» - ¤ÅéÒ¡ѹËôàÃ×èÃÊÑüÑÊÊÔè§ÊǧÒà  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧ¾Ñ¹¸ØÈÒʵÃì  

 

1.à¨ÃÔ­àµÔºâµä´é´Õã¹¹Ô⤵ԹáÅÃáÃÅ¡ÃÃŽÃÅì  

 

(à¾ÃÒéùÑé¹ ã¹àµÃã¹àÇÊâÃà¡é ¨Ö§à¨ÃÔ­àµÔºâµÃÂèÒ§àËç¹ä´éªÑ´  )  

 

2. ªÃº¤ÇÒÃÃعáç  

 

3. à©Ò§èÒ ËÒ¡äÃèä´éÃѺ¡ÒÃàÃÒáàÃÒ㨠 

 

4. ÃÂÙèäÃèà»ç¹·Õè ªÃºÃÂÙèµÒ÷ÕèµèÒ§ æ ËÒµÑÇÂÒ¡  

 

5. à»ÅÕè¹á»Å§ä´éËÅÒÂʻժÕÊì áÅéÇáµèʶҹ¡Òóì  

 

6. ¡ÒõúʹçªéÒ ·¹µèáÒÃàÊÕ´ÊÕä´é´ÕÃÒ¡  

 

 

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1. ÃÕÊÒûÃáúãªé·ÓÂÒÃúÒÂáÅÃÂÒàº×èÃä´é´Õ  

 

2. ·Ó»¯Ô¡ÔÃÔÂÒÃÇ´àÃçǡѺÊÔè§ÊǧÒ÷Õè¼èҹ˹éÒ  

 

3. à»ÅÕè¹ä´éËÅÒÂÊÕ µÒÃáµè¶Ôè¹·ÕèÃÂÙèÃÒÈÑ  

 

¡Ò÷´Êú  

 

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1. à»ç¹à¾×èùàÅè¹ÂÒÃà˧Ò  

 

2. à»ç¹ÂÒÃà½éÒºéÒ¹·Õè´Õ àÃ񊂎Ȏç¡Ñ¹µÑÇä´é  

 

3. à»ç¹¾Ò˹à ãªéạ¢¹ÊÑÃÀÒÃÃä´é ÂÒêéû»Ôé§  

 

 

¢éäÇÃÃÃÇѧ

 

1. ¤ÇÃàÅÕ駴éǤÇÒÃÃÃÇѧÃÔàªè¹¹Ñé¹ ÃÒ¨¹Ã¡ÅÙè¹Ã¡·Ò§  

 

2. äÃè¤ÇÃãËéÃÂÙèÃÇáѹà»ç¹¡ÅØèà à¾ÃÒèÃÂÔ觪èÇÂàÃ觤سÊúѵԷҧ¾Ñ¹¸ØÈÒʵÃì   áÅÃÃÒ¨à¡Ô´¡Òà mutation ä»à»ç¹¡ÅØèÃááä´é  GrinGrin 

 

              SmileySmileySmiley

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LazyCat

  A Polish man moved to the USA and married an  American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,  they got along very well until  one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and  asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

 

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a  divorce would depend on the  circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

 

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Have you any grounds?"

 

        POLE:   "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little  home."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "No," I mean what is the foundation of  this case?"

 

        POLE:   "It made of concrete."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Does either of you have a real  grudge?"

 

        POLE:   "No, we have carport, and not need one."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "I mean, What are your relations like?"

 

        POLE:   "All my relations still in Poland "

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

 

       POLE:   "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and  good DVD player."

 

 

       LAWYER:   Does your wife beat you up?"

 

        POLE:   "No, I always up before her."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "Is your wife a nagger?"

 

        POLE:   "No, she white."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "WHY do you want this divorce?"

 

        POLE:   "She going to kill me."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "What makes you think that?"

 

        POLE:   "I got proof."

 

 

       LAWYER:   "What kind of proof?"

 

        POLE:   "She going to poison me. She buy a  bottle at drugstore and put on   shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say,   'Polish Remover'."    

 

Smiley  Grin  Grin  Grin  Grin  Grin   

Smiley    Ã¡Â¶ÃÃÕ¡àÃ×èç¹Ö§Åáѹ¤èà  ÊÓËÃѺã¤Ã·ÕèÂѧäÃèà¤ÂÃèÒ¹¹Ã¤à  ÃŠÃ“ËÃѺ¤¹·Õèà¤ÂÃèÒ¹áÅéÇ ¡çÃèÒ¹ÃÕ¡Ãú¹Ã¤à  Â¢Ã“..¢Ó...¤ÅÒÂà¤ÃÕ´¤èà à¼×èÃá¼èÃÃÂÂÔéÃãË餹¢éÒ§æ´éǹäà Wink (¢Ã¢Ãº¤Ø³ à´ç¡´Õ.¤Ãäèà ÊÓËÃѺº·¤ÇÒôÕæ)

 

¢éÃᵡµèÒ§¡Ñ¹ÃÃËÇèÒ§¼ÙéË­Ô§¡Ñº¼ÙéªÒ  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԢç¼ÙéË­Ô§  

 

ª×èøҵØ- Women  

 

Êٵ÷ҧà¤ÃÕ- FE+MALE  

 

¼Ùé¤é¹¾º- MAN  

 

ÃÇÅÃõÃÃ- Ãҵðҹ 50 ¡ÔâÅ¡ÃÑà áµèÃÒ¨à»ÅÕè¹á»Ãä´é¨Ò¡ 40-80 ¡ÔâÅ¡ÃÑà µÒÃÊÒÃÃÒËÒ÷Õèä´éÃѺ  

 

 

Åѡɳ÷ÑèÇä»- àËÃ×ù¡Ñ¹Ëô  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧ¿ÔÊÔ¡Êì  

 

1. ¾×é¹¼ÔÇ·Ø¡Êèǹà¤Å×ú´éÇÂÊÒÃËÃÃÃÃàË áÅäÃÕúÓÃا  

 

2. à´×ô·ÕèÃسËÀÙÃÔµèÒ§ æ àÃÒá¹èäÃèä´é  

 

3. ¶Ö§¨Ø´àÂ×áá¢ç§·Ñ¹·Õ·Ñ¹ã´â´ÂäÃèÃÙéÊÒà˵Ø áÅÃÃÒ¨ÃÂÙè·Õè¨Ø´àÂ×áá¢ç§ä´é¹Ò¹à»ç¹ÊÑ»´ÒËì  

 

4. ËÅÃÃÃ…ÃÅÒÂä´éàÃçÇËÒ¡ä´éÃѺ¡ÒÃàÃÒã¨ÃÂèÒ§¶Ù¡ÇÔ¸Õ  

 

5. ÃÕÃÊà¼ç´áÅâÃËÒ¡ãªé¼Ô´ÇÔ¸Õ  

 

6. á»Ãà»ÅÕè¹ä´éËÅÒÂʶҹõÑé§áµèá¢ç§à»ç¹ËÔ¹ ¨¹¶Ö§Ãèùà»ç¹¢Õé¼Öé§Å¹ä¿  

 

7. äÃè·¹µèáÒÃàÊÕ´ÊÕ  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧà¤ÃÕ  

 

1. ºéÒ§ÃÕÃÊà»ç¹¡Ã´ ºéÒ§ËÇÒ¹¡ÇèÒ¹éÓµÒÅ ºéÒ§à»ÃÕéÂÇÃÃËÇÒ¹  

 

2. ·Ó»¯Ô¡ÔÃÔÂÒÃÂèÒ§ÃÇ´àÃçǡѺ ྪà ·Ã§ ´Ã¡äÃé áÅÃÊÔ觢çÊǧÒ÷ءª¹Ô´  

 

3. ´Ù´«ÖâéÃÃÙÅ¢èÒÇÊÒÃÃúµÑÇä´éáÅúѹ·Ö¡¤ÇÒèӷÕèäÃèÊÒÃÒöźä´éã¹Ë¹èǤÇÒè ÓÃôѺÃËÀÒ¤  

 

4. ÃÒ¨ÃÃàºÔ´ÃÂèÒ§µèÃà¹×èçä´éâ´ÂäÃèÃÕÊÑ­­Ò³àµ×ùÅèǧ˹éÒ  

 

5. ÃդسÊúѵÔÅÃÅÒ·ÃѾÂìä´é´ÕàÃ×èüèÒ¹ËéÒ§ÊÃþÊÔ¹¤éÒ  

 

6. à¢éÒà»ç¹à¹×éÃà´ÕÂǡѹä´é¡Ñº¼ÅäÃéÃÊà»ÃÕéÂÇ ¼Ñ¡áÅÃÊÅÑ´  

 

¡Ò÷´Êú  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹ÊժþÙà¢éÃàÃ×èö١ÊÑüÑÊ  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹ÊÕà¢ÕÂÇàÃ×èÃÇÒ§¶Ñ´¨Ò¡µÑÇÃÂèÒ§·ÕèÊÇ¡ÇèÒ  

 

* Çѵ¶ØµÑÇÃÂèÒ§¨Ãà»ÅÕè¹à»ç¹Êè§àÊÕ§äÃèËÂØ´àÃ×èÃÃÂÙèÃÇáѹà»ç¹¡ÅØèà  

 

 

»ÃÃ⪹ì  

 

+ ạâÅ¡äÇé¤ÃÖè§Ë¹Öè§  

 

+ ´Óçà¼èҾѹ¸ØìùØÉÂì  

 

+ ·ÓâÅ¡ãËéÊ´ãÊ  

 

+ ÊÃéÒ§¤ÇÒÃÃèùâ¹ãËéà¡Ô´ã¹Êѧ¤ÃùØÉÂì  

 

 

 

¢éäÇÃÃÃÇѧ  

 

- ÊÑüÑÊ´éǤÇÒûÃóյáÅÃãËéà¡ÕÂõÔ ÃԩùÑé¹ÃÒ¨ä´éÃѺÃѹµÃÒ  

 

- ¤Ãú¤Ãçä´éà¾Õ§ªÔé¹à´ÕÂÇ ã¤Ã½èÒ½×¹¨Ãà¡Ô´ "ÊÒÃàÊéÒ´Õ«ÕÊ" ·ÓãËé·Øù·ØÃÒ  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԢç¼ÙéªÒ  

 

ª×èÃ¸ÒµØ - MAN  

 

Êٵ÷ҧà¤ÃÕ - MA-LE  

 

¼Ùé¤é¹¾º - WOMAN  

 

ÃÇÅÃõÃà - ¤ÇÒÃÂÒÇ 170 «Ã. áµèÃÒ¨à»ÅÕè¹á»Ãä´éµÑé§áµè 160-200 «Ã.  

 

áÅéÇáµèÇèҤ鹾ºã¹·Çջ㴠 

 

 

Åѡɳ÷ÑèÇä» - ¤ÅéÒ¡ѹËôàÃ×èÃÊÑüÑÊÊÔè§ÊǧÒà  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧ¾Ñ¹¸ØÈÒʵÃì  

 

1.à¨ÃÔ­àµÔºâµä´é´Õã¹¹Ô⤵ԹáÅÃáÃÅ¡ÃÃŽÃÅì  

 

(à¾ÃÒéùÑé¹ ã¹àµÃã¹àÇÊâÃà¡é ¨Ö§à¨ÃÔ­àµÔºâµÃÂèÒ§àËç¹ä´éªÑ´  )  

 

2. ªÃº¤ÇÒÃÃعáç  

 

3. à©Ò§èÒ ËÒ¡äÃèä´éÃѺ¡ÒÃàÃÒáàÃÒ㨠 

 

4. ÃÂÙèäÃèà»ç¹·Õè ªÃºÃÂÙèµÒ÷ÕèµèÒ§ æ ËÒµÑÇÂÒ¡  

 

5. à»ÅÕè¹á»Å§ä´éËÅÒÂʻժÕÊì áÅéÇáµèʶҹ¡Òóì  

 

6. ¡ÒõúʹçªéÒ ·¹µèáÒÃàÊÕ´ÊÕä´é´ÕÃÒ¡  

 

 

¤Ø³ÊúѵԷҧà¤ÃÕ  

 

1. ÃÕÊÒûÃáúãªé·ÓÂÒÃúÒÂáÅÃÂÒàº×èÃä´é´Õ  

 

2. ·Ó»¯Ô¡ÔÃÔÂÒÃÇ´àÃçǡѺÊÔè§ÊǧÒ÷Õè¼èҹ˹éÒ  

 

3. à»ÅÕè¹ä´éËÅÒÂÊÕ µÒÃáµè¶Ôè¹·ÕèÃÂÙèÃÒÈÑ  

 

¡Ò÷´Êú  

 

àÃ×èõѴà¹×éÃàÂ×èÃÃÒÇÔà¤ÃÒÃË쾺ÇèÒ Êèǹ˹éÒÃÕ¤ÇÒÃ˹ÒÃÒ¡¡ÇèÒÊèǹÃ×è¹  

 

 

»ÃÃ⪹ì  

 

1. à»ç¹à¾×èùàÅè¹ÂÒÃà˧Ò  

 

2. à»ç¹ÂÒÃà½éÒºéÒ¹·Õè´Õ àÃ񊂎Ȏç¡Ñ¹µÑÇä´é  

 

3. à»ç¹¾Ò˹à ãªéạ¢¹ÊÑÃÀÒÃÃä´é ÂÒêéû»Ôé§  

 

 

¢éäÇÃÃÃÇѧ

 

1. ¤ÇÃàÅÕ駴éǤÇÒÃÃÃÇѧÃÔàªè¹¹Ñé¹ ÃÒ¨¹Ã¡ÅÙè¹Ã¡·Ò§  

 

2. äÃè¤ÇÃãËéÃÂÙèÃÇáѹà»ç¹¡ÅØèà à¾ÃÒèÃÂÔ觪èÇÂàÃ觤سÊúѵԷҧ¾Ñ¹¸ØÈÒʵÃì   áÅÃÃÒ¨à¡Ô´¡Òà mutation ä»à»ç¹¡ÅØèÃááä´é  GrinGrin 

 

              SmileySmileySmiley

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LazyCat

Periboea>>>>>>>>>> Maybe this Polish guy was the only one in Poland that wasn't very good in English & intelligent.... It's just a story....

ni2508>>>>>>>>>>> â´Â੾ÒäسÊúѵԷҧ¿ÔÊÔ¡Êì ÎÔÎÔ....

jlanne>>>>>>>>>>> Fortunately in my class was no male student at all. Thanks god...

MikeAussieGuy>>>>>> Which one ? lol...

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