Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You

died in your sleep, Ralph..'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much

to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm

near his home..

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers,

clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's

your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ra lph the hen, 'but I have this strange

feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.

'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big

deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an

egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He

soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the

back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....

> >> Ralph! Wake up. You **** the bed!

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